What can I do to make my husband love me again? To make your husband fall in love with you again. How to win your husband back

A couple of years ago, complete harmony reigned in your family, and now you are barking like dogs - what happened? Probably one of you fell out of love. And if you think that this is a spouse, you probably want to know how to make your wife love you again, bring back her feelings. To force her to love against her will, alas, is hardly possible, but to awaken love in her is what needs to be achieved.

touch each other more often

During romantic meetings under the moonlight and dinners by candlelight, that is, while you and your beloved were just dating, you almost constantly touched each other, but what now? Over the years, alas, touches become less and less, and this is often one of the reasons for the weakening of feelings. Physical contact should be established - hugging each other more often, gently touching the hand, stroking the neck, cheeks and other places, kissing, even without a tongue and on the cheek. By the way, chaste kisses can be no less sensual and pleasant than French kisses.

Communication

Over time, soulfulness, and not just romance, also leaves the relationship. Sincerity will help you keep the conversations. Communicate alone with your wife more often, about everything that is interesting to both of you (future plans, interests, friends, and so on), fantasize together, dream. And if something does not suit you, tell your beloved right away, everything is as it is. It is better to release negative from oneself periodically, but in doses, in small portions, than to splash it out very rarely, but in a whole wave.

Present

To reawaken love in a spouse, don't forget the gifts too.. Give them more often, for no reason, so that each of these gifts, even small ones, is also a pleasant surprise.. After all, it is one thing when a man gives a woman, for example, a bouquet of flowers on March 8, because this women's holiday, and another - when he presents her with flowers on the most ordinary day, without any reminders.

Praises

Compliments and praise are important for both men and women. More often say words of encouragement to your beloved for what she does around the house, praise her talents, admire achievements and successes, no matter in what field. The wife must understand that you respect her work, her abilities, and also understand how much she does for you and for the family as a whole.

Help must be mutual.

Help your beloved wife in household, work and other matters and do not ask for anything in return. Your help should be selfless y - then you wife will help with even greater pleasure and zeal.

Many people want to know how to teach a husband to show his tender feelings for his wife. Here are some simple rules or tips for a wife on how to make her husband love himself:

1. Truly love him. A man will want to connect his life with the one who will love him, regardless of financial and social status.

2. Always stay sexy. It is impossible to make a husband love his wife if you do not arouse in him a constant desire and kindle a spark. Clever woman knows that if a man wants her, even after a hard day at work, then she is already halfway to success.

3. Be independent. Do not hang on the neck of your loved one, try to be independent and self-confident. You want to conquer such women, next to such women you feel like a real man.

4. Honor to the hostess. No matter how a woman defends her rights to a place not only in the kitchen, it is still wonderful when she knows how to cook well and create comfort in the house. A man will certainly want to return to where he is pleased to be. A well-fed and satisfied man does not seek happiness on the side.

5. General hobby. You can play backgammon, chess, computer games together, take a great interest in football, surf, ice-skating, go cycling, be a member of a car club, dance tango and waltz. The world is so beautiful and diverse that you can always find something that will captivate you and your partner and help you understand how to find mutual understanding with your husband.

6. Laughter brings you closer. A great sense of humor is highly appreciated by both men and women. If you are on the same wavelength, then you will always be easy and fun with each other.

But what if the husband fell out of love with his wife? The situation is difficult, but not tragic. You can try to figure everything out and change something.

  • To understand the reason for the cooling is to take a step towards success. Analyze your behavior and events that took place during Lately. Maybe it was you who pushed your husband to shut up and cool off towards you. Look at yourself through his eyes and try to become the girl he once loved without memory.
  • Go on a romantic trip. Take all the hassle on yourself, pull your loved one out of the everyday hustle and bustle, give him the opportunity to enjoy the rest and you, so beautiful and caring.
  • Do not skimp on praise and warm words, do not scold him and do not make scenes. All these debriefings play against you, but the comfort and harmony in the house attract men.
  • Work on your image, surprise your husband with a new look, revealing outfits, grooming and sexuality. Maybe, behind all the household chores, he just stopped seeing you as a woman.

Saving a relationship is worth it if you are firmly convinced that this man deserves it. Sometimes horses are changed at the crossing, contrary to all the sayings and sayings. Therefore, take a rest, relax, please yourself, and then, having changed externally and spiritually, make a decision and go for it!

Man's manifestations of disrespect for his wife can be different: he drinks often, raises his hand, can send a foul language, does not give money for the maintenance of a small child. In most cases, it is impossible to force a person who behaves inappropriately to listen to the reasonable advice of his wife. Such men - indifferent, selfish and often even family tyrants, who enjoy the suffering of their victims, can control their "ardor" and "temper" only under the regular supervision of a psychologist. For you, as the wife of a person who does not value and respect her, it is important to understand the reasons for what is happening and, most importantly, to find a worthy way out of the situation with minimal losses for yourself and your children, if you have any.

Why does a husband disrespect his wife?

Similar explanations of a man’s disrespectful behavior towards a woman are common in society: “broke it up”, “she provoked it”, “stopped looking after herself after marriage / childbirth”, “saw him for no reason” and similar standard phrases - excuses. First of all, you must remember that extreme manifestations of disrespect in the form of beatings and insults cannot be inherent in a normal man, even if the wife is wrong in some way. An adequate husband, if he believes that his wife is behaving incorrectly, should look for ways of dialogue or leave and file for divorce, even if his wife really "provokes" him.

In most cases, a man ceases to appreciate his wife after marriage, after the birth of the first or subsequent children. Moreover, the humiliated wives note that before the turning points in his personal life, he was a romantic, a good boy: he gave flowers, invited him to excellent restaurants, "carried him in his arms."

Most likely, no change occurred: the husband was originally like that, he simply did not demonstrate all the facets of his character, he hid it or the case did not present itself. You need to be a subtle psychologist and notice all the nuances in order to figure out a well-disguised egoist and despot already at the dating stage.

Causes of the moral tyranny of a husband to his wife

The reasons for moral tyranny in relation to the wife can be:

undereducation

Brought up in the tradition of a "maid woman" and a second-class creature, everything a man should and is obliged to: cook, wash, take care of children, always look cool and at the same time have time to work in order to develop professionally and the man had something to talk about with her except for diapers, even if the joint child is barely a month old. He believes that a woman who does not do all this according to the list should not be respected: she is a bad mother, a bad wife. That is, in such a husband, egocentrism and selfishness are laid down by family rules that existed in the house of his parents.

Hidden complexes

The complex of male inferiority, the complex of the once wounded pride make him assert himself, humiliating his wife. Perhaps his friends have more "manhood", perhaps the authorities run into him, but he cannot say a word to either his friends or his boss. raised tone, therefore, comes off on his wife. This is a weak-willed person, very dependent on someone else's opinion and easily amenable to someone else's influence.

Moral trauma of childhood

Your husband's subconscious may have imprinted his father's behavior in beating, insulting, or otherwise humiliating his mother. The situation is more deplorable if the mother at the same time forgave and endured everything, so your husband had an incorrect picture of "ideal" family relationships in his head. Maybe he was humiliated or insulted as a child by older friends, peers, or he was subjected to another form of moral and even physical abuse. Most likely, had it not been for the terrible incidents of childhood, he would have grown up as a worthy person, but in this case the situation is difficult to correct only with the help of conversations and the desire to "not provoke" - a psychologist is needed here. Such a husband, by humiliating his wife, shows his importance and tries to recoup on a weak or financially dependent being, acting as a strong one.

In all three of the above cases, you are unlikely to cope alone if you want to re-educate him. This requires regular consultations with a psychologist in an individual and family format. The psychologist will understand the underlying causes of an acute moral crisis and indicate ways out of it, you will work on the situation together.

It is important that the desire to go for a consultation is mutual. If the husband is categorically against it, it will not work to force him to respect and appreciate you.



Can a tyrannical husband learn to respect his wife?

  • Alcoholism and drug addiction. This requires the work of not only a psychiatrist in a hospital, but also doctors. And in order to protect yourself from such a tyrant husband, you need to write a statement about him to the police or the prosecutor's office, having prepared the ground for leaving and the "alternate airfield" in advance. Remember that in a showdown with a tyrant husband, an inadequate being and ready for any baseness, it is useless to seek support by calling psychological help phones. It's only 02, no options.
  • Schizophrenia, delirium tremens and other psychological illnesses and disorders. The same as for alcoholism - you can’t cope on your own, no matter how much you exhort. Moreover, it is impossible to achieve a complete correction of behavior even in a hospital: the disease can be drowned out only for a while, so the surest thing is to pack your bags and run.

If you feel sorry for such a husband and you think that he is a part of your life, then help at a distance, but save your children from living with a mentally ill person under one roof.

Do you want your husband to respect you

Husbands who do not have respect for a woman often choose girls with low self-esteem as wives, who are afraid to make decisions on their own, who want to be behind their husband, like behind a stone wall, and expect him to decide everything for them. Before seeking respect from a husband who does not put you in anything, answer the following questions for yourself:

  • Maybe you should not try to remake your husband, but you need to leave and find a person who will appreciate you? It is unlikely that scandals and beatings will allow you to raise children as mentally normal people and form an adequate picture of the world in them, instill in them high moral values. Think about what is deposited in the fragile minds of kids, do you really want them, having matured, to repeat the fate of their mother - a victim or a despot - father?
  • Are you sure you don't enjoy being the victim of disrespect? Yes, such a subconscious motive is also quite likely, although most despot wives will desperately refuse to admit it to themselves. Perhaps your mother has been a victim of domestic violence all her life, and "humility", "forgiveness" and "women's share" have been "inherited" to you. You experience pleasure when you are humiliated or perceive the humiliation of a woman as the norm, as a way to show virtues: humility and the ability to forgive a tyrant husband again and again. Therefore, there is no guarantee that, having left one despot husband, you will not find yourself a second one of the same kind.
  • There is another hidden motive that prevents you from packing your bags and slamming the door - laziness. But laziness is not in work: you are not afraid of household duties. Perhaps you are too lazy to make decisions for yourself, because your parents used to do it for you, now your husband. Therefore, you don’t leave, because it’s so convenient for you, it’s easier to be a victim of disrespect: either your husband didn’t give you money, or he insulted you in front of everyone, or you “forgot” to return home in the evening. And the subconscious mind tells you: "Well, what's wrong, but he earns, pays the bills, makes all the vital decisions for the two of you, and if you live alone, then you will have to think about all this yourself."

7 ways to make a husband respect his wife

If you still decide that it is worth being with a person who is on this stage your relationship does not respect you, if you decide to try to build a harmonious union with him again, then try to apply the tips below. But first, think about whether you want to break yourself in order to seem sweet, beautiful and happy with a husband who does not put you in anything:

  • Change yourself. Try to always look 100% for him. Create the image of a "dream wife": she never gets tired, she does everything at home, with a child and is ready to play passion in bed.


  • Change your relationship with your husband. Do not criticize, do not cross, do not interfere with his mistakes, blunders, do not accuse him of anything, do not tell him about your problems, about the problems of children, about what is difficult for you. Do not stop him, even if he collects the fifth credit in your name. Of course, if you decide to follow this principle of behavior, consider that you are no longer there. But it's your decision, isn't it? But the "husband" will begin to "respect" you ..
  • Talk to a loved one who is an authority for her husband: his mother, father, sister, brother. Perhaps they will have a "preventive" conversation with him about behavior. But it’s not a fact that after that you won’t start to enrage him more, annoy him and he won’t take out his anger on you even more. In addition, relatives often take such people for granted. The mother-in-law can say: "Yes, he is like that, I understand you, it's hard ...". He sympathizes, but does nothing. Most likely, she is soft and weak-willed by nature, also "crushed" by her despot and boor husband, and perceives the "women's lot" as a normal phenomenon. Don't forget, she raised your husband!
  • Talk to your husband directly, express in a calm manner everything that does not suit you in his behavior. Be ready to receive in response a lot of unpleasant phrases and a summary that you yourself do not really suit him. Probably, the conversation will end with a decision to divorce.
  • Roll up a scandal to your husband in "hot pursuit", and it does not matter if you will be alone at this moment or with strangers. Say that you will not allow him to treat and talk to you like that, show resentment, do not forgive him quickly. Maybe he will draw conclusions and moderate the attacks against you.
  • Go live with your mom, sister, or close friend for a few days or more. Let him stay alone, think about what he has done, let him return with sweets, bouquets and promises that such things will not happen again in your address. Let him know that one more time and he won't see you again.
  • Become self-sufficient: good job, housing. Yes, it is difficult, especially with small children. Ask your mom or sister to help you with the baby. You will say that you are ashamed to ask your mother for help, but think: it is better to depend on your mother in some way and be obliged to her than to endure the antics of a husband who does not respect you, to depend on him and be afraid that he will spoil the psyche of the child. Having become a successful business woman, you yourself will surely understand that you no longer need respect from him, like him.

When the first ones pass years family life , many wives begin to notice that their husbands are somewhat cool towards them. They are already hardly able to lure them to dinner, and in the evening, instead of a family conversation, the husband sits down to watch TV or searches for something on the Internet. It is unlikely that this can be easily reconciled.

Don't expect much from a man

Men, unfortunately arranged so that they absolutely do not want to try for the sake of a relationship. They may be happy to meet your idea to go for a weekend with an overnight stay in the country, but they themselves are almost unable to offer something romantic. Therefore, you should not be especially offended by their lack of initiative, but come up with something yourself. Remember that you set the rules of the game, and he only accepts them. His attitude towards you will be a response to your behavior.

So if you become open demand so that he gives you flowers, in response, most likely, not the most pleasant reaction on his part will follow. Men generally do not like being reproached for something, asking for something, especially for attention. Hints they, too, unfortunately, often simply do not understand. So, you need to act differently.

Behavior

If you want to husband was more attentive to you, gave you flowers more often and took you to a cafe, change your behavior. Spend more time on your appearance- get a haircut, start to follow the figure, buy new clothes. Bring something new to your intimate relationship. In a word, try on a new image of a woman unknown to him, who flirts with him and whom he wants to win.

Even at home, wear not only comfortable, but also beautiful clothes, if necessary, make light and never let your husband see you with masks on your face or in curlers. Even if he is at home, while you need to do cosmetic procedures, do them in the bathroom.

try less often" to nag"husband for not taking out the trash and peeling the potatoes. Just calmly ask him to do what he had to do. And in general, always be in good mood. In addition to everyday problems, there is another life.

Find for yourself hobby and at least a couple of times a week devote time to it. Find also like-minded people. Read more. Reading will allow you to develop the talent of the interlocutor and give you new food for thought.
Don't just focus on family- although this is the main thing for a woman, but if you are fixated only on this, very soon you will feel tired.

stop everything tell about yourself and your experiences and deeds during the day. Let him be the first to want to know how your day went. Sometimes you can stay late after work and go to a cafe with friends without warning your husband about where and with whom you will go. Let there be an element of mystery in your behavior. Let the husband know that even though you are his wife, you need to fight for your disposition and love.

If your husband indifferent to household chores, you do not need to constantly scold him for this. Such measures will only further discourage him from doing something around the house. It is better to start gradually loading him with responsibilities. To begin with, let him throw out the garbage, then he can vacuum and go for groceries. And finally, let him cook something for dinner, at least boil potatoes or pasta.

many women face with a similar problem only because they initially protect a man from domestic duties. This is appropriate if you are a housewife, but if two people work, then let the husband do the smaller part of the work.

Call him often wish take care of you. It's raining outside, and you - without an umbrella - let him meet you with a car. You need to go for groceries, but you are afraid that you will not carry the packages - let them help you, etc. Pretend, then and would be happy not to bother him and try to cope on your own, but for you it is difficult.

Change your attitude towards him

Caring for your husband- it's good, but don't be too zealous. Many husbands find this annoying. He himself can perfectly wash shoes and put money on his phone.

Not worth it either exercise their feelings - the husband can simply choke on them. Let him want you to show them. Start writing him tender texts less often and calling him to find out if he had breakfast? Let him worry about you.

Become for him woman, which he would like to patronize, and not the second mother. Believe me, only next to such a woman will he feel like a real man.

All couples at the initial stage of their relationship experienced a wonderful feeling - love. It was this feeling that motivated them to create a family. But after the ring was put on the ring finger, something changed, the feelings became not as bright as before. This is a standard situation for many families. And it is not clear what happened, why there is no love now, and what to do next. But if there is a desire to save the marriage, then this is possible, and the man has every chance to make his wife love him.

Manifestation of love

As practice shows, women need constant expression of feelings from their husband. So the first way to make a wife love her husband is to express her love for her. It is necessary not only to tell her everything that she wants to hear, but also to let her feel it. Very often, everyday life is the cause of the extinction of feelings. When a couple meets, they try to saturate their relationship with romance, for this they arrange dates, take walks under the moon, and make spontaneous gifts to each other. After the wedding, all this disappears, since the partner has already been conquered, and there is no need to strive to surprise each other. This is a gross mistake. Therefore, for a wife to love her husband, he must not forget about romance in a relationship. The wife will be pleased if the husband, returning from work, buys her flowers, or cooks a delicious dinner on the weekend. These are all trifles, but they can help return love to the family and restore the wife's disposition.

Responsibility

In addition to romance, a woman wants to feel secure. She likes it when a husband is capable of taking decisive steps and is ready to take responsibility for his actions. For a wife to love her husband, he must show her that she can feel secure with him. Yes, yes, no one has canceled that very “stone wall”. A husband should be responsible not only for himself, but also for his family, this is what deserves respect and, accordingly, love.

Appreciate your wife

If a husband wonders why his wife does not love me, then, probably, his wife made this clear to him. Most often, feelings fade away when one of the spouses, in this case the husband, takes everything in the family for granted. He stops admiring his wife, praising her, he can shout, because he knows that she will not go anywhere from him. And women really need compliments and good treatment of themselves, and if this is not there, then gradually the feelings go out.

Notice your wife

IN Everyday life due to hustle, work, children, relatives and errands, women often feel neglected, and many of their hard efforts to save the family go unnoticed. Women are such simple creatures that even one compliment can make them happy for the whole day, and they feel great just because they are noticed and appreciated. Therefore, the husband should appreciate his wife and her work. You can praise her for cooking excellent food, getting up early, keeping the house clean and, most importantly, you must first of all tell your wife that she is beautiful and attractive. Sometimes, the wife says that she does not love, but as a rule, this is said out of annoyance and resentment towards her husband.

To be strong

The husband must show his strength to his wife. This is what women want to see. The husband must provide moral support to his wife when she needs it. A wife should know that her husband will always be by her side. Then the woman will not have to be strong forced and will not have to "give up" feelings. Because what kind of love can we talk about if a woman should take on all the responsibility for making decisions regarding the family?!

Be loyal

Husbands are interested in how to know if a wife loves or not. But for this you do not need to conduct any tests, everything can be seen from the behavior of the spouse. If she hugs, kisses, escorts to work, then all these are signs of her love for her husband. For this attitude to continue further, you just need to do everything that is described above. And do not forget that if a woman is already married, it means that there were feelings, that is, they can always be returned!

The psychology of marriage