Rules for addressing the clergy. Are a priest, a priest and a priest in Orthodoxy one and the same or not? outside the church walls
Hieromonk Aristarkh (Lokhanov)
With the blessing of His Grace Simon, Bishop of Murmansk and Monchegorsk
General information about church etiquette
The years of militant atheism in our country, which eventually led to historical and religious oblivion, interrupted many traditions that held generations together, gave life sanctification through fidelity to age-old customs, traditions, and institutions. What has been lost (and now only in parts and with difficulty is restored) is what our great-grandfathers absorbed from childhood and what later became natural - the rules of behavior, manners, courtesy, permissiveness, which have developed over a long time on the basis of the norms of Christian morality. Conventionally, these rules can be called church etiquette. In general, etiquette is a set of rules of conduct, treatment adopted in certain social circles (there are court, diplomatic, military etiquette, as well as general civil), and in figuratively- and the very form of behavior. The specificity of church etiquette is connected primarily with what constitutes the main content of the religious life of a believer - with the veneration of God, with piety.
To distinguish between two terms - piety and church etiquette- let's briefly touch on some basic concepts of moral theology (according to the course "Orthodox moral theology" by Archimandrite Platon. -, 1994).
Human life takes place simultaneously in three spheres of being:
- natural;
- public;
- religious.
Possessing the gift of freedom, a person is oriented:
- on one's own existence;
- an ethical attitude to the world around;
- a religious relationship with God.
The basic principle of a person's attitude to his own being is honor (indicating that there is a person), while the norm is chastity (individual integrity and internal integrity) and nobility (a high degree of moral and intellectual formation).
The basic principle of a person's relationship to his neighbor is honesty, while truthfulness and sincerity are the norm.
Honor and honesty are the prerequisites and conditions of religious piety. They give us the right to boldly turn to God, recognizing our own dignity and at the same time seeing in another person a companion to God and a co-heir of God's grace.
Exercise in piety (see:), prosperity in it (see:) should be subordinated to the whole life of a believer, who is called to remain spiritually sober and not deceive his heart, risking falling into empty piety (see:).
Piety is, as it were, a vertical, directed from earth to heaven (man<->God), church etiquette is horizontal (man<->human). At the same time, one cannot ascend to heaven without loving a person, and one cannot love a person without loving God: If we love each other, then God abides in us(), and who does not love his brother whom he sees, how can he love God whom he does not see? ().
Thus, all the rules of church etiquette are determined by spiritual foundations, which should regulate relations between believers who aspire to God.
There is an opinion that there is no need to "manipulate", since God looks at the heart. The latter, of course, is true, but virtue itself offends if it is combined with repulsive manners. Of course, terrifying intentions can be hidden behind a brilliant manner, which is associated with the iconic nature of our behavior, when, say, a gesture can reveal our true state or desire, but it can also hide. So, Pontius Pilate in one modern novel, washing his hands at the trial of Christ, gives a kind of interpretation of his gesture: “Let the gesture be elegant and the symbol impeccable, if the deed is dishonorable.” Such abilities of people with the help of ambiguity of gesture, good manners to hide a bad heart cannot serve as an excuse in the absence of church "good form". "Bad tone" in the temple can become a stumbling block church man on his way to God. Let us remember the lamentations and complaints of new converts who come to churches and meet there sometimes simply a barbaric attitude towards themselves on the part of those who consider themselves to be churchgoers. How much rudeness, primitive mentoring, hostility and unforgiveness can be found in other communities! How many people - especially from among the youth and the intelligentsia - have lost parishes because of this! And someday they, these departed people, will come back to the temple? And what answer will be given by those who served as such a temptation on the way to the temple?!
God-fearing and church-educated. a person, if he sees something indecent in the behavior of another, only corrects his brother or sister with love and respect. Indicative in this regard is a case from the life of the monk: “This elder retained one habit from his worldly life, namely, sometimes, sitting down, he crossed his legs, which might not seem quite decent. Some of the brethren saw this, but none of them dared to rebuke him, because everyone respected him greatly. But only one elder, Abba Pimen, said to the brethren: “Go to Abba Arseny, and I will sit by him as he sometimes sits; then you will remark to me that I do not sit well. I will ask your forgiveness; At the same time, we will correct the elder.”
They went and did so. The Monk Arseny, realizing that it was so indecent for a monk to sit, left his habit ”(Lives of the Saints. Month of May. Eighth Day).
Politeness, as a component of etiquette, in a spiritual person can become a means of attracting the grace of God. Usually, courtesy is understood not only as the art of showing by external signs the internal respect that we have for a person, but also the art of being friendly with people to whom we have no favor. What is hypocrisy, hypocrisy? For a spiritual person, who knows the innermost dialectic of external and internal, courtesy can become a means on the path of acquiring and developing humility.
The expression of one ascetic is known: do the external, and for the external the Lord will give the internal, for the external belongs to man, and the internal belongs to God. When external signs virtue itself virtue gradually grows in us. Here is how the Bishop wisely wrote about it:
“He who warns the greetings of others with his greetings, expresses helpfulness and respect for everyone, prefers everyone everywhere to himself, silently endures various griefs and exerts himself in every possible way mentally and practically and in self-abasement for the sake of Christ, at first he experiences many difficult and difficult moments for personal pride.
But for the meek and patient fulfillment of the commandment of God about humility, the grace of the Holy Spirit is poured on him from above, softening his heart for sincere love for God and for people, and his bitter experiences are replaced by sweet ones.
Thus, acts of love without corresponding feelings of love are eventually rewarded by an outpouring of heavenly love in the heart. The resigned begins to feel in the surrounding faces of relatives in Christ and disposes towards them with benevolence.
The bishop wrote about the same: “Acting in the church, as it should, continuously goes through the science of reverence before God, with the consecration of everything to Him.”
In dealing with people - both church and non-church - the holy fathers advise to remember that one must fight not against a sinner, but against sin and always give a person the opportunity to correct himself, remembering that, having repented in the secrets of his heart, he can be already blessed by God.
Thus, we see that, in contrast to secular etiquette, the rules of conduct in a church environment, being most closely connected with piety, lead to the purification and transfiguration of the heart by God's grace, which is bestowed upon the laboring and striving. Therefore, church etiquette should be understood not only as a set of rules of conduct adopted in order to preserve the church organism, but also as a path to ascension to Christ.
To facilitate the use of this small manual, we have divided it into the following parts: rules of conduct in the parish; rules of conduct in monasteries; how to behave at a reception with a bishop; behavior of the Orthodox outside the church.
At the parish
When addressing the clergy, in order to avoid mistakes, it is necessary to have a certain minimum of knowledge about the priesthood.
In Orthodoxy, there are three degrees of priesthood: deacon, priest, bishop. Even before being ordained a deacon, the protege must decide whether he will serve as a priest, being married (white clergy) or becoming a monk ( black clergy). Since the last century, in the Russian Church there has also been the institution of celibacy, that is, the dignity is taken with a vow of celibacy (“celibacy” is Latin for “bachelor”). Deacons and celibate priests also belong to the white clergy. At present, monk-priests serve not only in monasteries, they are not uncommon in parishes, both in the city and in the countryside. The bishop must necessarily be from the black clergy. The priestly hierarchy can be represented as follows:
If a monk accepts a schema (the highest monastic degree is a great angelic image), then the prefix "schema" is added to the name of his rank - schemamonk, schemamonk, schemamonk, schemamonk (or hieroshimonk), schemamonk, schemaarchimandrite, schemabishop (the bishop-schemer must at the same time leave the management of the diocese ).
In dealing with the clergy, one should strive for a neutral style of speech. So, the address "father" (without the use of a name) is not neutral. It is either familiar or functional (characteristic of the address of the clergy among themselves: “Fathers and brothers, please pay attention”).
The question of in what form (to “you” or “you”) should be addressed in the church environment is decided unambiguously - to “you” (although we say in prayer to God Himself: “leave us”, “have mercy on me” ). However, it is clear that in close relationships, communication shifts to “you”. And yet, in the presence of outsiders, the manifestation of close relationships in the church is perceived as a violation of the norm. So, the wife of a deacon or a priest, of course, speaks at home with her husband on "you", but such an address of her at the parish cuts the ear, undermines the authority of the clergyman.
It should be remembered that in the church environment it is customary to handle the use of a proper name in the form in which it sounds in Church Slavonic. Therefore, they say: "Father John" (not "Father Ivan"), "Deacon Sergius" (and not "Deacon Sergei"), "Patriarch Alexy" (and not "Alexey" and not "Aleksy").
Appeal to the Deacon
The deacon is the priest's assistant. He does not have that grace-filled power that a priest possesses and which is given in the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood. Because of this, a deacon cannot independently, without a priest, serve the liturgy, baptize, confess, unction, marry (i.e., perform the sacraments), bury, sanctify the house (i.e., perform rites). Accordingly, they do not turn to him with a request to perform the sacrament and the service, and do not ask for blessings. But, of course, the deacon can help with advice and prayer.
The deacon is addressed with the words: "father deacon." For example: “Father deacon, can you tell me where to find the father rector?”. If they want to know the name of a clergyman, they usually ask in the following way: “Excuse me, what is your holy name? (so you can refer to any Orthodox). If a proper name is used, it must be preceded by "father". For example: "Father Andrei, let me ask you a question." If they are talking about a deacon in the third person, then they should say: “Father the deacon told me…”, or “Father Vladimir told…”, or “Deacon Paul just left”.
Appeal to a priest
In church practice, it is not customary to greet a priest with the words: "Hello."
The priest himself, introducing himself, should say: “Priest (or priest) Vasily Ivanov”, “Archpriest Gennady Petrov”, “Hegumen Leonid”; but it would be a violation of church etiquette to say: "I am Father Mikhail Sidorov."
In the third person, referring to a priest, they usually say: “The Father Rector blessed”, “Father Michael considers…”. But it cuts the ear: "Priest Fedor advised." Although in a multi-clergy parish, where there may be priests with the same names, to distinguish between them they say: "Archpriest Nikolai is on a business trip, and Priest Nikolai is giving communion." Or in this case, a surname is added to the name: "Father Nikolai Maslov is now at the reception of Vladyka."
The combination "father" and the surname of the priest ("father Kravchenko") is used, but rarely and carries a connotation of officiality and detachment.
Knowledge of all this is necessary, but sometimes it turns out to be insufficient due to the multi-situational nature of parish life. Let's consider some situations. What should a layman do if he finds himself in a society where there are several priests? There can be many variations and subtleties here, but general rule is this: they take a blessing first of all from senior priests, that is, first from the archpriests, then from the priests. If you have already taken a blessing from two or three priests, and there are three or four more priests nearby, take a blessing from them too. But if you see that for some reason it is difficult, say: “Bless, honest fathers” and bow. Note that in Orthodoxy it is not customary to deal with the words: “holy father”, they say: “honest father” (for example: “Pray for me, honest father”).
Another situation: a group of believers in the courtyard of the temple comes under the blessing of the priest. In this case, you should do this: first, men come up (if there are clergymen among those gathered, then they come first) - by seniority, then - women (also by seniority). If a family comes under the blessing, then the husband, wife, and then the children (in order of seniority) come first. If they want to introduce someone to the priest, they say: “Father Peter, this is my wife. Please bless her."
What should you do if you meet a priest on the street, in transport, in a public place (at the mayor's office, in a store, etc.)? Even if he is in civilian clothes, you can approach him and take his blessing, seeing, of course, that this will not interfere with his work. If it is impossible to take the blessing, they confine themselves to a slight bow.
At parting, as at a meeting, the layman again asks for blessings from the priest: "Forgive me, father, and bless."
Mutual greetings of the laity
Because we are one in Christ, believers refer to each other as "brother" or "sister." These addresses are quite often (although, perhaps, not to the same extent as in the Western branch of Christianity) used in church life. This is how the believers address the entire congregation: "Brothers and sisters." These beautiful words express that deep unity of the believers, which is said in the prayer: "And unite all of us from the one Bread and the Chalice of those who partake of each other in the One Holy Spirit Communion." In the broad sense of the word, both the bishop and the priest are also brothers for the layman.
In the church environment, it is not customary even to call older people by their patronymics, they are called only by their first names (that is, the way we approach Communion, to Christ).
When laymen meet, men usually kiss each other on the cheek at the same time as shaking hands, while women do without shaking hands. Ascetic rules impose restrictions on greeting a man and a woman through kissing: it is enough to greet each other with a word and a tilt of the head (even on Easter, reasonableness and sobriety are recommended so as not to bring passion into the Easter kiss).
Relations between believers should be filled with simplicity and sincerity, humble readiness to immediately ask for forgiveness when wrong. The church environment is characterized by small dialogues: "Forgive me, brother (sister)." “God forgive me, forgive me.” Parting, believers do not say to each other (as is customary in the world): “All the best!”, But: “God bless you,” “I ask for prayers,” “With God,” “God’s help,” “Guardian Angel,” etc. .P.
If confusion often arises in the world: how to refuse something without offending the interlocutor, then in the Church this issue is resolved in the simplest and best way: “Sorry, I can’t agree to this, because it’s a sin” or “Forgive me, but there is no blessing from my confessor for this.” And in this way, tension is quickly relieved; in the world for this would have to make a lot of effort.
Conversation Behavior
The attitude of a layman to a priest, as a bearer of grace received by him in the sacrament of the Priesthood, as a person appointed by the hierarchy to tend a flock of verbal sheep, should be full of reverence and respect. When communicating with a clergyman, it is necessary to ensure that speech, gestures, facial expressions, posture, and gaze are decent. This means that speech should not contain expressive and even more rude words, jargon, which is full of speech in the world. Gestures and facial expressions should be reduced to a minimum (it is known that stingy gestures are a sign of a well-mannered person). In a conversation, you can not touch the priest, familiarize. When communicating, keep a certain distance. Violation of the distance (too close to the interlocutor) is a violation of the norms even of worldly etiquette. The pose should not be cheeky, let alone defiant. It is not customary to sit while the priest is standing; sit down after being asked to sit down. The look, which is usually the least subject to conscious control, should not be intent, studying, ironic. Very often, it is the look - meek, humble, downcast - that immediately speaks of a well-educated person, in our case, a church person.
In general, one should always try to listen to the other, without tiring the interlocutor with his verbosity and talkativeness. In a conversation with a priest, a believer should remember that through a priest, as a minister of the Mysteries of God, the Lord Himself can often speak. That is why parishioners are so attentive to the words of a spiritual mentor.
Needless to say, the laity in their communication with each other is guided by the same; norms of behavior.
Communication by letter
Written communication (correspondence), although not as common as oral communication, also exists in the church environment and has its own rules. Once it was almost an art, and now the epistolary heritage of church writers or even ordinary believers can only be surprised, admire it, as something unattainable.
church calendar- It's a total holiday. It is not surprising that the most common messages among believers are congratulations on holidays: Easter, Christmas, patronal feast, name day, birthday, etc.
Unfortunately, congratulations are rarely sent and arrive on time. This is an almost universal omission that has become a bad habit. And although it is clear, for example, that Easter, the Nativity of Christ is preceded by a multi-day, even exhausting fast, which last days before the holidays are filled with worries and cares - all this cannot serve as an excuse. It is necessary to make it a rule for yourself: to congratulate and answer letters on time.
There are no strictly regulated rules in writing congratulations. The main thing is that congratulations should be sincere and breathe love. Nevertheless, some accepted or established forms can be noted.
Easter greetings begins with the words: "Christ is Risen!" (usually in red ink) and ends with "Truly Christ is Risen!" (also in red).
A congratulatory letter might look like this:
Christ is Risen!
Beloved in the Lord N.! With a bright and great holiday - Holy Easter - I congratulate you and all your sincere ones. What joy in the soul: "Christ, for the resurrection is eternal."
May this festive joy of the heart not leave you in all your ways. With love in the Risen Christ - your M. Truly Christ is Risen!
Christmas greetings may begin (there is no time-honored formula like Easter) with the words: "Christ is born - praise!" ("born" - in Slavonic). Thus begins the irmos of the first song of the Christmas canon.
You can congratulate your loved ones, for example, as follows:
Christ is born - praise! Dear sister in Christ P.! My congratulations to you on the now-born Christ and prayerful wishes to grow all your life in Christ to the extent of His age. How to purify the heart in order to approach the great piety mystery: "God has appeared in the flesh!"?
I wish you the help of the Divine Infant Christ inyour charitable deeds. Your pilgrim K.
When writing congratulations on the day of the namesake (that is, the memory of the saint with the same name with us), they usually want the help of a heavenly intercessor.
On the patronal feast, the whole parish is congratulated: the rector, the parishioners. If you want to address in a simple syllable, you can start like this: “Dear father rector (or dear father) and all parishioners I congratulate (eat) ...”.
If you want to address in a more solemn and official style, then the title should be different. Here you will need to remember the above table. They turn to a deacon, priest, hieromonk: “Your Reverence”, to an archpriest, abbot, archimandrite: “Your Reverence.” It is extremely rare to use the previously used appeal to the archpriest: “Your High Blessing” and the appeal to the priest: “Your Blessing”. In accordance with the appeal, all congratulations should be in a similar style.
The same can be used as a guide when delivering a congratulatory speech, a toast at holidays, namesake days, which are often held in strong parishes, where they live as a single spiritual family.
At the table in the parish refectory
If you come at a time when the majority of those gathered are already at the table, then you sit in an empty seat, without forcing everyone to move, or where the rector blesses. If the meal has already begun, then, having asked for forgiveness, they wish everyone: “An angel at the meal” and sit down in an empty seat.
Usually in parishes there is no such clear division of tables as in monasteries: the first table, the second table, and so on. Nevertheless, at the head of the table (that is, at the end, if there is one row of tables) or at a table set perpendicularly, sits the rector or the senior of the priests. By right side from him - the priest next in seniority, to the left - a priest by rank. Next to the priesthood sits the chairman of the parish council, members of the council, clergy (psalmist, reader, altar server), choristers. The rector usually blesses the guests of honor to eat closer to the head of the table. In general, they are guided by the words of the Savior about humility at dinner (see:).
The order of the meal in the parish often copies the monastic one: if this is an everyday table, then the prepared reader, standing behind the lectern, after the blessing of the priest, for the edification of those gathered, reads the life or instruction aloud, which is listened to with attention. If this is a festive meal, where birthday people are congratulated, then spiritual wishes, toasts are sounded; Those who wish to pronounce them would do well to think in advance what to say. At the table, they observe the measure in everything: in eating and drinking, in conversations, jokes, and the duration of the feast. If gifts are presented to the birthday man, then these are most often icons, books, church utensils, sweets, flowers. The hero of the occasion at the end of the feast thanks all those gathered, who then sing to him “many years”. Praising and thanking the organizers of the dinner, all those who have worked in the kitchen also observe the measure, for "the Kingdom of God is not food and drink, but joy in the Holy Spirit."
How a priest is invited to fulfill the requirements
Sometimes it is required to invite a priest to fulfill the so-called treb.
If the priest is familiar to you, you can invite him by phone. During a telephone conversation, as well as during a meeting, direct communication, they do not say to the priest: “Hello”, but build the beginning of the conversation like this: “Hello, is this Father Nikolai? Bless, father, ”and then briefly, succinctly state the purpose of the call. They end the conversation with thanksgiving and again: "Bless." Or the priest, or the one behind candle box in the temple you need to find out what needs to be prepared for the arrival of the priest. For example, if a priest is invited to give communion (parting words) to a sick person, it is necessary to prepare the patient, clean up the room, take the dog out of the apartment, have candles, clean clothes, and water. Unction requires candles, pods with cotton wool, oil, wine. At the funeral, candles are needed, permissive prayer, funeral cross, veil, icon. Candles, vegetable oil, holy water are prepared for the consecration of the house. The priest invited for the service is usually painfully impressed by the fact that relatives do not know how to behave with the priest. Even worse, if the TV is not turned off, music plays, a dog barks, half-naked young people walk around.
At the end of the prayers, if the situation allows, the priest can be offered a cup of tea - this is a great opportunity for family members to talk about the spiritual, to resolve some issues.
On the behavior of parishioners bearing church obedience
The behavior of parishioners who carry out church obedience (trade in candles, icons, cleaning the temple, guarding the territory, singing on the kliros, serving at the altar) is a special topic. We know what importance is attached to obedience in the Church. Doing everything in the Name of God, overcoming your old self, is a very difficult task. It is further complicated by the fact that “getting used to the shrine” quickly appears, a feeling of a master (hostess) in the church, when the parish begins to seem like its own patrimony, and hence the disregard for all “outside”, “coming”. Meanwhile, the holy fathers nowhere say that obedience is higher than love. And if God is Love, how can one become like Him without showing love oneself?
Brothers and sisters who carry out obedience in churches should be an example of meekness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And the most elementary culture: for example, to be able to answer the phone. Anyone who has had to call churches knows what level of culture they are talking about - sometimes you don’t feel like calling anymore.
On the other hand, people going to the temple need to know that this is a special world with its own rules. Therefore, one cannot go to the temple defiantly dressed: women should not be in trousers, short skirts, without a headdress, with lipstick on their lips; men should not come in shorts, T-shirts, shirts with short sleeves, they should not smell of tobacco. These are questions not only of piety, but also of etiquette, because a violation of the norms of behavior can cause a fair negative reaction (even if only in the soul) from others.
To all those who, for some reason, had unpleasant moments of communion at the parish, here is a piece of advice: you have come to God, and bring your heart to Him, and overcome temptation with prayer and love.
In the monastery
The love of the Orthodox people for monasteries is known. There are now about 500 of them in the Russian Orthodox Church. And in each of them, in addition to the inhabitants, there are laborers, pilgrims who come to strengthen their faith, piety, to work for the glory of God on the restoration or improvement of the monastery.
There is stricter discipline in the monastery than in the parish. And although the mistakes of newcomers are usually forgiven, covered with love, it is advisable to go to the monastery, already knowing the rudiments of the monastic rules.
Spiritual and administrative structure of the monastery
The monastery is headed by the holy archimandrite - the ruling bishop or (if the monastery is stavropegic) the Patriarch himself.
However, the abbot directly manages the monastery (it can be an archimandrite, abbot, hieromonk). In ancient times, he was called a builder, or abbot. The convent is managed by the abbess.
In view of the need for a well-functioning monastic life (and monasticism is spiritual path, so verified and polished by centuries of practice that it can be called academic) in the monastery everyone has a certain obedience. The first assistant and deputy governor is the dean. He is in charge of all worship, the fulfillment of statutory requirements. It is to him that they are usually sent on the issue of accommodation for pilgrims coming to the monastery.
An important place in the monastery belongs to the confessor, who spiritually nourishes the brethren. Moreover, this does not have to be an old man (both in terms of age and in terms of spiritual gifts).
From the experienced brothers are selected: treasurer (responsible for the storage and distribution of donations with the blessing of the governor), sacristan (responsible for the splendor of the temple, vestments, utensils, storage liturgical books), housekeeper (responsible for the economic life of the monastery, in charge of the obediences of the laborers who came to the monastery), cellar (responsible for storing and preparing food), hotel (responsible for the accommodation and accommodation of the guests of the monastery) and others. In women's monasteries, these obediences are carried out by the nuns of the monastery, with the exception of the confessor, who is appointed by the bishop from among experienced and usually elderly monks.
Appeal to monks
In order to correctly address the monk (nuns) of the monastery, you need to know that in the cloisters there are novices (novices), cassock monks (nuns), mantle monks (nuns), schemamonks (schemanuns). AT monastery some of the monks have a holy order (they serve as deacons, priests).
Conversion in the monasteries is as follows.
In the men's monastery. You can address the governor with an indication of his position ("Father governor, bless") or with the use of the name ("Father Nikon, bless"), perhaps simply "father" (rarely used). In a formal setting: “Your Reverence” (if the vicar is an archimandrite or abbot) or “Your Reverence” (if a hieromonk). In the third person they say: “father governor”, “father Gabriel”.
They turn to the dean: with an indication of the position (“dean father”), with the addition of a name (“father Pavel”), “father”. In the third person: “father dean” (“turn to the father dean”) or “father ... (name)”.
They turn to the confessor: with the use of the name (“Father John”) or simply “father”. In the third person: “what will the confessor advise”, “what will Father John say”.
If the steward, sacristan, treasurer, cellar have a priestly rank, you can turn to them “father” and ask for blessings. If they are not ordained, but have tonsured, they say: "Father steward", "Father treasurer". Hieromonk, abbot, archimandrite can be said: "father ... (name)", "father."
A monk who has been tonsured is called “father”, a novice is called “brother” (if the novice is in old age - “father”). In an appeal to schemniks, if san is used, the prefix "schi" is added - for example: "I ask for your prayers, Father Schema-Archimandrite."
AT convent.
The abbess, unlike the nuns, wears a golden pectoral cross and has the right to bless. Therefore, they ask her for blessings, turning in this way: “mother abbess”; or with the use of the name: "mother Varvara", "mother Nikolai" or simply "mother". (In a convent, the word "mother" refers only to abbess. Therefore, if they say: "So thinks mother," they mean abbess.)
In an appeal to the nuns, they say: “mother Evlampia”, “mother Seraphim”, but in a specific situation, you can simply “mother”. The novices are addressed: “sister” (in the case of the advanced age of the novices, the appeal “mother” is possible).
About monastic rules
The monastery is a special world. And it takes time to learn the rules of the monastic community. Since this book is intended for the laity, we will only point out the most necessary things that must be observed in the monastery during the pilgrimage.
When you come to a monastery as a pilgrim or worker, remember that in a monastery everyone asks for a blessing and strictly fulfills it.
It is impossible to leave the monastery without a blessing.
They leave all their sinful habits and addictions outside the monastery (, etc.).
They talk only about the spiritual, do not remember about worldly life, do not teach each other, but they know only two words - “forgive” and “bless”.
Without grumbling, they are content with food, clothing, sleeping conditions, they eat food only at a common meal.
They do not go to other people's cells, except when they are sent by the rector. At the entrance to the cell, a prayer is said aloud: “Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ the Son of God, have mercy on us” (in the convent: “Through the prayers of our holy mothers ...”). They do not enter the cell until they hear from behind the door: "Amen."
Avoid free treatment, laughter, jokes.
When working on obediences, they try to spare the weak who works nearby, covering up the errors in his work with love. At a mutual meeting, they greet each other with bows and the words: “Save yourself, brother (sister)”; and the other replies to this: "Save, Lord." Unlike the world, they don't take each other's hand.
Sitting at the table in the refectory, observe the order of precedence. The prayer that the person who serves food is answered with “Amen”, they are silent at the table and listen to the reading.
They are not late for worship, except when busy in obedience. Insults encountered in general obediences are endured humbly, thereby gaining experience in the spiritual life and love for the brethren.
How to Behave at a Bishop's Reception
A bishop is an angel of the Church; without a bishop, he loses his fullness and very essence. Therefore, a church person always treats bishops with special reverence.
Addressing the bishop, he is called “Vladyko” (“Lord, bless”). "Lord" is a vocative case Church Slavonic, in the nominative case - Lord; for example: “Vladyka Bartholomew has blessed you…”.
Eastern (coming from Byzantium) solemnity and verbosity in addressing the bishop at first even confuses the heart of a person with little church, who can see here (in fact, non-existent) belittling of his own human dignity.
In official address, other expressions are used.
Addressing the Bishop: Your Eminence; Most Reverend Master. In the third person: "His Eminence ordained a deacon ...".
Addressing the Archbishop and Metropolitan: Your Eminence; Most Reverend Vladyko. In the third person: "With the blessing of His Eminence, we inform you ...".
Addressing the Patriarch: Your Holiness; Holy Lord. In the third person: "His Holiness visited ... the diocese."
They take a blessing from the bishop in the same way as from a priest: the palms are folded crosswise one on top of the other (right above) and approach the bishop for blessing.
Telephone conversation with the bishop they begin with the words: “Bless, Vladyko” or “Bless, Your Eminence (High Eminence)”.
The letter can begin with the words: “Vladyka, bless” or “Your Eminence (High Eminence), bless.”
When formally written to bishop follow the following form.
In the upper right corner of the sheet they write, observing the line:
His Eminence
Most Reverend (name),
Bishop (name of the diocese),
Petition.
When referring to archbishop or metropolitan:
His Eminence
His Eminence (name),
archbishop (metropolitan), (name of the diocese),
Petition.
When referring to Patriarch:
His Holiness
His Holiness Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia
Alexy
Petition.
They usually end a petition or a letter with the following words: “I ask for the prayers of Your Eminence ...”.
Priests, who are, in fact, in church obedience, write: "Humble novice of Your Eminence ...".
At the bottom of the sheet they put the date according to the old and new styles, indicating the saint whose memory the Church honors on this day. For example: July 5/18. Rev. Sergius of Radonezh.
Arriving at an appointment with the bishop at the diocesan administration, they approach the secretary or head of the chancellery, introduce themselves and tell them why they are asking for an appointment. Entering the bishop’s office, they say a prayer: “Through the prayers of our holy Lord, Lord Jesus Christ the Son of God, have mercy on us,” they are baptized on the icons in the red corner, they approach the bishop and ask for his blessing. At the same time, it is not necessary from excessive reverence or fear to kneel or prostrate (unless, of course, you came with a confession of some kind of sin).
There are usually many priests in the diocesan administration, but it is not necessary to take a blessing from each of them. In addition, there is a clear rule: in the presence of a bishop, they do not take blessings from the priests, but only greet them with a slight tilt of the head.
If the bishop leaves the office for the reception room, they approach him for blessing according to their rank: first the priests (by seniority), then the laity (men, then women).
The conversation of the bishop with someone is not interrupted by a request for a blessing, but they wait until the end of the conversation. They think over their appeal to the bishop in advance and state it briefly, without unnecessary gestures and facial expressions. At the end of the conversation, they again ask the blessing of the bishop and, having crossed themselves on the icons in the red corner, sedately retire.
outside the church walls
Church man in the family
Family life is a private matter for everyone. But since the family is considered a home church, here we can also talk about church etiquette.
Church piety and home piety are interconnected and complement each other. The true son or daughter of the Church remains so outside the Church. The Christian worldview determines the whole structure of the believer's life. Not touching here big topic domestic piety, let's touch on some issues related to etiquette.
Appeal. Name. Because the name Orthodox Christian has a mystical meaning and is connected with our heavenly patron, then it should be used in the family, if possible, in full form: Nikolai, Kolya, but not Kolcha, Kolyunya; Innocent, but not Kesha; Olga, but not Lyalka, etc. Use caressing forms not excluded, but it must be reasonable. Familiarity in speech often indicates that invisibly relations in the family have lost their quivering, that everyday life has taken over. It is also unacceptable to call pets (dogs, cats, parrots, guinea pigs, etc.) by human names. Love for animals can turn into a genuine passion that diminishes love for God and man.
House, apartment church person should be an example of worldly and spiritual conformity. To be limited by the necessary number of things, kitchen utensils, furniture means to see the measure of the spiritual and the material, giving preference to the first. A Christian is not chasing fashion; this concept should not exist at all in the world of his values. The believer knows that every thing requires attention, care, time, which is often not enough for communication with loved ones, for prayer, reading Holy Scripture. It is a whole spiritual art, spiritual wisdom. Undoubtedly, the spiritual center of the house, which gathers the whole family during the hours of prayer and spiritual conversations, should be a room with a well-chosen set of icons ( home iconostasis), orienting worshipers to the east.
Icons should be in every room, as well as in the kitchen and hallway. The absence of an icon in the hallway usually causes some confusion among visiting believers: when they enter the house and want to cross themselves, they do not see the icon. Confusion (already on both sides) is also caused by ignorance either by the guest or by the host of the usual form of greeting for believers. The incoming one says: “Through the prayers of our holy fathers. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us,” to which the owner replies: “Amen”; or the guest says: “Peace to your home,” and the host replies: “We accept in peace.”
In the apartment of a church person, spiritual books should not be on the same rack (shelf) with worldly, secular ones. Spiritual books are not usually wrapped in newspaper. The church newspaper is by no means used for domestic purposes. Spiritual books, magazines, and newspapers that have fallen into disrepair are burned.
In the red corner next to the icons, portraits and photographs of people dear to the owners are not placed.
Icons are not placed on the TV and are not hung over the TV.
In no case are plaster, wooden or other images of pagan gods, ritual masks of African or Indian tribes, so widespread now, etc. kept in the apartment.
It is advisable to invite a guest who has come (even for a short time) to tea. A good example here is oriental hospitality, the positive influence of which is so noticeable in the hospitality of the Orthodox living in Central Asia and the Caucasus. Inviting guests for a specific occasion (name day, birthday, religious holiday, baptism of a child, wedding, etc.), pre-think over the composition of the guests. At the same time, they proceed from the fact that believers have a different worldview and interests than people who are far from faith. Therefore, it may happen that a person who does not believe will be incomprehensible and bored with conversations on a spiritual topic, this can offend, offend. Or it may happen that the whole evening will be spent on a heated (it would be good not fruitless) argument, when the holiday will also be forgotten. But if the invitee is on the path to faith, looking for the truth, such meetings at the table can benefit him. Good recordings of sacred music, a film about holy places can brighten up the evening, as long as it is in moderation, not overly lengthy.
About gifts on days of important spiritual events
At baptism the godmother gives the child-godson "rizki" (fabric or cloth in which the baby is wrapped when taken out of the font), a baptismal shirt and a cap with lace and ribbons; the color of these ribbons should be: for girls - pink, for boys - blue. The godfather, in addition to a gift, at his own discretion, is obliged to prepare a cross for the newly baptized and pay for the christening. Both - the godfather and the godmother - can make gifts to the child's mother.
Wedding gifts. The groom's duty is to buy the rings. According to the old church rule necessary for the groom Golden ring(the head of the family is the sun), for the bride - silver (the hostess is the moon, shining with reflected sunlight). On the inside both rings are carved with the year, month and day of the betrothal. In addition, the initial letters of the bride's first and last names are cut on the inside of the groom's ring, and the initial letters of the groom's first and last names are cut on the inside of the bride's ring. In addition to gifts for the bride, the groom makes a gift for the parents, brothers and sisters of the bride. The bride and her parents also, for their part, make a gift to the groom.
wedding traditions
If there are planted father and mother at the wedding (they replace the groom and bride of their parents at the wedding), then after the wedding they should meet the young at the entrance to the house with an icon (held by the planted father) and bread and salt (offered by the planted mother). According to the rules, the planted father must be married, and the planted mother must be married.
As for the best man, he must certainly be single. There can be several best men (both from the side of the groom and from the side of the bride).
Before leaving for the church, the groom's best man gives the bride on behalf of the groom a bouquet of flowers, which should be: for the bride-maiden - from orange flowers and myrtle, and for the widow (or second-married) - from white roses and lilies of the valley.
At the entrance to the church, in front of the bride, according to custom, there is a boy of five to eight years old, who carries the icon.
During the wedding, the main duty of the best man and bridesmaid is to hold the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom. It can be quite difficult to hold the crown with your hand raised up for a long time. Therefore, best men can alternate with each other. In the church, relatives and acquaintances from the groom's side stand on the right (that is, behind the groom), and from the bride's side - on the left (that is, behind the bride). Leaving the church before the end of the wedding is considered extremely indecent.
The main manager at the wedding is the best man. Together with a close friend of the bride, he goes around the guests to collect money, which is then donated to the church for charitable causes.
The toasts and wishes that are pronounced at the wedding in the families of believers, of course, should be primarily of a spiritual content. Here they remember: the purpose of Christian marriage; about what love is in the understanding of the Church; about the duties of husband and wife, according to the Gospel; about how to build a family - a house church, etc. The wedding of church people takes place in compliance with the requirements of decency and measure.
In the days of sorrow
Finally, a few remarks about the time when all festivals are abandoned. This is the time of mourning, that is, the outward expression of a feeling of sadness for the deceased. Distinguish between deep mourning and ordinary mourning.
Deep mourning is worn only for the father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, husband, wife, brother, sister. Mourning for the father and mother lasts one year. For grandparents - six months. For the husband - two years, for the wife - one year. For children - one year. For brother and sister - four months. Uncle, aunt and cousin - three months. If a widow, contrary to decency, enters into a new marriage before the end of mourning for her first husband, then she should not invite any of the guests to the wedding. These periods can be shortened or extended if before death those remaining in this earthly vale received a special blessing from the dying person, for the dying goodwill, blessing (especially parental) are treated with reverence and reverence.
In general, in Orthodox families, no important decisions are made without the blessing of parents or elders. Children with early years they even get used to asking for the blessings of their father and mother for everyday affairs: “Mommy, I’m going to bed, bless me.” And the mother, having crossed the child, says: "Guardian angel for you to sleep." The child goes to school, on a hike, to the village (to the city) - on all paths he is kept by the parental blessing. If possible, parents add to their blessing (when children are married or before their death) visible marks, gifts, blessings: crosses, icons, holy relics. The Bible, which, constituting a home shrine, is passed from generation to generation.
The bottomless sea of church life is inexhaustible. It is clear that in this small book only some of the outlines of church etiquette are given.
Saying goodbye to the pious reader, we ask for his prayers.
Notes
Hierarchically, the rank of archimandrite in the black clergy corresponds in the white clergy to the mitered archpriest and protopresbyter (senior priest in cathedral).
The question is how to distinguish them, if not all of them are familiar to you. Some hint is given by the cross worn by the priest: a cross with an ornament is always an archpriest, a gilded one is either an archpriest or a priest, a silver one is a priest.
The used expression "angel's day" is not entirely correct, although the saints are called "angels on earth."
See: Good tone. Rules of social life and etiquette. - St. Petersburg, 1889. S. 281 (reprint: M., 1993).
Among believers, it is customary to pronounce the full, not truncated formula of thanksgiving: not “thank you”, but “God save” or “God save”.
There is no spiritual justification for the practice of some parishes, where parishioners working in the kitchen, in a sewing workshop, etc., are called mothers. In the world, it is customary to call only the wife of a priest (father) a mother.
In Orthodox families, birthdays are celebrated less solemnly than name days (unlike Catholics and, of course, Protestants).
AT recent times I constantly stumble upon facts that speak of the hatred of the common people for the Church, for the "priests" shortly before and immediately after the revolution. In late Soviet times, this hostility degenerated rather into slight contempt for "uneducated, out-of-date, mossy" believers. The priests somehow did not stand out from this gray mass. This is not at all what we observe in near-revolutionary times. The degree of hatred is simply amazing.
Let's remember a couple of Mayakovsky's poems about Patriarch Tikhon. For example, in the poem “When we defeated the hungry famously, what did Patriarch Tikhon do?” the poet writes:
Tikhon Patriarch,
covering the belly with a cassock,
rang the bells in well-fed cities,
shaking over gold money as a usurer:
"Let them die, they say,
and gold -
will not give it back!"
In another poem called "About Patriarch Tikhon. Why the trial of their mercy?" Mayakovsky expresses the eternal claims of the people.
Known:
tsar, sergeant and pop
were friends from birth to death.
The officer, as you know,
observed the purity of the body.
I watched that the man was hornless
from hunger did not engage in sedition,
to blow vodka
to bend the hat
Just a little:
- I'll ask you to lie down ... -
and went to cut!
The peasant's back was decorated with a vlosk.
Already in the Russian forests there are no rods left.
And the priest, as you know (spiritual constable),
watched the sinful peasant soul.
Crow priests croaked from the ambos:
- Grow, they say, the people of the king-loving and submissive! -
This is what the children were taught in school:
These foolish things were called "Law of God".
The priest taught to go to confession often.
The peasant will confess
and pop -
to the precinct.
As you know, in the time of Peter the Great, priests were obliged to report unreliable moods, and even more so about plans for a riot. I don't know how things stood before the revolution, but the peasants no longer believed the priests.
Another popular accusation against the Church, at least among the intelligentsia, was its truly strange silence about the crimes of the landlords. It seems that Herzen mentioned this in his works. In any case, he considered the “Byzantine nature” of the Church to be guilty of subduing the people under the yoke of the authorities. “What kind of people from those who accepted Orthodoxy, from the 4th century to the present day, did she civilize or emancipate? Perhaps it was Armenia, Georgia or the tribes of Asia Minor ... Eastern church penetrated into Russia in the flourishing, bright Kievan era, under the Grand Duke Vladimir. She led Russia to the sad and vile times described by Koshikhin, she blessed and approved all the measures taken against the freedom of the people. She taught the kings about Byzantine despotism, she prescribed blind obedience to the people..." (A. Herzen, Volume VII, p. 233)
Another reason not so much good relationship common people to the priests - their comparative wealth against the background of the general impoverishment of the people, especially during the First World War, on the eve of the revolution. Suffice it to recall Pushkin's "The Tale of the Priest and His Worker Balda", the folk tale "How the Priest Hired a Worker". Even Nekrasov, who does not seem to be suspected of dislike for the peasants, is forced to defend before the reader of his poem "Who Lives Well in Russia" the rural priest, as a poor representative of the people, like his parishioners. According to one of the heroes of the poem, Luke:
Bell Nobles -
Priests live like princes.
They go under the sky
Popov's tower,
The priest's patrimony is buzzing -
loud bells -
For the whole world of God.
Three years I, robots,
Lived with the priest in the workers,
Raspberry - not life!
Popova porridge - with butter,
Popov pie - with filling,
Priest cabbage soup - with smelt!
Popov's wife is fat,
Popov's daughter is white,
Popov's horse is fat,
Popov's bee is full,
How the bell tolls!
The oncoming priest dissuades the seekers of truth, saying that "our villages are poor", the peasant "would be glad to give, but there is nothing", but the priest has a lot of work, sometimes traveling, but no benefits. And there is no respect from the same peasants:
"Now let's see, brethren,
What is the honor of the priest?
A tricky task
Wouldn't it make you angry?
Say, Orthodox
Who do you call
Foal breed?
Chur! respond to demand!
Embarrassed walkers nod at their parents, they say, "after them" is the name of the sacred estate, as they have long been accustomed to.
And now let's look at current situation. Nothing seems familiar to you? What, in brief, are the claims of the "common people" to the priests?
1. The priests are too rich - they "snickered", "roll out on Mercedes", "extortions in temples".
2. The Church is silent, saying nothing about the crimes of power and others like it. O. Vsevolod Chaplin will not be taken as an example, he is rather an anti-example.
3. As before, the priests are accused of merging with the authorities, creating "opium for the people" so that they do not rebel.
And what is the conclusion? The conclusion is very sad, gentlemen.
It is easiest to say that this is just the continuity of propaganda, or the sinfulness of people, which is approximately the same at all times. The worst thing is that there is no smoke without fire, and something in the behavior and worldview Orthodox priests and the laity served as the basis for the then and present accusations.
The church for the most part did not understand anything. The terrible events of the 20th century, persecution, a terrible war, psychiatric hospitals and simply contempt were not enough. Again and again, with perseverance worthy of a better use, we step on the same rake. It is terrible to imagine what else remains for the Lord to do with us so that we come to our senses. To stop putting their own well-being, wealth, satisfaction of personal or state vanity above Christian values.
Questions of external pious everyday life often worry the parishioners of many churches. How to properly address the clergy, how to distinguish them from each other, what to say at a meeting? These seemingly trifles can confuse an unprepared person, make him worry. Let's try to figure out if there is a difference in the concepts of "father", "priest" and "priest"?
Priest - Mr. main protagonist of any worship
What do the names of the ministers of the church mean?
In the church environment, you can hear a variety of appeals to the servants of the temple. The main character of any divine service is the priest. This is a person who is in the altar and performs all the rites of the service.
About the rules of conduct in the temple:
Important! Only a man who has undergone special training and is ordained by the ruling bishop can be a priest.The word "priest" in the liturgical sense corresponds to the synonym "priest". Only ordained priests have the right to perform the Sacraments of the Church, according to a certain order. In official documents Orthodox Church the word "priest" is also used to refer to one or another priest.
Among the laity and ordinary parishioners of churches, one can often hear the appeal "father" in relation to one or another priest. This is an everyday, simpler meaning, it indicates the attitude towards parishioners as spiritual children.
If you open the Bible, namely the Acts or the Epistles of the Apostles, we will see that very often they used the appeal “My children” to the people. Ever since Biblical times, the love of the apostles for their disciples and the believing people was comparable to paternal love. Also now - the parishioners of the temples receive instructions from their priests in the spirit of fatherly love, therefore such a word as "father" has come into use.
Batiushka is a common folk appeal to a married priest.
What is the difference between a priest and a priest
As for the concept of "priest", in modern church practice it has some scornful and even offensive connotation. Now it is not customary to call the priesthood priests, and if they do, it is more in a negative way.
Interesting! During the years of Soviet power, when there were strong harassment of the church, priests were called all the clergy in a row. It was then that this word acquired a special negative meaning, comparable to the enemy of the people.
But back in the middle of the 18th century, the term "pop" was in general use and did not have any bad meaning. Priests were called basically only secular priests, and not monastics. This word is attributed to the modern Greek language, where there is the term "papas". Hence the name of the Catholic priest "Pope". The term “popadya” is also a derivative - this is the wife of a worldly priest. Presbyters are especially often called priests among the Russian brethren.
Before considering how to address the clergy in conversation and in writing, it is worth familiarizing yourself with the hierarchy of priests that exists in the Orthodox Church.
The priesthood in Orthodoxy is divided into 3 levels:
- deacon;
- Priest;
- Bishop.
Before stepping into the first step of the priesthood, dedicating himself to the service of God, the believer must decide for himself whether he will marry or accept monasticism. Married clergy are white clergy, and monks are black. In accordance with this, the following structures of the priestly hierarchy are distinguished.
Secular clergy
I. Deacon:
- deacon;
- protodeacon (senior deacon, as a rule, in the cathedral).
II. Priest:
- priest, or priest, or presbyter;
- archpriest (senior priest);
- mitred archpriest and protopresbyter (senior priest in the cathedral).
Black clergy
I. Deacon:
- hierodeacon;
- archdeacon (senior deacon in the monastery).
II. Priest:
- hieromonk;
- abbot;
- archimandrite.
III. Bishop (bishop).
- Bishop
- archbishop
- Metropolitan
- patriarch.
Thus, only a minister belonging to the black clergy can become a bishop. In turn, white clergy also include ministers who, together with the rank of deacon or priest, have taken a vow of celibacy (celibacy).
“I beseech your shepherds... shepherd God’s flock, which is yours, overseeing it not under compulsion, but willingly and pleasing to God, not for vile self-interest, but out of zeal, and not ruling over God’s heritage, but setting an example for the flock”
(1 Pet. 5:1-2).
Monks-priests can now be seen not only in monasteries, but also in parishes where they serve. If a monk is a schema, that is, he accepted the schema, which is the highest degree of monasticism, the prefix “schie” is added to his rank, for example, schierodeacon, schihieromonk, schibishop, etc.
When addressing someone from the clergy, one should adhere to neutral words. You should not use the title "father" without using this name, as it will sound too familiar.
In the church, the clergy should also be addressed with "you".
In close relationships, the address "you" is allowed, but in public it is still better to stick to the address "you", even if it is the wife of a deacon or priest. She can address her husband as “you” only at home or alone, while in the parish such an address can belittle the authority of the minister.
In the church, addressing the clergy, one must call their names as they sound in the Church Slavonic language. For example, one should say “Father Sergius”, and not “Father Sergey”, “Deacon Alexy”, and not “Deacon Alexei”, etc.
When referring to a deacon, you can use the words "father deacon." To find out his name, one must ask: "Excuse me, what is your holy name?" However, in this way it is possible to address any Orthodox believer.
When addressing a deacon by his own name, the address "father" must be used. For example, “father Vasily”, etc. In a conversation, when referring to a deacon in the third person, one should call him “father deacon” or a proper name with the address “father”. For example: "Father Andrew said that ..." or "Father deacon advised me ...", etc.
The deacon in the church is approached to ask for advice or ask for prayer. He is an assistant priest. However, the deacon does not have ordination, therefore he does not have the right to independently perform the rites of baptism, weddings, unction, as well as serve the liturgy and confess. Therefore, you should not contact him with a request to carry out such actions. He also cannot perform rites, such as consecrating a house or performing a funeral service. It is believed that he does not have special grace-filled power for this, which the minister receives only during ordination to the priesthood.
When addressing a priest, the word "father" is used. In colloquial speech, it is allowed to call a priest a father, but this should not be done in official speech. The minister himself, when he introduces himself to other people, should say: "Priest Andrei Mitrofanov", or "Priest Nikolai Petrov", "Hegumen Alexander", etc. He will not introduce himself: "I am Father Vasily."
When a priest is mentioned in a conversation and they talk about him in the third person, you can say: “Father rector advised”, “Father Vasily blessed”, etc. He will be called by rank in this case not very melodious. Although, if priests with the same names are present at the parish, in order to distinguish them, a rank corresponding to each of them is placed next to the name. For example: "Hegumen Pavel is now holding a wedding, you can address your request to Hieromonk Pavel." You can also call the priest by his last name: "Father Peter Vasiliev is on a business trip."
The combination of the word “father” and the priest’s surname (for example, “father Ivanov”) sounds too formal, therefore it is very rarely used in colloquial speech.
When meeting, the parishioner must greet the priest with the word “Bless!”, while folding his hands to receive a blessing (if the greeter is next to the priest). Saying “hello” or “good afternoon” to a priest is not customary in church practice. The priest responds to the greeting: "God bless" or "In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." At the same time, he overshadows the layman with the sign of the cross, after which he places his palms on his hands, folded to accept the blessing. right hand which the layman must kiss.
The priest can bless the parishioners in other ways, for example, overshadow the bowed head of a layman with the sign of the cross, or bless at a distance.
Male parishioners may also receive the priest's blessing differently. They kiss the hand, cheek, and again the hand of the servant blessing them.
When a priest blesses a layman, the latter must in no case at the same time make the sign of the cross upon himself. This action is called "be baptized into a priest." Such behavior is not very decent.
Asking for and receiving blessings are the main components of church etiquette. These actions are not a pure formality. They testify to the well-established relationship between the priest and the parishioner. If a layman asks for a blessing less often or completely stops asking for it, this is a signal for the minister that the parishioner has some problems in earthly life or a spiritual plan. The same applies to the situation when the priest does not want to bless the layman. Thus, the pastor tries to make it clear to the parishioner that something contradictory is happening in the life of the latter. Christian life that the church does not bless him.
“… Younger ones, obey the shepherds; Nevertheless, while submitting to one another, clothe yourself with humility of mind, for God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”
(1 Pet. 5:5-6).
Usually, the refusal of a blessing is painfully tolerated by both the priest and the laity, which suggests that such actions are not purely formal. In this case, both should try to smooth out the tension in the relationship by confessing and asking for forgiveness from each other.
From the day of Pascha and for the next forty days, parishioners should first of all greet the pastor with the words “Christ is Risen”, to which the priest usually answers: “Truly Risen” - and gives his blessing with the usual gesture.
Two priests greet each other with the words "Bless" or "Christ in our midst", to which the answer follows: "And is, and will be." Then they shake hands, kiss on the cheek once or thrice, after which they kiss each other's right hand.
If a parishioner finds himself in the company of several priests at once, he should ask for blessings first from the senior priests, and then from the younger ones, for example, first from the archpriest, then from the priest. If a layman is not familiar with them, you can distinguish the rank by the cross worn by priests: the archpriest has a cross with decorations or gilded, and the priest has a silver cross, sometimes gilded.
It is customary to take a blessing from all nearby priests. If this is difficult for any reason, you can simply ask: “Bless, honest fathers” - and bow. The address "holy father" in Orthodoxy is not accepted.
"The blessing of the Lord - it enriches and does not bring sorrow with it"
(Prov. 10:22).
If several people come up to the priest for a blessing at once, the men should be the first to apply by seniority, and then the women. If church ministers are present in this group of people, they are the first to ask for blessings.
If a family comes to the priest, the husband comes out first to bless, then the wife, then the children in order of seniority. At this time, you can introduce someone to the priest, for example, a son, and then ask him to bless him. For example: “Father Matthew, this is my son. Please bless him."
When parting, instead of saying goodbye, the layman also asks the priest for blessings, saying: “Forgive me, father, and bless.”
If a layman meets a priest outside the church walls (on the street, in transport, in a store, etc.), he can still ask for a blessing, if at the same time he does not distract the pastor from other things. If it is difficult to take a blessing, you just need to bow.
In dealing with a priest, a layman should show respect and respect, since the minister is the bearer of special grace, which he receives during the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood. In addition, the priest is ordained to be the shepherd and mentor of the faithful.
In a conversation with a clergyman, one should observe oneself so that there is nothing indecent in the look, words, gestures, facial expressions, posture. The speech of a layman should not contain rude, abusive, slang words, which are full of the speech of many people in the world. It is also not allowed to address the priest too familiarly.
When talking with a clergyman, you should not touch him. Better to be at a distance not too close. You can not behave cheekily or defiantly. No need to stare or grin in the face of the priest. The look should be meek. It's good to lower your eyes a little while talking.
“Worthy presbyters who lead should be given double honor, especially those who labor in word and doctrine. For Scripture says: do not load - give a mouth to the threshing ox; and: the laborer is worthy of his reward"
(1 Tim. 5:17-18).
If the priest is standing, the layman should not sit in his presence. When the priest sits down, the layman can sit down only after being asked to sit down.
When talking with a priest, a layman should remember that through a shepherd who participates in the mysteries of God, God Himself can speak, teaching the truth of God and righteousness.
