How to survive a divorce with your beloved husband tips. How to survive a divorce from your husband - what do psychologists advise? Three dilemmas of divorce
Yesterday there was a happy family, but today it is no longer there - this situation is familiar to many women. For most of them, going through a divorce is a difficult test, especially if the feelings have not cooled down yet.
How to survive a divorce from your husband if you still love, but the relationship can no longer be returned?
For women, a break with a spouse is especially difficult, plunging them into apathy or, on the contrary, into an aggressively hysterical state.
Therefore, the following questions arise: are our expectations justified? Are our perspectives and goals religiously the same? Is the person good for my development? For my mental, mental, emotional health as well as safety? Recognize the importance of premarital counseling with a qualified marriage and family therapist and ask questions. Talk to a professional psychotherapist; no imam; no friend. Someone who has the professional training and experience to advise on these matters, draws attention to key points and helps you develop strategies so that you can ensure that you marry the right person and by the will of God, attraction and attraction is not lost even after several years of binding.
Let go of negativity
The most difficult thing is for those who still love, but there is no longer an opportunity to live with a person. As a rule, this situation occurs if the husband is cheating or suffers from alcohol / drug addiction. AT this case divorce is the right decision. However, if you took such a step, continuing to love your spouse, bring the matter to the end. The first thing to start with in order to survive a divorce from your husband if you love is to get rid of the negative emotions that invariably accompany any breakup.
Prepare for your life, not a one-time event
Ask questions that will help you understand your perspective on life and marriage. Often, both parties focus on preparing for the wedding, investing time and money during the first few hours of living together, but not investing in preparing for living together. Pre-marital counseling, talking to couples, reading books, and learning about what constitutes marriage are highly effective interventions that are only found by a few couples. Read books about communication styles of women and men, about the language of love, about successful marriages and how to please each other.
- Don't keep your emotions to yourself. Cry, throw out anger and resentment outside. The more negativity you release, the less of it will remain inside you;
- Don't get locked up. Pulling away from friends and loved ones will only exacerbate your post-divorce depression. Try to be distracted and get support from loved ones during this difficult time for you;
- Get busy. Think of forgotten hobbies, meet friends, arrange trips to the cinema, theater or exhibition. It will distract you from bad thoughts a little.
In a word, in order to survive a divorce from your husband, if you still love, fill your life with new pleasant events and impressions.
Watch the potential and keep things cool
Watch for reactions when the person is upset or embarrassed; it is possible that unconscious reactions become habits that level off. If you don't like something, don't expect it to change on its own. You can still marry him if you like him. However, be very careful when the day-to-day life of marriage can be more troubling than previously thought, and this could be a warning at the beginning that you ignored. If you're thinking of someone you want to marry, don't shout out to the world right away.
Don't take revenge
After a break with her husband, especially if feelings have not cooled down yet, many women have a desire to take revenge on their chosen one. Thus, the ladies hope to kill the love of a man, but this does not work. By insulting your ex-husband and telling nasty things about him to relatives and friends, you, first of all, show yourself not with better side. How to survive a divorce with your husband if you still love and restrain yourself from the desire to annoy your beloved? Try to let go of thoughts about him and forget about the offense, starting to live your life.
Pay attention to the role of your parents and make your own decision
Keep your business private, except for those who matter in the process. Protect yourself and the person from unnecessary chatter. In addition, you are not under pressure from society if you still have to change your mind. Because once you've told half the world that you've finally found a partner for life, it can be harder in retrospect if you change your mind. Parents play different roles, often based on their own experiences, and this can help your marriage or even be a barrier to success.
Don't look for a replacement
The logic of some women suggests that in order to stop loving the former, you need to urgently find a replacement for him. Thus, the girls are trying to kill two birds with one stone - to forget the old relationship and take revenge ex-husband starting dating a new man. But in reality, everything is completely different. As a rule, divorced women begin to compare their current companion with their husband, which is bad for relationships. In addition, fleeting novels and intrigues only hurt more, not allowing the state of mind to stabilize.
Think about the role of your parents in your life. What part do you occupy in your Everyday life and how big will be your impact on your life. Discuss this with your potential spouse during the dating process and ask them about your parents. Will you live with your parents? What is the relationship with parents? What are your partner's priorities and parents? The answers to these questions can help you decide if the future is promising. Remember that you are the one who will make the decision for the rest of your life. Make sure you make the right choice!
Pressure from parents or other people can lead to suffering if you give it to yourself blindly. Take responsibility and make your own decision regardless of how others handle the decision. Because, after all, you live with the right person and share your life with her. Of course, Wali's consent to marriage remains intact, but a mature Muslim should not marry someone he or she does not want.
Start a new life
The best way to survive a divorce with your husband if you still love is to start life from scratch. After the wave of strong feelings and resentment subsides, think about yourself and your plans. With a divorce, your life did not stop and you need to continue to live on, despite the emotional wounds. Try to get used to a new life without a husband and accept yourself for who you are. For many, this is a time to rethink their views on many things and phenomena, to search for the benefits of living outside of marriage, as well as the opportunity to get to know themselves better and increase their self-esteem. Realize your true needs and desires, start making plans for the future and setting goals.
In times of economic uncertainty and an ever-changing understanding of the roles of men and women, it is essential to speak openly about educational and professional issues. What tasks should be specific for the person who is for the woman and for both groups as for the team? Who will work, or both? What about children's education? Who is responsible for what types of housework? Clearly discussing these issues can resolve tensions or unspoken expectations beforehand.
Istikhara prayer
Turn to God in your decision. You may not yet have seen the obvious sign that he is the right person, but you can feel it in your heart. In addition to all the nervous feelings of excitement, your heart can tell you about your feelings and trust in the cause. Someone had the feeling that the person with whom she was engaged was not the same. Several times she talked to her parents and told them about her problems, but her parents convinced her because he had everything she wanted.
If you can’t figure out how to survive a divorce from your husband if you still love, you don’t succeed, seek help from a professional psychologist. The help of a qualified specialist will help you deal with accumulated emotions, restore faith and self-respect, and gradually begin to live anew. In no case do not put an end to yourself and your personal life. It may take you a long time to return to a full life and decide on a new relationship.
Who is allowed to remarry?
She couldn't pinpoint exactly why she felt this way, and she tried to convince herself that her parents were right. After a year, she realized the "pious" and "good" character that everyone came out and saw how he really developed. They divorced, and their parents felt guilty for being a little concerned about their premarital issues. Her heart spoke to her, asking for advice in Istikhara's prayer, but she ignored the messages due to pressure from her parents. Listen to your heart and trust your intuition.
Divorce brings many negative psychological effects into your life. Sleep is disturbed, aggravated chronic diseases, a depressive state sets in, from which it is very difficult to get out. How to survive a divorce without much suffering? This is our article with the advice of psychologists.
How to survive a divorce without stress
Divorce is a difficult test that not everyone manages to pass with honor. How to survive a divorce so that its consequences do not continue to affect your future destiny, so that instead of a broken one, you get a new good life?
After all, love and lust are just one aspect of marriage, and not necessarily a required part. happy marriage. Many couples don't have "passionate" love and are more than happy and successful in their marriages. In addition, even if a person conducts the entire process of choosing a spouse with wisdom, depth and research, it is possible that she will not be happy with the marriage and may be divorced. Choice the right person helps in preparing for a spicy, romantic, compassionate relationship. If both partners are looking for it, this is the first step for many who are moving in the right direction.
Any divorce is a way to get away from those negative emotions and pain that life together with your spouse brings you. Usually a person is inclined to shift all the blame for what happened to the other side, does not want to realize the degree of his guilt, and as a result, carries his unconstructive behavior into the future.
And even if he manages to start a family again, the same situation may arise again. And not everyone has the courage to rationally evaluate their behavior and not try to run away from themselves.
So honestly discuss your own ideal of marriage with your potential spouse and find out what steps are needed so that this path can be taken together. The power to invest for a happy marriage may be stronger in the beginning, but it can become even stronger through God's blessings and the efforts of both spouses. Passionate and enduring love can be real in a marriage, but it requires work, growth, and sacrifice from beginning to end.
The phases of the divorce experience - who is forewarned is forearmed
After she listened to me, she sat down and ate in silence. She guessed what it was. She suddenly became indignant, threw down her fork and shouted at me: “You are not a man!”. We didn't talk to each other that night. I just feel sorry for her! She looked at him, tearing him to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years with me was now a stranger. For her, crying was a kind of release. The idea of divorce, which had accompanied me for several weeks, was now clearer and more formal to me.
Therefore, psychologists advise, before making a final decision on divorce, to try to rectify the current situation and eliminate the reasons that led to it. But if divorce is still inevitable, then:
Despite all the pain that divorce caused you, try to understand that your life is not over, but any life situation can only be beneficial if looked at correctly.
I didn't care, went back and slept. The next morning, she introduced me to the terms of the divorce: she wanted nothing from me - not even a single euro, but she demanded the full attention of a month before the divorce was finalized. She asked that during this month we are making efforts to live as long as possible. Their reasons were simple: our son had a school enrollment in a month and she didn't want to burden him with her broken marriage.
It was clear to me. She asked me to carry her from our bedroom to front door this month, every day, every morning. You are no longer yours, and now my husband, - Leila said contemptuously. My wife and I had no desire to divorce any of our relatives or our friends, as I had a desire to divorce. Our son clapped behind us: “Daddy holds mommy in his arms,” he called love and enthusiasm joyfully and joyfully. His words caused severe pain in my chest.
If you have such an opportunity, then immediately after the divorce, try to change the situation, so that nothing reminds you of a broken family. Go to rest abroad, by the sea, spend some time with your parents. This will make it easier to get through the divorce.
The most important thing is that you give yourself time to recover and recover. If this is difficult to do on your own, go through a course of treatment with a psychotherapist. At the same time, a specialist will help you figure out what you did wrong and how to avoid it in the future.
We have been since his parents, a team that has always been together for him. The second day was a little easier for us. There were little wrinkles on her face, and her hair was slowly shrinking! At night my wife became lighter as the month progressed. Maybe it's because the daily repetition seemed like a workout that made me stronger. One morning she pulled her clothes out of the closet. She tried many parts, but did not find the right one. This made it easier and easier to wear it.
This realization struck me like a blow. She has so much pain and bitterness in her heart and the weight loss is probably just an outward symptom. If this glaring change occurs externally, then how much suffering she endures internally. Our son came at that moment and said: "Dad, it's time to take mom outside." For him, seeing his father was an important part of his life. Her arms wrapped around my neck softly and so naturally.
Often women after a divorce trying to prove to their ex-spouse. But in fact - to herself, that they are very much in demand at this celebration of life, they are trying to find solace in short-term love relationships.
However, this behavior only leads to more disappointment, as one-night stands leave bitterness and sometimes a feeling of disgust in the soul.
But her too light weight upset me. Our son is already in school. Leila seemed to understand everything now, and it was full of seriousness. She gave me a loud slap in the face and slammed the door before she started crying. Without hesitation or even doubt, my decision fled and left. The saleswoman asked me what she should write on the card. It's the little things in your life that really matter in a relationship. It's about appreciating the positive and accepting the partner's small mistakes. It's not really a house, car, possessions, or money in the bank.
shock and denial
Is not appearance and not excitement. What is considered a shared experience, love, loyalty, cohesion, children and family. Material things may be the breeding ground for joy and happiness, but they themselves are not the cause of joy and happiness in life, or even equivalent to it. So make time for your spouse and do the little things that build and nurture your love even more. It does not happen on its own, but requires constant work. May Allah, the Majestic, help you!
· Remember, you are not unhappy, you are a free and self-confident woman who proudly and independently goes through life. Raise your self-esteem, change so much. To make you look in the mirror with pleasure, catch the glances of the men around you.
· Do not lock yourself in four walls, even if you have children. You can always find time to go to the theater, an exhibition, or a friendly party. After all, you now have much more of this time, so use it.
How to survive a divorce and start a new life
Do not drive yourself into a corner and painfully experience a divorce. You are alive, you still have a lot of strength, and you will definitely be able to arrange your life and find personal happiness. Try to set yourself up for positive emotions, but if you feel like crying, do it.
They say that tears heal, maybe they will help ease your state of mind. If you have a person to whom you can cry on the shoulder, invite him to visit. Could it be your mom or best friend, the main thing is that he can really support you and even cheer you up.
Do not call your husband and ask him to come back. It is unlikely that he will appreciate it properly, he certainly does not need your tears and cries. And when you have already been divorced, forget about him, at least for a while. You will have to maintain a relationship in one case if you have joint children. Do not take revenge on your husband by forbidding you to meet with them. Children are not to blame for anything and have the right to see both parents. Get a grip on yourself and start taking care of your life. If one man left you, this does not mean that you do not have the right to a new love. Buy yourself Nice dress, change your hairstyle and go to some mass institution.
Take your friends with you, because together is always more fun. The time you used to spend with your husband is now free and you can spend it however you want.
Even if you have children who require a delicious dinner and mother's attention, do not forget about yourself. You are young, beautiful and energetic. If someone thinks otherwise, do not communicate with him. To make it easier to survive a divorce, put out of your head the dreams of a sudden return of your husband.
Everything, he left and is unlikely to return, at least as he was before. No matter how hard it is for you, do not torment yourself, it is better to turn the page and start your life from scratch.
It will be nice if you go somewhere on vacation or just leave your hometown for a while. A change of scenery is often a good cure for depression and heartache. You will definitely be waiting for new experiences, meeting people and, quite possibly, meeting a new man. Of course, now you do not want to meet a new fan, and even more so start a family. But you can’t be alone either, so don’t lock yourself in, open the doors of your heart. And suddenly the very person with whom you will live the rest of your life will knock on them. Everything happens in life, you just have to believe in it. You are strong and now you know how to survive a divorce and what to do next. Just cut that person out of your life once and for all. Believe me, this is better than waiting for him and looking for fleeting meetings with him.
By the way, women, as a rule, are easier to survive a divorce. The fact is that a woman can give herself an outlet for her emotions in tears and other external manifestations of grief, while men are influenced by the prevailing stereotype that they are obliged to restrain themselves and not show their feelings openly.
As a result, a man may well develop a heart attack, alcoholism or other psychosomatic disorders.
Divorce always brings with it pain, grief and sadness. More recently, you were enjoying life, everything was fine, but now some kind of chaos, uncertainty has come.
A person feels emotionally depressed, he is enveloped in panic, depression sets in. Today we will talk with you how to calm down after a divorce, how you can recover and live in peace again.
The first thing to remember is that divorce does not end your life. Yes, this is a great tragedy, it can change the usual rhythm of life, but life goes on. No matter how difficult it is, put an end to it.
Remember that you still have your whole life ahead of you, forget past failures, quarrels. Strive for what lies ahead of you. Life changes are also important for people.
Don't get mad at your ex
A lot of people can't come to terms with the fact that they're divorced. They continue to blame their ex on a daily basis that he or she is to blame for the breakup. Anger constantly eats such people.
This is anger not only at a former loved one, but also at friends, neighbors, the government. Psychologists recommend leaving the feeling of anger. This will not help you survive the divorce, it will only make you worse. You should stock up on positive emotions, because there are so many wonderful people in the world.
Take the blame off your shoulders
Guilt often haunts. People who constantly continue to blame themselves for the fact that it is they who are to blame for the divorce cannot answer themselves the question of how to calm down after a divorce. They are always depressed, crying.
However, this is also the wrong approach. Stop putting all the blame on yourself. And in general - what difference does it make who is to blame. We need to live on, gain positive emotions, new impressions.
Be confident
This advice is the best way to help you survive a divorce and improve your future life. Often people fall into a state where they think that no one loves them and that nothing will work out for them after a divorce.
Remember, you are an individual, a person. Be confident in yourself that you will still achieve a lot. Now go ahead and achieve your goals.
Remember that divorce never brings anything good. However, if this has already happened, do not despair, life is a wonderful thing. And she will give you many more unforgettable moments, appreciate her and enjoy her. Be happy!
How to survive a divorce from your husband because of his infidelity
The sooner you decide what exactly you intend to do, the easier it will be for you to survive the divorce. Either you will spend a long time waiting for your partner to take pity on you and return, more and more immersed in your memories and experiences, or you will realize that everything is over and that it is stupid to kill yourself while that other one lives and rejoices.
· Of course, if your depression is very deep, you should consult a doctor in order for him to assess your condition and prescribe possible sedative drugs that will somewhat improve the basic background.
However, you cannot do without the participation and support of your loved ones, so that you can survive the state of deprivation that occurs in an abandoned person with less loss.
In the end, no matter how much space in your life is occupied by the person you lost, there are other people in it, which means you can’t put an end to yourself, counting. That you absolutely do not need anyone.
In addition to your friends and family, with whom you can meet and talk, there are many interest clubs and other organizations where you can not only find interesting activities, but also make new acquaintances. Moreover, you should get out of depression as soon as possible if you still have a child who does not understand what happened to his parent and can get severe mental trauma.
· You should not date the person who left you. So, for example, even if he comes to hang a child, try to make sure that you are not at home at this time. If there are any things left, you should insist that he must take them away or put them out of sight.
Many sincerely consider themselves monogamous and believe that there can no longer be another love in their life. This is a wrong judgment, because if a person has the ability and talent to love, therefore, in the future he will still be able to experience this wonderful feeling.
Sometimes in our life there comes a moment when we simply cannot understand why this happened. Introspection and reflection are especially difficult when it comes to the closest and dearest person to us, who simply decided to leave our life. We wonder how to survive a divorce or breakup, and we find it difficult to find an answer to it.
Pain, resentment and fear begin to take over our feelings and emotions, and we really do not know what to do in this situation, whose help to count on and in whose arms shed tears.
How to survive a divorce if you are pregnant
Divorce is always a very hard blow for a woman, and if she is also pregnant, then ... However, it also happens that these seemingly two incompatible concepts suddenly come together.
How to survive a divorce during pregnancy? It is better not to worry about it, but simply to postpone the decision until you have a baby. And it does not matter who initiated the divorce - if you are pregnant, your husband will not be able to divorce you without your consent.
Firstly, all your experiences, and they will be absolutely inevitable during the divorce process, can have the most negative impact on the health of the child.
If, for some reason, you no longer want to be with your husband in the same apartment, you can live this time with your parents, for example. Well, besides, it is possible that this delay will force you to reconsider your decision. Anything can happen.
If you're determined to break up...
Your child's life should be your first priority. This kid is not guilty of anything, and it would be a terrible sin to kill him now. Therefore, don't even let the thought of abortion enter your mind. Imagine how he already lives inside you, moves, breathes and completely depends only on your decision.
· If the divorce initiative came from your husband, rejoice that you got to know him from this side already now. A man who is able to talk about divorce at a time when his wife is pregnant is hardly an adequate person. Ion could not be a good father, nor a worthy companion in your life.
Find yourself loved one who could support you through the remainder of your pregnancy and help you get through your divorce. It could be your mother, sister, father, close friend, anyone. And don't be afraid to speak up. Any feelings held in yourself will harm not only you, but also the unborn child.
Do not blame yourself for anything, even if you managed to maintain visibility family relations, your life would turn into a series of eternal scandals and mutual reproaches.
It is unlikely that this would benefit the child you are about to give birth to. In addition, children usually gain experience family life from what they see before their eyes. Would you like your son or daughter to have difficulties in building family relationships in the future?
· Of course, divorce is always a rather painful process. But you should be distracted by the thought that you will soon have a baby who will allow you to forget all negative emotions.
