Funny Jokes Stories Quotes Aphorisms Rhymes Pictures funny games

If you dreamed that you had a son-in-law, in reality this portends some kind of major event with the participation of all household members. If you see yourself in a dream talking to your son-in-law, in reality this means that on your life path there will be a person whom you would not like to see.

By the way, the well-known Russian church figure Filaret, Metropolitan of Moscow (1782 - 1867), found out about the day of his death in a dream. One night the Metropolitan had a dream of his late father, who said to Filaret the following words: "Remember the nineteenth." The Metropolitan spoke in the morning about his unusual dream other people. However, only three months after the dream, the meaning of the words spoken to the Metropolitan by his late father became clear. It was on that day (the nineteenth), which was named Filaret, that the Metropolitan died suddenly.

Interpretation of dreams from Dream Interpretation for Women

Dream Interpretation - Mother-in-law

If you dreamed of a mother-in-law, the day will be unsuccessful.

Trouble awaits you due to your own causeless anger and bad luck in all matters.

In addition, you can get into a ridiculous position.

For a woman, a dream that she is a mother-in-law is good luck (if she likes her own son-in-law in a dream).

If in a dream they have some kind of complicated relationship, family feuds are coming in reality.

Interpretation of dreams from

The mother-in-law calls her son-in-law, gives him a bundle of money and says:
- I don't know how you will do it, but I want to be buried in the Kremlin wall!
The brother-in-law disappears for several days. He returns unshaven, with red eyes, and says:
- Don't ask me how I did it, but they said it would be ready tomorrow afternoon.


The woman loved her sons-in-law very much


One day she saw the elder,
She cried out: “Save me!” And she fell into the river.




And when he saw the inscription, he fell out of bed:

The son-in-law, having learned about this event,


Seeing him, the mother-in-law fell into the river.
The son-in-law of the middle on the "Volga" in great hope,

And the middle one does not sleep all night from excitement
The next morning he looks - "Zaporozhets" is standing.

But the inscription is still the same: "From a loving mother-in-law."

And the mother-in-law, as usual, is a mermaid in the river
Save! - shouts, - help!
Tonu! And son-in-law: - Well, Tony!
I don't need a motorcycle.
The mother-in-law looked at her son-in-law for the last time,
And son-in-law, if only henna! And she drowned...
The younger son-in-law trudged home through the forest,
Suddenly he sees: - there is a Mercedes at the house.
It's worth it to God! Fall in place!
And the inscription: "To my beloved son-in-law, from my father-in-law!"

In the kitchen, the mother-in-law cooks dumplings. A little kitten comes up to her and asks her for meat:
- Meow meow!
The mother-in-law pushes him away with her foot:
- Get off!
The kitten comes up again and asks for meat:
- Meow meow!
The mother-in-law again shoves him with her foot:
- Get out!
He comes up again and asks for meat:
- Meow meow!
The mother-in-law again, angry, kicks him with his foot. My son-in-law enters the kitchen. Mother-in-law:
- Sit down, beloved son-in-law, I cooked dumplings for you!
The son-in-law sits down at the table, the mother-in-law puts dumplings on him. A kitten comes up to the son-in-law and asks for dumplings with his paw:
- Meow meow!
Son-in-law:
- On, my good, eat dumplings!
The kitten joyfully eats the dumpling and falls dead on the floor. Mother-in-law:
- Oh you.....! Would you like to poison me?!!! - And as soon as the mother-in-law gives it, she flew off into a corner.
Here is a kitten, opening one eye:
- Yes!!!

Mother-in-law and son-in-law are having lunch.
The son-in-law eats lean soup, and the mother-in-law makes good
Ukrainian borscht with dumplings, ribs, sour cream
and other joys. Here, as a sin, mother-in-law chokes
another piece of meat.
Mother-in-law (to son-in-law):
- Clap...
Son-in-law (claps his hands):
Bravo mom...
mother-in-law

They gave me a dog. Bitch. Named Mother-in-law.
I train in the yard. The men from the house hang in the windows and envy.
Mother-in-law, sit! Mother-in-law, stop! Mother-in-law, wow! Mother-in-law voice!
Neighbors at the entrance at the meeting use the command "Mother-in-law, give me money."
Gives a paw.
The wife does not approve, the mother-in-law is far away, she does not tell her. Promises to get a dog and
name Kostya (that's my name). I think that only the thought of
Kostya's inevitable encroachments on her mother-in-law.
Family life has become more fun. I share the recipe.

The woman had three married daughters,
The woman loved her sons-in-law very much.
But still she wanted to know
And who is the most devoted son-in-law of them?
One day she saw the elder,
She screamed: - Save! And fell into the river.
The elder son-in-law did not think for a long time,
He dived bravely and got his mother-in-law.
He could not fall asleep for a long time,
And in the morning he looks: outside the Volga gate.
And when he saw the inscription, he fell off the bed:
"Gift from mother-in-law to beloved son-in-law"!
The son-in-law, having learned about this event,
I rushed to the river literally at dawn.
And the same thing happened to him
Seeing him, the mother-in-law fell into the river.
The son-in-law is average for the Volga in great hope,
I dived for my mother-in-law in boots and clothes.
And the middle one does not sleep all night from excitement.
The next morning he looks - "Zaporozhets" is standing.
Of course, the car is a little simpler,
But the inscription is still the same: "From a loving mother-in-law.
Here the youngest was going just for fishing,
And the mother-in-law, as usual, is a mermaid in the river.
Save! - shouts, - help!
Tonu! And son-in-law: - Well, Tony!
I don't need a motorcycle.
The mother-in-law looked at the son-in-law for the last time, And the son-in-law, at least henna! And she drowned ... The younger son-in-law trudged home through the forest, Suddenly he sees: - there is a Mercedes at the house. By God, it’s worth it!

Mother-in-law came to visit friends. Lived a couple of weeks, with grandchildren
I talked, my daughter took her shopping. All free time
I did a crossword puzzle but didn't finish it. When she left
the magazine with the crossword remained lying by the TV. In the evening,
after seeing her off, the son-in-law found the magazine and decided to finish
started by mother-in-law.
He dealt with him quite cheerfully - but suddenly he realized that some
he can’t enter the word - the letters already available interfered. Decided
check - and found: a 5-letter word, "a person who refused the benefits
Civilization". In the right cells stood: "idiot."

My aunt walks with her one and a half year old granddaughter Masha, the child of her daughter from her second marriage, and meets her former son-in-law. He also walks his one and a half year old daughter from his second marriage, Katya. The age difference is literally a few days. We stopped to chat.
Auntie (T) - Hello, Sergey! Oh, how Katenka looks like you! Did you start talking?
Former son-in-law begins to brag:
-Yes! Already says "dad", "mother", the other day she said "Baba"!
Auntie (politely):
- Oh, what a smart girl!
And then our Mashenka, sitting in a wheelchair, gives out:
- Granny, let's go home, otherwise I'm completely cold!
Former son-in-law drove off shamed!

This weekend my wife and I were visiting my father-in-law with my mother-in-law. And with them also
the wife's grandmother lives (mother-in-law). She is already 67, but the grandmother is strong, with
great sense of humor, smokes, cooks, cleans, grandson to school
drives ... Well, what did you want - thirty years as the director of a bread store
working in Tashkent is not a joke.

So. They sit in front of the TV. Some Russian channel seems to
the music is there - and Philya Kirkorov pops up on the screen in all his
inhuman beauty. A minute passes, maybe two.

And then Baba Valya says: “I wish we could boil jelly out of this head.
how cold it would be!"

General confusion. The mother-in-law is cautiously interested in what, in fact,
heads...

Baba Valya: "Yes, from this Kirkorov. There, what a head, eyes - in! so
and puffs. There would be a lot of cold."

He gets up and leaves the room - to smoke ...

The son-in-law came to his mother-in-law at the dacha, she set the table, than God sent. son-in-law
did not sit down, but immediately to the point:
- I came to fix the roof of the toilet, you asked.
He goes out into the garden and sees a brand new plastic toilet. Mother-in-law:
- Don't worry, it happened. I'm fixing the roof of the toilet five
asked years ago.
Son-in-law:
- OK.
Mother-in-law, pointing to the other side of the garden:
- You better drank the apple tree for me, the bark beetle took it.
Son-in-law:
- And she looks normal, healthy, all hung with apples.
Mother-in-law:
- Now, yes, her bark beetle will kill her just in five years.

Chilly Willy: Well, today I had a fight with mine again)))))
Jake: yes??? what again?
Chilly Willy: yes again my stupid imagination decided to play a joke on her))))) went for a swim while she was lying in bed well, I think let me have fun...))0
Zhmek: nuuu .... don't tomi))) what did you do now?
Chilly-Willie: lay down in the bath, doused the floor and head with ketchup, and like I was lying down, slipped and broke my head)))
Zhmek: O_o clean demon)))))))
Chilly-Willy: well, yes)))) she came in, you should have seen her face)))) began to scream, I could not stand it and laughed))))
Zhmek: the result?)))
Chilly Willy: half an hour on the landing in shorts and ketchup on his head ((((
Jmak: O_o

A mother came to a family living in very far abroad,
concurrently being the mother-in-law. In the 10 years since
wedding of his beloved daughter, the mother-in-law's relationship with her son-in-law periodically changed from
"Oh, how well the son-in-law hammers in nails, not like you" (to her husband) before
"and where did our beautiful clever girl manage to find such a thing and what do we
do "(also to her husband). The son-in-law experienced feelings throughout
these years are equal. But what will be clear from the following. So here it is
the hospitable son-in-law returns home after work, having stopped on the way
to the store. For a long time he rustled with packages carried from the car to the kitchen.
Clearly he was seriously overwhelmed.
And most likely in the head of the mother-in-law it was already ripe "maybe the son-in-law is nothing,
economic." But everything was spoiled by the son-in-law, who came into the living room and said
"Tatyana Ivanovna, I bought such melons. Go, Smell!"

mother-in-law traveler

"See Paris - and die"

My friend, perhaps under the influence of that very joke about his mother-in-law and Paris
about the new Russian, also sent his mother-in-law to the capital of France, and even in
load for two weeks in lope there cities and villages in local places
- Cote d'Azur... Normandy.

But on the way back, the old woman got stuck for 40 hours at the Chicago airport.
Weather conditions. What a bummer came out with the hotel, bust, or something.
Only mothers with children and colored people were allowed in. Crowded in the waiting room
so many passengers from all flights that I had to sleep on the marble floor.

In short, I messed up. Yes, I was impressed, you see, much cooler than in the Great
France - for any question about the voyage, he begins to talk about different
episodes at the Chicago airport. Almost according to Stirlitz - the last one is remembered.

The first to fall under the distribution of the main impressions was the one who met in San Francisco
the brother-in-law who tried to steer the conversation away from suffering at the Chicago airport.
Say, come on, mom, better about France.

Where there! She - "oh, yes, the trip is terribly interesting. But on the opposite
way at the airport in Chicago ... "And again, the depiction of different episodes in
Chicago airport.

“And finally,” he says, “now I don’t set foot in these Europes. Because on
way back... - and again about Chicago... I will travel only on
America. There are a lot of interesting places here!"

Caring son-in-law: "And this is true, mom. You are not yet at all airports
countries sat ... "

But the story didn't end there. The mother-in-law in her bed could not
sleep for a few more days, until part of the floor in the bedroom is covered
marble. And then, finally, spreading her little coat, she plunged into
a strong, airport dream, into which Chikage was forever drawn.

© Alik, also son-in-law www.alikdot.ru/anru/love/mothinlow/mothinlowtrip/

Sad, but about life. Happened last week.

There lived a man. And he had a mother-in-law. Well, and father-in-law, too, of course.
Both are aged, they already put absenteeism at the cemetery. And they lived in
separate apartments in different parts of the city: mother-in-law in Kamyshova, and father-in-law -
on Makarov.

Early in the morning, the mother-in-law called her son-in-law and said that it was time for her to leave for the world
different. Arriving at home to the second mother, the son-in-law found her in such a bad
state that I didn’t even have time to call an ambulance: my beloved mother-in-law emitted
spirit. Feeling sad, the son-in-law called a hearse. Arriving orderlies loaded
stretcher with the body in the "Gazelle" and expressed their condolences to the guy.

After drinking a "sotochka", the son-in-law called his father-in-law and told him the unfortunate news.
The father-in-law grabbed his heart and asked the son-in-law to come to him as soon as possible,
because his condition was greatly worsened by bad news. Arriving to
father-in-law home, the son-in-law found him already dead.

Having become sad for the second time, the guy dialed the ambulance number and called the hearse.
The SAME orderlies arrived in the same car.

But we already seem to have met today?!
- Well, yes, a couple of hours ago, the mother-in-law was taken away.
- And who is this man?
- Test.
- ... Excuse me ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THEM that they die so quickly?

This story happened to my mother-in-law.
Her second daughter married an "authority". Such a good-natured
two meter guy. For some time, their young family lived in the mother-in-law's house.
She is an intelligent woman, therefore, to the thieves' comrades of the son-in-law, who came
to visit, I got used to it with difficulty. All criminal events that took place in
our city, she (not without reason) attributed to them and a lot of
suffered this. The son-in-law, in turn, categorically denied any connection with
these events, and swore that he had been an honest businessman for a year.
Once in our city there was a big shootout in one of the bars.
Three representatives of the “former” brigade of the son-in-law died. He is like old
comrade, undertook to help with the organization of the funeral. He personally ordered three
vehicles for transporting the bodies of dead friends from the morgue to the cemetery. And so,
15 minutes after sending the father-in-law by car to the morgue, the mother-in-law (T) stands in
yard of his house and in deep thought he waters the flowers. And here to
a minibus drives up to the gate of the house, a kingpin (A) gets out of it,
the following dialogue occurs:
Hello, is your son-in-law at home?
T - no, he left
Ah - and I came for the corpses
T - the guys have already followed them to the morgue, catch up with them
A - you didn’t understand me, I’m behind those corpses that you have in the garage
T - WHERE?!
A - in the garage, in the pit under the car, your son-in-law said that if he was not
at home, I can pick them up myself.
T - (slowly losing consciousness) without it, I won’t let you into the garage
Oh, I'm sorry, I'll come back later.
Struggling with the rolling desire to faint, mother-in-law (courageous
woman) goes to the garage, looks into the repair pit and sees a large
a bunch of plastic sewer pipes that my son-in-law prepared for
his house under construction.

We have a normal relationship with my mother-in-law, but sometimes, in order to follow
the prevailing household opinion about the relationship between son-in-law and mother-in-law we tease each other
friend. Or rather, basically, I do this, because the mother-in-law is a person
kind and simple, and does not really know how to tease.
The story itself:
We are sitting this evening in our kitchen, with my wife, little son and mother-in-law, who
came to visit us for a few days. Here in the process of dialogue mother-in-law
asks my wife - Olya, but I didn’t forget my book with you?
- yes, I put in, - Mein Kampf.
Mother-in-law did not laugh, only my wife and I laughed :)))


to death. Taking advantage of the fact that dear mother went to the market, son-in-law



around your stupid head.



protruding tongue and squinting eyes. Mother-in-law squealed with such force,
that a crookedly hanging chandelier fell from the ceiling and fucked an amateur
draws right on the dome. The son-in-law, however, did not screw up, but deafeningly
yelled. The mother-in-law, hearing how the severed head swears desperately,
completely lost her mind and threw at the guy just bought
three-liter bottle with tomato paste. Naturally, the jar hit the joker
right on the forehead. Obviously, the man's bones were as thick as a concrete slab,
because the container broke, adding color to the landscape. Poor son-in-law
lost consciousness and remained sitting under the table, now for sure
looking like a corpse. Baba, howling like a jammed coffee grinder, recklessly
rushed to the police station, located in the same house, on the first
floor.




opened her mouth and let out a tirade:
- Mother! …Yo Mama! ... your mother! Mother!

turned out to be stronger.
- You that ... this ... - he muttered, - show me your passport!
- I’ll get out, - the head croaked, - and I’ll get it, wait a little. Obviously,
the prospect of seeing a head flying through the air behind a document is so
impressed the serviceman that he screamed: "Save! Vampires!" - rushed for
help. When the squad is almost at full strength, with service weapons on
ready to break into the apartment, the son-in-law, still covered in ketchup,
called an ambulance.
The result of the joke: the mother-in-law has a hypertensive crisis, one cop began to stutter,
the second one always giggles stupidly at the sight of a bottle of ketchup now, brother-in-law
received several days for hooliganism and complete moral
satisfaction. And the mother-in-law once and for all stopped pestering the idiot.

mother-in-law
1. If you have a good relationship with the mother-in-law, which means she is disguised or
does not love his daughter.
2. The kinder your mother-in-law seems to you, the more stupid you are.
3. All the shortcomings of your wife are brought up by the mother-in-law.
4. If you have good mood It means you haven't seen your mother-in-law for a long time.
5. If you are in a great mood, it means that you have not heard from your mother-in-law for a long time.
6. If your mood deteriorates, it means that your mother-in-law is somewhere nearby.
7. If the mother-in-law is silent, this does not mean that she will say something good.
8. Mother-in-law's silence is a sign of disagreement.
9. One old mother-in-law is worse than two young ones, who, in turn, are worse.
four old ones.
10. The longer a woman is our mother-in-law, the less she likes us.
11. A good mother-in-law lives on the Moon, or better on Mars.
12. There are no good mother-in-laws even in fairy tales.
13. Mother-in-law! How many hissing sounds in this word.

You have received a message!
One man decided to play a trick on his mother-in-law, who washed him down almost
to death. Taking advantage of the fact that dear mother went to the market, son-in-law
sawed a hole in the dining table, then crawled under it, stuck his head in
hole and stuck in that position. The tablecloth hung down to the floor, and the body
the joker was nowhere to be seen. He also preliminarily poured plenty of ketchup on everything
around your stupid head.
Now imagine what the absurd woman saw when she returned home? On
a pool of blood on the tablecloth, and in the center of the table lies the severed head of a son-in-law with
protruding tongue and squinting eyes.
The mother-in-law squealed with such force that a crookedly hanging
chandelier and slammed the prankster right on the cumpol. Son-in-law, really
didn't flinch, but yelled deafeningly.
The mother-in-law, hearing how the severed head desperately swears, finally
lost her mind and threw a just bought three-liter at the guy
bottle with tomato paste. Naturally, the jar hit the joker right in the forehead.
Obviously the man's bones were as thick as a concrete slab, because
the container broke, adding color to the landscape. Poor son-in-law passed out
yes, he remained sitting under the table, now exactly like a corpse.
Baba, howling like a jammed coffee grinder, rushed headlong into the department
militia, located in the same house, on the first floor.
The cops who came at the sight of the apocalyptic spectacle became ill, and they
even, having lost self-control, backed away to the door. And then the head, terrible,
all covered with red clots, raised her eyelids, rolled her eyes furiously,
opened her mouth and let out a tirade:
- Mother! Yo Mama! Your mother! Mother!
The mother-in-law fainted, one of the cops collapsed next to her, the second
turned out to be stronger.
- You are that ..., this ... - he mumbled, - show me your passport!
- I’ll get out, - the head croaked, - and I’ll get it, wait a minute.
Obviously, the prospect of seeing a head flying through the air behind a document
so impressed the servant that he screamed: "Save! Vampires!" -
rushed for help.
When the squad is almost at full strength, with service weapons at the ready
broke into the apartment, the son-in-law, still covered in ketchup, called
"Ambulance". The result of the joke: the mother-in-law has a hypertensive crisis, one cop became
stutter, the second one now always giggles stupidly at the sight of a bottle of
ketchup, son-in-law received several days for hooliganism and complete
moral satisfaction. And the mother-in-law once and for all stopped pestering
to an idiot.

I read it in some local paper a long time ago. Someone may have heard this
history - this is because it is repeated, miserable, throughout
Russia - the last one is too big. The man was very grumpy
mother-in-law. And so he decided to somehow play a joke on her. Yes, so that
got through!
He returned home from work, there was no one there. Went into the kitchen, pushed
kitchen table so that there was a gap of 15 centimeters in it.
a hole the size of a head in the tablecloth and laid it on the table. Then,
using the blood of a freshly bought-freshly slaughtered rooster, slapped
tablecloth,
rubbed his neck a little. He himself climbed under the table from below (tablecloth, it is necessary
Mark,
hung down to the floor, hiding it) stuck his head into the hole, stuck out
language
and hid. From the side - a poured severed head on the table.
And here is the scene: the mother-in-law, who returned from the market, first of all went to
lay out food in the kitchen. Sees the head. Numbness. mouth grabbing
air, the mother-in-law begins to cross herself furiously. The man opens his eyes
bulges them out and utters: "G-g-wow!"
Mother-in-law falls. Heart attack.
At the trial (on charges of manslaughter), the man justified himself:
"She barked at me all her life, and I only barked at her once!"

I will answer the question posed in the title at the end of the story, or rather the story itself will be this answer.
The way from Volkhov, where I live with my wife and two small children, to Klin, where my mother-in-law lives, is not so far by Russian standards: seven hours by train to Tver and an hour by train. Early in June morning, having made this journey, I brought my wife and children to my grandmother for the summer. The day before, my wife and I had an amazing night of love. My chosen one is good for everyone: educated, smart, in my opinion, a beauty, although she is a little complex because of her big nose (and I really like that nose!), The figure is slender, moderately plump, and not at all thin in American fashion. At 27, my wife is already a head teacher, and she is tipped to become a school principal. Only one thing upsets me - my wife is very strict in matters of intimacy. Of all the postures, she recognizes only the classical and, as a rare exception, the posture that our witty people named after the famous river arthropod, and even that she considers extremely depraved. Sometimes it seems to me that, going to bed, she is afraid that her students would suddenly show up and condemn her for immoral behavior!
That would be half the trouble! She believed that the normal pace of intimacy is once a month!!! Only having read in some medical journal that a man, in order not to harm his health, should be discharged at least once every two weeks, she established just such a frequency. Damn that pernicious woman who wrote the article! May she live at this pace with her husband all her life! No to write at least once a week! (These are still flowers! In 1995, after graduation, I finally retired with my classmate, whom I had loved since the seventh grade, and ... Then we did not see each other for many years. In 2005, at the anniversary reunion of graduates, I saw her again. Ooh, aah. Memories, then a restaurant, and... Can you imagine what frequency! Once in a millennium!!!)
However, I must say that my betrothed is not at all frigid, and perhaps precisely because of its rarity, the minutes of our intimacy are a real holiday for both of us, the apotheosis of our love!
Two women meet us at the threshold of the mother-in-law's house: the mother-in-law herself and her youngest daughter Vika. Children throw themselves on the neck of their grandmother. We hug, we kiss. A joyful meeting smoothly turns into a festive dinner. My mother-in-law is a cheerful and hardworking woman. Everything is on fire in her hands. Likes to joke. Knows a lot of ditties and folk songs. As a seventeen-year-old girl, she fell in love with an officer of the Soviet Army. They soon got married. A year later, my future wife was born. Everything was going well, but the trouble, as always, came unexpectedly. The second daughter was born crippled. The father's service at the Semipalatinsk training ground was not in vain! Trouble in Rus', as you know, does not come alone, and misfortune for the whole country was added to personal grief! This muddy mudflow has poured into the expanses of our country of bad memory "perestroika". Soon, the father-in-law was forced to leave the service and moved with his family to Moscow. The housing problem was solved with difficulty. For several years ten of us huddled together in the four-room apartment of my wife's grandfather. Then the father-in-law managed to buy an unfinished stone house in Klin, where they soon moved with their mother-in-law and girls. A year later, in 1995, the father-in-law died of lung cancer. It's not hard to guess where he got it!
Victoria came out to meet her nephews' babies, waddling like a duck on her sick legs. She spends most of her life in a wheelchair. Walking for her is a difficult and painful task. Despite a serious illness, Vika is the same joker and optimist as her mother. She is a part-time student. He writes romance novels with great success under a pseudonym... However, let's not reveal family secrets!
The day flew by in merry bustle. The next morning, the wife with the children and the mother-in-law go for a walk in the city garden. Women tell me to be more careful with Vika, while my mother-in-law winks conspiratorially. After they leave, I go into Vicki's room. She is waiting for me. The girl lay on top of the blanket. She was wearing a light translucent tunic. Under the pink tunic, tender girlish breasts with sharp nipples shone. At the bottom of the abdomen, a triangle of hair darkened, denoting the most intimate female place. I licked my dry lips. Victoria looked at me reassuringly and whispered almost audibly: "Take me!" I pressed my lips into hers. She grabbed my head with her baby hands. The kiss turned out to be passionate and exciting. Then I kissed her nose, neck, breasts, getting drunk from the smell of French perfume, excited by the feelings that overwhelmed my soul: love, compassion, carnal desire, pity. It came to the main female caliber ... Vika loves it very much when I kiss her “there”, although at first she was very shy about this and was nervous. After a few minutes, she begins to breathe often, often, groans from an overabundance of feelings, and now I feel a small tubercle pulsating under my tongue ... Then, after a few minutes of rest, I get up so that Vika is comfortable, and let her touch mine " the main caliber. ”She is madly in love with touching and fiddling with him, stroking his testicles. Then we move on to the main dish, the classic. I am very gentle and careful. A few minutes later... However, you know how it ends without me!
The most interesting thing is that my wife Nina inspired me to cohabit with my sister. Two years ago, when Nina was eight months pregnant with Vanechka, we came to visit her mother-in-law. One evening the conversation turned to Vika. For obvious reasons, Vika could not get married. The extreme option to marry another disabled person was also not good. My wife might not have said this, and it’s understandable, but when she said that Vika is an adult girl and she has certain needs for the female part, I did not immediately understand what was at stake. The wife explained:
- She needs a man, but where to get him?
I began to guess:
Should I be this man?
And, after an affirmative answer, he attacked his wife:
- You, a legal wife, offer me, your husband, to become my sister's lover?
Then the mother-in-law came to help his wife, waited under the door? Together they began to persuade me, they say, it's okay, it's a family affair. Vika agrees, she has laid eyes on me since the wedding. Nina doesn't mind. We haven't had sex for a long time because of her pregnancy, and I'd rather be with Vika than with anyone there! The mother-in-law is also in favor. A popular Russian drink played a significant role in the persuasion, and it was far from kvass! I agreed. The next morning I went to Vika ... Since then, our meetings have become rare, but regular.
On the third day of our stay in Klin from Moscow, my brother-in-law, Uncle Kolya, drove in a foreign car. He promised to take Nina with the children to the zoo. My mother-in-law and I stayed to mow the grass. As soon as the car disappeared around the corner, I turned to my mother-in-law and began to tremble. So an alcoholic who is thirsty for vodka trembles at the sight of a bottle. Mother-in-law was also shaking. Without saying a word, we rushed into the barn and frantically began to undress, as if our lives depended on it. Having undressed, they rushed to the dusty sofa and pounced on each other like hungry wolves. The mother-in-law p... happily champed, letting her old friend into her limits. After a few minutes of convulsive sex, we satisfied our insatiable hunger. In the second period of our meeting, the mother-in-law took the initiative, in the third period I again, but the sex was already unconventional.
With my mother-in-law, it turned out like this: almost immediately after the wedding, she began to make clear hints that it wouldn’t be bad for us ... Having been widowed at 33, she apparently experienced certain difficulties due to a lack of male affection. Perhaps she had someone at her work (her mother-in-law worked in the city hospital), but she could not bring a man to the house because of Vicki. Over time, the mother-in-law began to behave even more freely. Having learned on one of our visits that she would soon become a woman Zina, but my wife and I were not allowed, she offered herself instead of her daughter. Sometimes, when Nina was not around, she openly pestered me, either pinching my ass or feeling me “there”, but I held on steadfastly. Everything was decided by one case. Once, quite by accident, I witnessed how to say this more delicately? In short, the mother-in-law was engaged in self-satisfaction, I apologize for the detail, without the use of foreign objects. Unusually exciting spectacle! I could not stand it, I felt sorry for the poor woman. She turned out to be a great craftswoman. I’m a little complex from the unimpressive size of my copulatory organ, and she was frankly delighted at how small and strong he was. She nicknamed “him” a gherkin, and remembered the proverb: “Little x ... k in the f ... e kinglet!” It turned out that she is a lover of non-traditional sex, where this size is preferable. Since then, my mother-in-law and I have used every opportunity for our meetings.
As for the question in the title, there are several answers to it:
1. Do not react at all.
2. Politely refuse.
3. Send mother-in-law to ...
4. Send mother-in-law to ...
5. Complain to your wife.
6. Complain to the father-in-law, if any (God forbid you do this!).
7. Give in to mother-in-law's harassment.
I chose the latter.

Psychologist's advice