How people overcome adversity. How to survive a difficult period in life
In my life, I have faced real difficulties, which are comparable to the loss of a loved one, for example. They are what made me stronger. But I experienced them differently.
The first difficulty is the divorce of parents
It sounds trite, but I was a child, and for me it was terrible. Moreover, the situation was not simple. Not dad left our family, but mom. Now, of course, I understand what's what, but then I could not accept it and put up with it.
It all starts with a safe place to live. It is no coincidence that we recalled earlier about the struggle for places of residence in the state. According to the information released by the Ministry of Education, in July this year, the accommodation opportunities in public houses in Romania are 682 places. Of these, 178 were in Bucharest. According to a report from the National Institute of Statistics, there are more than a thousand students studying in Romania, with the largest concentrations in Bucharest, Iasi, Cluj and Timis. Of these, about a thousand people will go to the capital in three weeks.
When my mother left (there were several attempts before the final break), I cried sobs for days on end, I took the icon and prayed to the Lord that she would return. This did not happen.
Parents broke up forever, and my sister and I stayed with dad. That's how the circumstances came about. Of course, my mother and I saw each other often. I was 12 years old. Over time, everything smoothed out, and we reconciled. I feel better.
The above statistics are a real challenge at every start of the school year. If, however, you are among the lucky ones who, after a fierce battle and stand in humiliating and long lines, secure a place in the state, the bad news does not stop here.
From this disappointment, the idea was born to build the largest private campus in our country, even raised in Regiga. There will be a runway - this is not just a multifunctional site - it will be a field, - the businessman's strategy explains.
Now I even think sometimes that all this is for the best, that it was necessary. A normal family would not work out of them, and children need a calm atmosphere in the house.
Difficulty two - strained relationship with dad
Dad was my tennis coach, dad was my boss at work. It didn't lead to anything good. It was too much in my life. At a certain point, it reached its climax. I could no longer obey him, and he did not want to believe it.
If you're curious about what a western-style campus looks like, you can find more photos here. Time management is an art to be learned. It is very important to learn how to effectively organize your time from college. This will be an important lesson that will be implemented every day for the rest of your life. Especially when there will be moments when you have to share a demanding job with your family while still trying to find a few moments just for you.
In the first year of college, especially, organizing time is very important. You have to leave room for fun, but you can't even leave college work. And if you need pocket money in addition to what you get from home, you will need to find time in the program and part-time. How well you can perform all these tasks is up to you.
Life at that moment was heated to the limit. I wanted to leave and live my life, but I was completely dependent on him. I could not quit either tennis or work, and everything was so tired, I was very tired of the constant fuss.
Finally I made up my mind. She quit professional sports, and my sister and I moved to a rented apartment, we continued to work with my dad. From that moment on, I became the master of my life. I overcame this difficulty myself.
Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Leaving your parents' house is a major change for everyone. This is the moment positive emotions but also very scary. Students build the most beautiful friendly relations and relationships. This is the place where you will have the most beautiful memories if you learn to take advantage of every chance that comes your way. All of your colleagues have been freshmen at some point, and you are certainly not the only student who just arrived at college in need of help.
So don't let yourself be intimidated by experience and knowledge about you as you are, and rather learn to use it. You'll lose yourself on the way to class, you'll walk into secrets they don't want to explain with the simplest of procedures, you'll mess up the buildings in between. Never be afraid to ask colleagues or even teachers for help. You will be pleasantly surprised if you make new friends in the process.
After this victory, I, as it were, got a taste. I stopped being afraid of change. But any difficulty is difficult because it brings with it a number of significant changes.
The spirit of adventurism settled in me. Perhaps it was youthful maximalism. I don't care what it's called, but it made me stronger and more determined.
The third difficulty is the conclusion of a loved one
It is a lengthy, not a desperate process. One of the most important lessons you learn as a student is who you really are. If you're not sure what you want to do after graduation, for example, don't panic. You are not the only one. Try to sign up for as many additional courses as you can, and in doing so, discover what appeals to you the most. Then the major university centers offer countless opportunities for professional training beyond the faculty gates.
From language courses, to acting or drawing workshops, the offer is almost unlimited. Don't forget that the most important experience is exploring the possibilities. The most beautiful memories are born from exploring all the possibilities that life puts in your path. Take advantage of all this. Did you get the opportunity to study for a few months in Europe? Don't think too much! Would he recommend an internship at a reputable company?
This was definitely like losing a loved one. The first decisions that came to my mind were to die, also go to jail, and other decadent ones. But I did nothing of the kind and continued to go with the flow.
A month has passed, and, finally, my adventurism returned. I accepted what happened and accepted it as a given. Then I realized that it was no longer possible to live as before. Life has lost value and gained at the same time. That is, I was not afraid to act, to take risks, the worst thing for me now was not terrible. Only then did real life begin.
Discover the needs of your community and take part in their solution. Volunteering is the easiest way to do this. You will meet new people and you will make many relationships that will help you in the future. Use all your resources.
University campuses have unlimited resources, whether we are talking about libraries with thousands of volumes, laboratories, databases, teachers, assistants, or even colleagues. Use all this and do not miss the opportunity to enrich your knowledge.
Learn how to organize yourself and how to place the important things you need to do first. Organization methods are just as important as the time management methods we talked about at the beginning of the article. And this is closely related. You'll have to navigate courses, student organizations you'll join, old knowledge that's come to the same university center, and new friends you make along the way. Maybe you want to spend a night on the town with your friends, but before you walk out the door, make sure you're up to date with all the lectures and workshops.
The first thing I decided was to leave this city. There was nothing else to keep me here. I sent my resume to different cities. I was invited to the north and offered a good salary. I went there, looked and refused, although the conditions there were very good. I felt more potential.
Then I was offered a job in Novosibirsk with a salary of 100 thousand rubles a month. This is very good. I almost got ready, but shortly before that I met my future husband, who categorically refused to let me go.
Don't forget to enjoy the life of a student. Yes, you have to study, but you have to be content with yourself. These are the most beautiful years of your life, so use them. Don't miss important points, get out of your comfort zone and enjoy life in a large university center. Even if at the end of the year you are left with an overdue fall.
So student life is great, but it comes packaged and complicated. How you deal with them and how well you manage to organize those years will practically determine your entire life. Take full advantage of the opportunities that lie ahead and success will not be delayed.
By the way, I also found my husband on the wave of adventurism, when I had already experienced the difficulty and let go of the situation. In general, I was so relaxed and confident that when we met, I didn’t need anything from him and from the relationship, and this hooked him.
He said that in my eyes there was no look of a predator who preys on men, which most women look at now, this is very attractive to him and to many men now.
In a recent discussion, someone came up with the idea that a large number of divorces occur after the summer holidays. On the face of it, we dismissed this idea because the complete opposite would have to happen. After you get back with your partner - more tan, more relaxed, smile and great memories - why did you get divorced?
But there are couples that return with storm clouds above them, more distant, quiet, sad or furious. The holiday seems to have the gift of pushing sensitive buttons together, so please congratulate yourself if you made it through the long holiday.
That's how it all ended. Or started. See where to look.
conclusions
The most important and important thing that we have is our life. Nothing and no one is more precious than her. Life should be interesting and full of different events. Every trouble can be turned into pleasure. Any difficulty will benefit you and make you stronger. You just have to want. It is worth loving life, and it will reciprocate.
Although they are the common sense things we all know about a healthy couple dynamic, we often forget to apply them. What should we consider when it comes to holidays that strengthen a couple and do not lead to their separation? Don't assume that you know everything about your partner. . Ask questions, challenge him with an item, and listen to him like you do with someone you know for the first time. Even if you have children and want to enjoy free time in a family, the solution is to split your holiday into two parts - a holiday with children and a couple of holidays.
Now I'm not afraid of anything. Now for me the worst thing that can happen is a divorce from my husband, for example. But for this case, I have already come up with such a plot that I don’t even know what I want more.
I'm exaggerating, of course, but that's pretty much how it is.
There are exclusive hotels for adults. Allow yourself to skip your kids and invest in a vacation at two. You can make new friends, do activities you enjoy, or you haven't had the opportunity to do so before. It seems strange to go on vacation together and do something separately, doesn't it? As long as there is no excess, personal space and personal interests can enrich the couple with problems, ideas, conversations, or a new breath of energy. You can support him from the edge, admire and encourage him from afar, you can respect him and provide for the needs of the world.
Each of us has a difficult period in life: when everything is bad, when hands drop, when problems pile up all at once. As if the battery inside you is dead, the resource has dried up, and each step is given with difficulty.
First, you tell yourself not to fall out of the pace, schedule, and lifestyle that you set in good condition. When this no longer helps, you try to stir yourself up and force yourself to move according to the plan.
These are gestures that the other notices. The holiday is a moment for troubleshooting. . The past "deanery" in two cases can bring nostalgia, wonderful memories, moments that united and strengthened your couple. Sometimes it's good to know where you left as a couple and where you got there. Relationships are like a house that you two built, and you can admire it from time to time. You can think of the sacrifices you have made and realize that they deserve it. And you can apply the "comparative term" theory, not to other or other couples, but to your own couple - how you were 5-10 years old, and how you are today.
But when the forces are no longer enough even for this, you begin to finish yourself off with reproaches for the untimely crisis, your own worthlessness and impotence. And this is a direct path to prolonged depression. How to survive a difficult period, if it did come?
Try not to dwell on the negative
How to deal with such a situation? First of all, don't dwell on the negative. Try to remember the positive moments from your life, distract yourself with something, be kinder to others. This will help you tune in to another wave and move on.
If you feel more solid, more affectionate, more devoted, more fulfilled, happy, then all your work has been fruitful. It's time to make plans for the future. . You may find unexpressed desires in your partner, which can lead to an unsuccessful or unplanned referral. In our Everyday life we go out and respond to pressing pressures, needs. As in a company, there is a period of performance evaluation and planning for next year, similarly, a line can be drawn in a pair.
We can look into each other's eyes and ask our partner if he is happy and what he wants, what unfulfilled dream he has for himself or for our couple. Holiday is the most beautiful time years for most of us. How to find strength and ways for everyone to survive this difficult period called adolescence? This time we will talk more about the issues of adolescence adolescence, but most of the thoughts expressed can also be useful for boys raising teenagers. All teenagers should experience changes in physical maturity, seek their new selves emotionally separated from their parents, and become independent members of the community.
Tell others what happened
It is not necessary to talk about what happened to you to everyone you meet and cross. There is an opportunity - go to an appointment with a psychologist or psychotherapist. No - take a notebook or a sheet of paper and write everything down. Describe not only events, but also what you feel. If the situation has caused you a lot of stress, if you are in pain, admit it.Make such notes many times if necessary. And reread it every time. Gradually, you will feel that mental turmoil resolves, and the pain goes away.
However, girls are more likely to experience psychological difficulties, emotional trauma, or fatal consequences such as early pregnancy, anorexia, depression, and suicide more often than boys. Mary Piper, as well as the thoughts and experiences of psychotherapist Alice Miller and insights into her counseling. The beginning of the transformation - the caterpillar becomes a puppet.
The process of developing a young girl into an adult woman resembles the metamorphosis of butterflies, when a small caterpillar becomes an attractive, tired flying drug. Teenage parents often experience pain in the process as a huge loss. Suddenly they see that they no longer have daughters who enjoyed playing bowls, fishing, baking cookies and gently squeezing them before going to bed. Quiet and attentive girls become rude and unpredictable. They used to love to chat, they closed and started to lie and cook.
Feel free to ask people for help
Don't turn down support if it's offered to you.
It is not necessary to perform an act of heroism, coping with life's difficulties alone. This can only exacerbate the situation.
Get rid of attachment
We are often oppressed by feelings because of people or things that we have lost or are afraid of. We cling to outdated relationships and cannot start new ones. That is why such an important place in our lives is occupied by people who have passed away, thoughts about lost job, money, house - in a word, something that can no longer be returned.
But, believe me, in fact, it may not be so important at all! Why regret something that is already lost or leaving your life? It's better to go for something new.
Get rid of guilt
Very often we begin to blame ourselves for making mistakes and as a result everything ended so badly. Or someone around us is deliberately trying to make us feel guilty.
Even if you realize that you are really guilty, be sure to try to forgive yourself. Stop focusing on your mistakes, it will not help improve the situation.
Don't sit back
If something goes wrong, there is no point in feeling sorry for yourself. We need to look for a way out of the situation. The main thing is not to sit idly by. Do at least something, even if you are not sure of a positive result.Is someone seriously ill? Look for a good doctor. Got fired? Look for a new place. No money? Look for new sources of income or where you can borrow.
Have you been thrown? Don't be afraid to make new friends and relationships!
Don't worry if you don't get it right the first time. Keep acting, and sooner or later the situation will move forward.
Charge your batteries
Find access to a resource, to those things, activities and people that help you recover.
If you need a two-hour conversation with a friend, speak up. If you want to watch movies, read books or just sleep - allow yourself this.
If you do not want to see anyone and talk to anyone, lock the door and turn off the phone. Give yourself time for this, because it's important.
Learn a life lesson from your situation
Any crisis or difficult stage always teaches us something. You must listen to the inner voice and understand what needs to be changed in yourself.Perhaps you need to get rid of some character traits or change your behavior. Maybe you should change your priorities.
Remember, difficulties in life are always given for a purpose.
Believe that the bad will pass
Nothing is eternal in this life. Sooner or later everything will settle down, the situation will change one way or another, at least it will no longer look so hopeless. Perhaps you just need to wait out this unfavorable period.
Through failure lies let to success
Only thanks to the blows of fate and difficulties, we begin to move and develop.
Only when we are hurt or scared, we begin to do something.
If everything is good, then we stop in development, we don’t need anything, we don’t want to go forward and we begin to regress.
Engage in self-development.
Difficult stage in life best time for self-development and growth. It is during a difficult period of life that people usually have time and motivation to engage in personal growth and move forward.
