The husband is a Baptist and the wife is Orthodox. Submission to husband: six erroneous opinions
My husband has become a Baptist, what should I do?
Baptists are a sect of peculiarly lost people, which has nothing to do with the Church of Christ and the salvation of God. They, like all sectarians and heretics, study the Bible in a wrong, false and erroneous way. To turn to them and communicate with them is a sin that causes severe harm to the soul.
I don't know if your prohibition will help in this case. We must try to explain their lies and point to the holy fathers of the Church as the only true source of spiritual enlightenment, including in relation to Holy Scripture.
The Baptists are a Protestant sect that appeared in 1633 in England. Initially, its representatives were called “brothers”, then “baptized Christians” or “Baptists” (Baptisto from Greek means I immerse), sometimes “Catabaptists”. The head of the sect, at its inception and initial formation, was John Smith, and in North America, where a significant part of the followers of this sect soon moved, was Roger William. But here and there the heretics soon divided into two, and then into several factions. The process of this division continues to this day, due to the extreme individualism of the sect, which does not tolerate either obligatory symbols and symbolic books, or administrative guardianship. The only symbol recognized by all Baptists is the apostolic symbol.
The main points of their teaching are the recognition of Holy Scripture as the only source of doctrine and the rejection of the baptism of children; instead of baptizing children, their blessing is practiced. Baptism, according to the teachings of the Baptists, is valid only after the awakening of personal faith, and without it it is unthinkable, has no power. Hence baptism, according to their teaching, is only an external sign of the confession of a person already “inwardly converted” to God, and in the action of baptism its divine side is completely removed, the participation of God in the sacrament is eliminated, and the sacrament itself is reduced to the category of simple human actions. The general character of their discipline is Calvinistic.
According to the structure and management, they are divided into separate independent communities, or congregations (hence their other name - congregationalists); moral restraint is placed above teaching. The principle of unconditional freedom of conscience is the basis of all their doctrine and structure. In addition to the sacrament of baptism, they also recognize communion. Although marriage is not recognized as a sacrament, its blessing is considered necessary and, moreover, through presbyters or in general. officials communities. The moral requirements of the members are strict. The model for the community as a whole is the apostolic church. Forms of disciplinary punishment: public exhortation and excommunication from church communion. The mysticism of the sect is expressed in the predominance of feeling over reason in the matter of faith; extreme liberalism prevails in matters of dogma. Baptism is internally homogeneous.
At the heart of his teaching is the teaching of Luther and Calvin about predestination. Baptism differs from pure Lutheranism in its consistent and unconditional implementation of the basic provisions of Lutheranism about the Church, on Holy Scripture and on salvation, as well as hostility towards Orthodoxy and the Orthodox Church, and an even greater inclination towards Judaism and anarchy than in Lutheranism.
They lack a clear teaching about the Church. They deny the Church and church hierarchy making themselves subject to the judgment of God:
Matthew 18:
17 if he does not listen to them, tell the church; and if he does not listen to the church, then let him be to you, like a pagan and a publican.
Answered by Viktor Belousov, 12/24/2010
Inna asks:"Hello! I have been tormented by a question for a long time ... I am an Orthodox Christian, and my boyfriend is a Baptist ... And he says that if I am not baptized in their faith, then we will not be able to be together ... And we have been dating for 2 years and it's time to think... Is marriage possible between us if I don't come to him in faith? and I'm not ready to accept it. Thank you in advance."
Peace be with you, Inna!
Marriage brings people together - and the more points of contact, the better. Faith in Christ should unite, not divide.
How will you raise your children?
Will you worship icons?
Will you celebrate Orthodox "family" holidays?
Will you have mutual understanding in matters of morality and spirituality? If divorce is quite acceptable for "ordinary" Orthodoxy, then for a Baptist it is almost an unacceptable option in principle.
How will you deal with family planning?
And there will be a lot of such nuances.
14 Do not bow under the yoke of others with unbelievers, for what fellowship is there between righteousness and iniquity? What does light have in common with darkness?
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For this reason, it is recommended to enter into a marriage covenant with fellow believers so that there are no unnecessary problems in the new family. Because the differences are not just "cultural nuances", but very fundamental issues from the point of view of the Bible.
I can advise you to determine the period - for example, half a year - when you study the Baptist doctrine, how it corresponds to the Bible in comparison with the Orthodox. Then you can make a more informed decision - and your boyfriend will also be able to decide.
Blessings
Victor
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Media review
The wife must obey her husband. This is written in 1 Pet. 3:1-6. But what is true submission to a husband not? John Piper leads ten six erroneous opinions on this account.
When I preached about twenty years ago on this subject, a woman admitted that she was very happy about this issue (which is not true submission to her husband), because we bring different opinions to the biblical text based on our experience. I guess you heard different points about obedience - some you agreed with without difficulty, and some, perhaps, simply terrified you.
When we put something in the biblical text that is not there, it may turn some people off - "Oh no, this is not for me!" But, refusing to fulfill this text, we "together with the water we throw out the baby from the bath." And this is very sad. So I wrote down six things that are not really the submission to a husband that Peter is talking about (1 Pet. 3:1-6).
Likewise, you wives, obey your husbands, so that those of them who do not obey the word may be gained by the life of their wives without a word when they see your pure, God-fearing life. May your adornment be not external weaving of hair, not golden headdresses or finery in clothes, but a man hidden in the heart in the incorruptible [beauty] of a meek and silent spirit, which is precious before God. So once the holy women, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, obeying their husbands. So Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master. You are her children if you do good and are not embarrassed by any fear.
1. To obey does not mean to agree on everything.
Submission to her husband does not mean constant conciliation. A prime example is the issue of faith. Suppose the husband is an unbeliever. And he says, “I forbid you to be a Christian. In our house we worship ISIS (or whatever).” It is entirely possible to be submissive and at the same time reject the mindset or belief that your husband imposes on you. Without this principle, this passage (1 Pet. 3:1-6) is meaningless. You swore allegiance to Jesus. Now Jesus is your Lord and King. Yes, you have become a stranger in your family. Even outcast - because the husband worships another god, and you are called to live with him. Don't get divorced because religious differences. If a husband says, “I don't want you to be a Christian,” what can you do? Just say, “I love you. I want to be an obedient wife. But in this matter, I have no choice. I belong to Jesus." Your husband can kick you out. This possibility is mentioned in 1 Cor. 7. When an unbelieving husband demands a divorce, it can be a great tragedy for him.
Obedience does not mean that you must always agree with your husband - even if it is something as fundamental and serious as Christian faith. God gave you intelligence. The ability to think. You are a person, not just a body or a machine. You are a thinking being, able to independently understand whether the gospel is true or not. And if it's true, then accept it. If the husband says, "Don't believe it," you humbly and submissively disagree.
2. Obedience does not mean that you need to "leave your brains at the altar" (during the wedding)
Perhaps this paragraph duplicates the previous one, but it should be considered from a slightly different angle. Any husband who says “only I should think in my family” is spiritually sick and holds a distorted understanding of authority and power (as a husband). Once I had to deal with a married couple. And the wife confessed to me that her husband demands from her that she ask him for permission even to go to the toilet. Yes, yes, I'm not kidding. I looked at her husband and said, “You have serious problems. You have an incredibly perverted idea of a wife, a co-heir of God's grace. You do not understand the essence of the Bible. You have taken such words as "power", "authority", "leadership" and "obedience" and filled them with the meaning that you yourself wanted. Your opinion has nothing to do with the Bible.”
Submission by no means means that the wife should "leave her brains at the altar." The husband must understand that throughout family life next to it there is an "independent think tank", giving birth to its own thoughts, which are worth listening to. It is this approach that serves unity, the achievement of harmony of “one flesh”. Leadership does not mean that you should not listen to the opinion of your spouse. Leadership does not even mean that the husband always has the last word. Good leadership often admits its mistakes: "You were right and I was wrong."
Leadership means taking the initiative in your own hands. Sometimes I ask couples a question: “Which of you most often suggests “let's go…” - “Let's go to dinner”. "Let's get our finances in order." "Let's go to church next Sunday." Etc.
So, who uses the word "come on" more often? If - the wife, then the family has problems. More precisely, the problems of her husband. If - a husband, then, quite possibly, the wife is pleased that she does not have to take the initiative over and over again. Wives do not particularly like to drag their husband in tow all the time - "come on." Generally speaking (and I know I'm generalizing), good leadership means the husband's initiative under which the wife flourishes. This is not a dictate. Not "no-one-listening". Not even the right to "last word".
If you ask my wife what it means for Piper to be obedient to his wife, she might say: “We made a rule in the early years of our marriage: if we start to quarrel over some issue, John goes to call someone ". This is really important. But now this almost never happens. And one of the reasons for this is that we have been together for a long time and we know what the other thinks. Another reason is that I often agree with my wife. I don't have a need to always be right or always do things my way. Or demand that I always have the last word.
3. Submission does not mean that you should not try to influence your husband.
Submission does not mean that you should stop trying to influence your husband or try to change him in some way. The general meaning of the passage under consideration lies in the word "acquired." A wife dedicates her life to making her unbelieving husband a believer. Think of those times when someone called a woman to obey her husband and said, “Stop trying to change your husband!” Of course, I understand what is meant in this case (constant nit-picking, “sawing”, etc.). But, on the other hand, it's hard to imagine that you would choose a position of passivity if your husband - the one you love - lives in sin. It will seem to someone that attempts to influence a husband are a manifestation of disobedience. But in reality this approach is biblical.
4. Submission does not mean that you should put your husband's will above the will of God.
Obedience does not mean that you should put your husband's will first, not Christ's. Christ is now your Lord. You must obey your husband FOR THE LORD'S SAKE, but your husband is not your Lord.
Thus, whenever there is a choice between the husband and the Lord, the wife must choose the Lord. If, for example, a husband offers his wife some kind of scam or group sex, her choice should be categorical - in favor of Christ. She can explain to her husband that her refusal is not motivated by arrogance. She can refuse him in the spirit of meekness, submission with love and a deep heart desire that he ... does not do all these bad things, and then she could be proud of him as a good leader in the family. Do you understand what's the matter? The wife seems to say to her husband: “I will not obey you in this. But not out of stubbornness or pride. My desire is for you to see that I really want to obey you - but not in this and not in this way.
5. Submission does not mean complete dependence on a husband for spiritual growth.
Obeying your husband does not mean receiving spiritual strength only through him. The text we are considering does not say that the husband endows his wife with spiritual strength. In doing so, it has many spiritual blessings. Her hope is in God. Perhaps she goes to church on Sunday morning when her husband is still asleep. And he draws his spiritual strength elsewhere. And in another place he forms his worldview.
6. Submission does not mean living in fear.
A wife who fears God fears nothing.
I love the Scriptures. And I am a supporter of "complementation". I believe that a man is called to a unique role: to be the leader in the family. I also believe that a woman is called to a unique role: to obey her husband. And I'm sure both of these roles complement each other wonderfully when husband and wife serve each other in love. If we dig deep into Scripture, we will see that many of its texts about marriage and the family can tremendously help us in building a marriage, although they were written in completely different times.
So, in light of everything I've written about in this article (which is not truly biblical submission of a wife to her husband), the following definition of obedience can be given: the wife is called to honor and support her husband as a leader, in order to help him in leadership. through your gifts.
Voice of Truth based on John Piper's blog Desiring God
In Baptism, as in other denominations of Protestantism, family matters are given a lot of attention. great importance. The family for Baptists is an analogue of the relationship between the church and God. Just as the Holy Spirit nourishes the members of the Baptist church, caring for their spiritual growth, so the husband should care for and influence the wife’s spiritual growth, being an example for her and a link in her personal relationship with God: “because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church" (Eph. 5:23).
By this headship is meant not only the complete obedience of the wife to her husband, but also the husband's concern for his wife, and for Baptists, the most important concern is concern for the spiritual side of life. The husband who does not cope well with the socio-economic side of the marriage union is not condemned by the members of the church, but the husband who has departed from the church does not humble his carnal desires- this is already a reason for the joint influence of the whole community on this particular person. If this happens to the wife, then the husband should have a positive influence on her, and only in exceptional cases - the community as a whole. Thus, it turns out that the main goal of the Baptist family is the joint confession of the teachings of the church, the spiritual growth of the husband, wife, children, and the strengthening of the church by its active members.
Baptist congregations pay a lot of attention to children. Baptists see children as a blessing from God. The task of parents is to educate their children in accordance with holy scripture- Bible. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this requires justice" (Eph. 6:1). And also, "And you fathers, do not provoke your children, but bring them up in the teaching and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). One way or another, Baptists pay great attention to introducing children to faith in God. Children are considered initially purer and more sinless than adults, and therefore education in the "fear of God" with early years It is considered a very good practice within the framework of the subsequent formation of the personality of a Christian.
Baptist congregations organize Sunday schools where children study the Bible in a separate room under the guidance of adults (most often mothers whose children attend this school). These women have a blessing from the pastor of the church to serve. Programs are being developed according to which children learn to be pious Christians, and children's camps are organized in the summer. Thus, in Baptist communities, every child from childhood is under vigilant attention and constant instruction in the "word of God."
If we consider the aspect of choosing a spouse, it is worth noting that Baptists do not welcome close communication between young people before marriage. For church members aged 16-20 and older, there are special youth meetings where, in addition to reading the Bible, events are held that allow young people to communicate and express their opinions. At these general meetings they can get to know each other better, and so that they can be with each other more often, the engagement should be announced at a church meeting. The couple who wish to marry are then invited to a series of meetings with the pastor of the church or his closest associates. At these meetings, the couple is prepared for marriage by reading the Bible and praying.
Weddings in Baptist churches take place after state registration of marriage. The modern form of the wedding has a traditional form, characteristic of most Christian churches. The bride and groom are asked about their consent to marriage, they exchange rings, receive the blessing of the church. Marriage must be preceded by the blessing of the parents of the bride and groom.
It is advisable to marry only a member of the Baptist church or some relatives Protestant churches. Baptists try to strictly follow this principle.
When choosing a spouse young man it is recommended to pay attention, first of all, to the spiritual beauty of the girl, to her modesty, purity, chastity. “A virtuous wife is a crown for her husband; but what is shameful is like rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4). It is especially good if the girl is engaged in some kind of ministry in the church. Approximately the same criteria are used to select a spouse. A "strong brother" (meaning the Christian's spiritual strength) would be considered a good husband.
Baptists believe that if young people "build their families on Christ" then nothing can interfere with their family happiness. Baptists perceive various kinds of misfortunes or small financial prosperity as a test sent down by God, for which they will certainly receive a reward if they humbly overcome difficulties.
It is worth noting that divorces are allowed in some Baptist churches as a last resort. On this issue, the church takes a special decision. Remarriage is also possible, but also in individual cases (usually for a widow or widower, but there are exceptions for divorced spouses).
In general, it is believed that marriage is made in heaven once in a lifetime. This is due to the fact that only in this way can purity and chastity be preserved, which is the most important Christian value.
In many churches, the use of contraceptives by spouses is considered a sin, since this, according to members of the Baptist congregations, reflects distrust of God and His plan. However, at the same time, in a number of Baptist churches, planning for childbearing is considered correct.
In general, we can conclude that the Baptist family is committed to the church people who hold tightly to each other, for whom the success of their marriage correlates with their successful spiritual life, raising their children, relying on the Bible, deeply religious and spiritual people.
