The question is all people lie what it means. What to do if a loved one constantly lies to you. Why and how girls and women lie
A person close to you constantly lies, and on trifles. Either he will say that he did not touch the jam, and there is an empty jar in the refrigerator, then he declares that he has been doing housework all day, and the sofa has not even cooled down yet ... How to respond to such a lie?
Everyone lies. People who claim to be honest at all times and in everything are arrogant liars. But it is one thing - a lie out of necessity, occasionally, in exceptional cases. And another thing is daily, petty and nasty.
Why and how girls and women lie
How different our society, our coexistence and our whole world would be if all people told the truth. Whether out of greed for profit, comfort, or conflict, lies are unfortunately a constant companion in our Everyday life. Even if you choose to stay with the truth in many areas of your life, there are still unpredictable factors behind your tribesmen's lying building. Wouldn't it be helpful to know the method by which you can expose these falsities?
Why do people lie? Find out the reasons
Then maybe some honesty will come into this world. This method is very easy to use. The approach is this: the brain makes no difference between experienced and constructed memories. However, there is an easy way to find out what's going on in your head right now: eye movements.
After all, you wouldn’t have killed a child because he ate all the dumplings, so why is he lying that, they say, a friend came and swept everything clean? Wouldn't you make a scandal to your husband, who decided to take a break after work, for what purpose does he say that he started fixing the toilet?!
Wrong reaction
Your simplest and most natural reaction at the moment when they begin to tell you such tales is to catch a liar and, with an air of offended innocence, be offended for the whole evening or even for the whole week. Let him understand how wrong he was, let him realize his guilt and beg for forgiveness! If you behave in this way, then you risk falling into a trap. You begin to play the role of an Adult (according to Eric Berne), and your interlocutor automatically puts on the role of a Child. An adult scolds and teaches - The child makes excuses and dodges. And he continues to lie.
To please the opposite sex
Pay special attention to the eyes, how and where they move. Your colleague's eyes will move in tiny directions in every direction. If you want to know more precisely which direction is connected to what, you can even find out by smart questions when the eyes are moving there.
An example of such a question is: “Describe your life situation". You will learn that your colleague will describe pictures, sounds or feelings, whatever is stored in his head. If you mostly ask the questions that the pictures evoke with him, you will also find out that your colleague's eyes often move up. So: pictures in the head - eyes up.
Even worse is that by constantly accusing a relative or friend of a lie, you become a victim, and there is nothing good in it. You get used to being the injured party, complaining that you feel bad, you are being deceived, you are not respected - and further down the list. Relations from this do not improve at all.
Why is he doing this?
Think instead why close person behaves like this? Perhaps his petty lies are to blame ... you yourself?
After all, a lie is a defensive reaction to an aggressive, alien society. And here is the question for you: why are you perceived as an aggressor? It turns out that they do not trust you because if they tell the truth (in principle, not terrible), a loved one is afraid:
However, it is much more accurate. This is a very important perception. You might assume that the lie is based on constructed images and therefore close to a razor-sharp one when your colleague constructs their images in the brain because the eyes often move to the upper left. Exist professional methods masking eye movements, but that's another matter. It is very interesting for me to closely observe my colleague and draw conclusions from my observations about his internal processing.
Incidentally, eye movements are "subconscious habit patterns" which, as the name suggests, are controlled by the subconscious mind - and therefore cannot be easily controlled. Here it’s just like this: when the eyes wander to the side, we are talking about sounds, that is, about what a person discusses with himself or recalls sounds. Going by the eyes, it's all about feelings of all kinds.
“That you won’t understand him.
- That you won't hear him.
- That you will punish him, and seriously.
“That you will stubbornly insist that he do what he terribly does not want to do.
It turns out that you, who from the outside seem to be the victim of a liar, are in fact a tyrant and a dictator. That you are an insensitive person, not understanding, and not trying to understand anything. All this is unpleasant, isn't it?
Follow questionable statements with questions from the meta model
It has a lot to do with it, doesn't it? Surely you have already told a lie. If you remember, you certainly know that it is not easy to develop a consistent design from "nothing". There are contradictions and inconsistencies. You can use this to quickly expose false buildings.
Speaking is a relatively slow process. Therefore, your unconscious needs to reduce the information received. This happens through different processes. The downside is that the conversation is always missing information as they were previously deleted. With a few simple questions, if you need deleted information, you can reactivate it with your colleague. You can also use this model as a lie detector. One question in particular will help you. You might assume that these processes are only vaguely described when it comes to lying.
How to respond to petty lies?
But no way. Pretend you didn't notice her. We assure you that the liar suffers even more than you do because of her lies. After all, in order to deceive, you have to strain, act, watch your facial expressions and eyes, but just try not to blush!
However, pretending that you did not notice the lies, think about this: what quality in you made the interlocutor lie? We offer options:
Hypnotic Disequilibrium Amplifier
Pay close attention to inconsistencies and keep asking. For me, however, it is a reality that has shaped my life. It is not so easy to describe in words the perception of reality in this world and may seem a little strange to you. However, if you are out of your body, in the non-physical realms, it's hard to say something like, "Hello my guide, I have a question." Where there is no body, no mouth, no vocal cords, no language. This requires non-verbal communication. Robert Monroe taught me the basics.
He lied that he didn’t go out with that nasty Mitka - I didn’t want you to criticize his friends again.
He lied that he didn’t eat cutlets - I didn’t want you to accuse him of gluttony again, because the cutlets are so tasty!
He lied that he tried to fix the phone - Didn't want you to call him armless again.
Already from these examples, you probably understood: if they lie to you, you should change. Trust your loved one more. Do not criticize aggressively. Believe in his strength and mind. If you try to carry out such inner work, perhaps in half a year you will hear from your child something like: “Remember, I told you about jam? So: I ate it myself!” These words will mean that you have finally won the trust of your close and dear person.
Essentially, non-verbal communication is about framing your question clearly in your mind and projecting it energetically onto your partner. It sounds pretty crazy, but it's a very "normal" process. Response prompts, but also non-verbal. How can you imagine the answer? The answer is felt in your head, like the idea you just had. At the beginning it seems that you didn't get any response, it's as if the answer was always "in you" and has just been activated right now.
Why do men lie to women
You may not believe it, but these ideas have led to a very strange false lie representing my infallible method of lying. Lying would be meaningless, because the scope of lying is based on the fact that the other person does not know about the other, what is going on in the head of your colleague.
Daily. One of the most popular questions is “Why do people lie?”. Indeed, if you think about it, each of us lies, and every day, even the most honest and fair ..
Beautiful lies sometimes help move mountains, writes myjane. What compels people to resort to such a dubious method of psychological influence?
Maybe you want to imagine yourself flashing a neon sign, blue or red, with the words "beware of possible lies", maybe a horn will sound in your head, a bell or similar anchor will ring. From here you get various benefits. First, you will be more attentive to your conversation partners. Second, you will learn more about other people's inner workings. Third, you often detect lies. Fourth, you are signaling to your environment that there is no purpose with you.
However, if you are ready for the truth around you, you must decide for yourself. Neo, at least in The Matrix The Practice movie. We all do it and we don't like it when others do it. According to the current state of science, we lie about 200 times a day. At the very least, this is probably the most quoted number in the media.
Peace of family and friends
Hiding the truth for the sake of the peace of mind of relatives or friends is considered somewhat noble. Bringing bad news is always difficult. How to tell a relative that he has an incurable disease, or tell a friend that her husband is cheating on her? It is better to lie and shift this burden onto the shoulders of someone else ...
Nobody knows for sure where she comes from. Often referred to as an American psychologist by the name of John Fraser, Frazier or Frazier. If you're looking for it, you won't find any. scientific work by lies. Is it possible that this number is just a lie? However, serious studies show that the average person lies about twice a day. Whether it's two or 200, it ultimately depends on which situations are lying. When it comes to really important discussions like negotiations or job interviews, it's important to recognize when the other person is lying.
So you'll manage to find the truth
Our body shows reactions under the control of the subconscious. For example, mentalists use this unconscious behavior to find items that are hidden from the audience. So, if you pay attention to how your colleague reacts, you can learn a lot about him and thereby also recognize the lie.
This coin has two sides. On the one hand, you will really avoid conflict and will not become a messenger of trouble. On the other hand, how long can you pretend? There is no guarantee that when your girlfriend finds out that her husband betrayed her, and you were aware of this, she will understand and forgive everything. However, the truth will not be a guarantee of preservation either. good relations. Having opened the eyes of a friend to her other half, you will still remain a stranger who unceremoniously climbed into the family. Darlings scold - they only amuse themselves. Tomorrow they will reconcile, and you will turn into the worst enemy.
There are many articles that make great promises when it comes to understanding lies. If you take a closer look at the lie, you will quickly realize that it doesn't work. A particularly good sign of a lie is a behavioral change in the interlocutor. Watch him while talking. In what position is he sitting or standing in front of you? What typical behavior do you recognize? Is it more open or closed? Does he use many or few gestures?
Pay attention to contradictions
Take as many impressions as you can and notice changes in this normal behavior as they are true clues to lie. The more changes, the more likely it is that they can be lied to. Often it is the contradictions between the "what" and "how" that tell us the truth about the statement. If there is a contradiction between verbal and non-verbal behavior, distrust is indicated. For example, if the other person is clearly nodding in the affirmative while at the same time expressing themselves in an unacknowledged or negative way.
Own interests
We are all a little selfish. Therefore, the most common reason for lying is self-defense. Such a lie can be called instinctive - most often it is justified with phrases like "it happened." The child denies that he broke the sugar bowl because he is afraid of punishment. The subordinate deceives the boss, assuring him that the annual report is ready, because otherwise he will be fired from his job.
Or vice versa: he says "yes" and subtly shakes his head. Even while covering your mouth and eyes, you must be careful about the truth of what you have said. When someone puts a hand on his mouth when answering a question, he usually wants to protect himself. Even an unconscious clutch on an earlobe or nose can indicate that it is being seeded or even being lied to. If someone clears their throat before answering a question or swallowing, it could be a sign that things are not right.
However, in order to distinguish between truth and lies, it is important for you to know whether these gestures represent tics that your colleagues perform on a daily basis or signs of discomfort. The latter again gives you an indication of a lie. Let's continue: one sign alone is not enough to judge whether they are rotating. Pay attention to everything your co-worker does and compare their reactions to observed normal behavior. If then several tips come together in a timely manner, you should be suspicious and ask specifically.
The worst case scenario: saving himself, a person denigrates the innocent. Of course, the second you're backed up against the wall, you don't think much about someone else's well-being. Your goal is to quickly get rid of suspicions and regain your good name. By doing this more than once, you risk losing the favor of others forever.
Traitors deserve special attention. If spontaneous betrayal can still be explained, then the behavior of a chronic womanizer-liar is bewildering. A free-loving person should stop hurting his wife and walk away, not lie about sudden business trips and regular deadlines.
To deny the truth is not only a tradition in Russia, but also part of the social contract. This is another reason why the West is so helpless in the Ukrainian conflict. As children, we have all read the book Gelsomino in the Land of Liars by the Italian Gianni Rodari. In it, a boy comes to a land that has been taken over by a pirate gang, who now makes everyone lie. Cats are ordered to bark to meow dogs. "Bread" should be called "ink". Only counterfeit money is in circulation, and residents report the most important news to the newspaper "Model Liar".
Low self-esteem
Complexes sometimes become the reason for lies. The girl, whose classmates make fun of her plumpness, tries to stop ridicule with stories about crowds of fans. A guy who never manages to get a high-paying job constantly complains about the excessive demands of employers and the lack of necessary connections. No one wants to admit to helplessness or unattractiveness. Not everyone can overpower themselves and engage in self-improvement. It is much easier to lie, trying to rise in the eyes of others.
Of course, the children liked the absurdity of this situation. However, for adults, the secret to the incredible success of this book was that they understood exactly in which country it was really written. As the children grew older, they also quickly realized that they live in this country.
The newspapers lied, the television, the teachers. The state deceived its citizens, the citizens deceived the state. Thus, the rules are clear to everyone. From kindergarten we are used to it. On TV, they happily announced the fulfillment of the five-year plans, but the shelves in the stores were constantly emptied, and the lines in front of them were larger. We lived in a land where socialism triumphed, where according to the law everything belonged to the people, but in reality the people had nothing. In fact, no one had anything.
For the red word
It's only in the series that office intrigues boil all day long and husbands behave like fairy-tale princes. In reality, most of us live a home-work-home lifestyle, with occasional breaks to go shopping, to the movies, or to restaurants. So it turns out that during telephone conversation with a friend and there is nothing to talk about. The desire to slightly embellish your story is the most harmless lie in the world.
Catastrophes happened only in the west
We lived in this extraordinary land of slaves, all of whom belonged to the system. Those who led us were simply the biggest slaves. Nobody was responsible for their country. Collective farm slaves were expropriated, and they didn't care if the crop grew or not. The slave workers drank and their bosses sent fake bills to the ministry. The ruling slaves received these perverted lies as real results.
For decades, own and strange people were dumbfounded, and no one objected that no one believed in the other. Under the false "call of a group of comrades" he invaded Czechoslovakia. It was false that they invited us to Afghanistan. It was deceived when football or hockey teams were killed in football disasters, because such disasters happened there in the West. The whole world was stunned when the South Korean plane was shot down.
Why does a person exaggerate, retelling the events that happened to him? So that his story was interesting for the interlocutor, and did not cause yawning. Such a lie cannot be called self-serving - after all, you do not aim to extract any benefit. 80% of people regularly supplement their narrative with fictional details. Only every twentieth lies just like that, out of love for "art".
To please the opposite sex
Psychologists call this phenomenon the “first date lie.” No matter how much you like to tell the truth, during the candy-bouquet period, you are unlikely to resist the temptation to lie about the number of former partners, school successes and earnings. Hiding an overly turbulent personal life makes you afraid of seeming loose. It’s better for a new acquaintance not to know that in the fifth grade all the teachers affectionately called you “pampushka”. By adding ten to fifteen thousand to your salary, you emphasize your importance to colleagues and superiors.
There is only one "but" - keep in mind that your newly-made boyfriend is also not without sin. He tries to impress as much as you do. Do not be surprised when it turns out that the brand new foreign car was actually released in 1991, and " ex girlfriend, nothing serious ”- the official wife.
Whether a person lies or not depends on the situation and his personal characteristics (of course, if he is not a pathological liar). To prevent lying from becoming a bad habit, strictly dose it. best friends in this you will become a conscience and a sober mind. Analyze the consequences of every untruth you tell so that you are prepared to take responsibility for it.
