Words of consolation to a man. How to support a man in a difficult period
Trust in a family or in a relationship is already half the solution to any problem, because sometimes not the most pleasant events happen in life, and only those who know him well and control the situation can support a loved one. It is important to consider that men are stronger than women in need of support, no matter how strange it sounds. Let's find out why.
How to support a loved one?
Many problems men prefer to hide from us so as not to upset, or they believe that asking for support is a sign of weakness, and they do not want to look weak, so they convince themselves that they can handle it themselves.
But life can bring such unpleasant surprises that you really can’t do without the support of your beloved woman. And then men, contrary to their beliefs, share their doubts or experiences. Every woman knows how to support a loved one.
You have noticed a dramatic change in the behavior of a loved one. But... If you don't know the reason, don't interrogate or torture. It is very important now to restrain yourself and pause, showing the man that you are there in any case and are always ready to support your loved one;
Having dealt with the cause of men's trouble, it is probably easier for you, as a woman, to see the right decision because the problem affects you indirectly. The prudence of the female mind has no limits. You will definitely see a solution, and not one;
In a calm environment, take a moment to support your loved one, offer your loved one solutions, but do not convince him that you should do exactly as you said. Let him weigh everything himself and choose what is right;
Convince him that any choice he makes to solve the problem is the only right one, he is well done that he was able to make such an important and difficult decision. You knew he could handle it;
Don't be discouraged by any means. You have a lot of responsibilities that no one else can do for you. Yes, and for a loved one it will be better if he is sure that everything in the house goes on as usual. This is his rear;
Help and support your loved one as much as possible. All the time say kind words to him, do not push him away from you, since he is guilty. You must understand that no one is immune from troubles in life, and everyone makes mistakes. Tell your husband more often that there are no impossible tasks, but he is capable and smart, he can fix everything;
When it’s all over, tell the man that you didn’t even doubt for a second that everything would be fine and this is his merit.
How to support the beloved man?
Men from childhood are brought up strong in spirit and unshakable to the manifestations of feelings. But, unfortunately, there come moments in life when even the most persistent native of our men lose heart, and they need the support of their beloved wives and girls more than ever.
And only with complete trust and mutual understanding, men begin to fully open up and share their difficulties with close women. And it doesn’t matter how long you have been married, or your relationship is just starting, it is important that only you can support your beloved man at this moment.
Even in early childhood, we have a craving for parents, because these are not only relatives, but loved ones. And only next to them, any trouble seemed not so terrible and solvable.
It would seem that just a couple of words and a light stroking of my mother's hand on the head will save the whole world. But life goes on, the boys grow up and turn for such “help” to their beloved woman, who needs to support their beloved man.
And even if the men didn't say a word, real woman He will immediately understand everything, he will not ask too much, but will only sit next to him and wait. He will say, he will support, he will not say, he will support anyway.
Several ways to cheer up your beloved man:
Just take his hand and squeeze lightly. It is not necessary to press him all to yourself, it is enough to stroke his hand. Such a gesture does not insist on a complete outpouring of the soul, but shows that you are now nearby, and will always be there to support your beloved man;
Do not immediately ask him to tell him the reason for the disorder, let him be ready for the conversation himself. Just say that everything is fixable and, most importantly, that you are together, and this is already half the solution, they say “one head is good, but two is better”;
When a man shares his problem with you, let him speak in full, without interrupting or asking again. After listening to him, say that in resolving this issue, everything must be carefully weighed before acting and not doing stupid things;
Most importantly, when you tell a man your solution to a problem, do not force him to do exactly as you say. Believe me, he also has his options. Give him time to make a decision, because, after all, he is a man, and supporting a beloved man does not mean making a decision for him;
Convince him that no matter what decision your loved one makes, you will agree with him, support him and stay close;
For the entire period until the man has decided, or until the problem is being solved, try to take part in this process, showing my willingness to help. When everything gets better and gets back on track, tell him thank you for behaving like a real man and made the right choice.
After the essence of the problem is clarified, the woman is able to increase confidence in the success of her man by saying that he can handle everything, and that there are no such problems that he cannot cope with, because she believes in him;
We understood the essence of the problem - do not pretend that you are frightened or shocked, do not throw a tantrum, your goal is to support your beloved man, and not to escalate panic. Women are no weaker creatures than men. And you are able to withstand all the difficulties, to be able to restrain yourself so that your man is sure that he did not make a mistake by telling you everything;
If you, as a wise woman, see several solutions to a problem, gently tell him. But do not insist on the impeccable choice of your option. Say that you will support his choice, whatever it may be;
Do not question his ability to solve everything himself. Specify that you are ready to support your beloved man, but do not plan to order him what to do. But it is very important to tell him that you will help. When a person solves a problem not alone, a positive result is always achieved;
While the man is busy solving the problem, you create conditions so that he does not feel dejected: a delicious lunch, appearance, a pleasant stay;
The main thing is not to lose heart yourself, because then it will be difficult to get you out of depression, and this will affect the whole family. Support each other.
Do men really cry?
It is believed that a man should not openly express his feelings, they say it is indecent, not accepted, they were not brought up for that. But, as life shows, men's tears are sadder and more painful than women's. Therefore, it is so important at critical moments to support your beloved man.
As a child, few of the guys managed to establish such a relationship with their mother when shedding tears was not considered humiliating. Such a mother knew the value of these tears and did not say anything, but simply sat next to her and pressed her son to her chest. But many were brought up in a tougher direction: a boy should grow up as a boy, and tears are girlish worries.
So it turns out that in difficult periods it is difficult for a man not only to shed a tear or explain himself plainly, it is generally difficult to talk about his feelings and experiences.
How to support your girlfriend
There are completely different situations in life, and in many of them you simply need this or that support from the outside. Very often we expect such support from the people closest to us, from the family, from a guy or a girl.
In the event that we fail to achieve the desired and not just desirable, but vital, we begin to slowly but surely move away from each other. If your girlfriend had a misfortune or she just Bad mood, you must certainly support your girlfriend.
How to support a girl is another question. It is about him that will be discussed below. Absolutely all women really want to see a strong and self-confident man next to them, who would literally idolize her, incredibly appreciate and, of course, love her deeply, and in difficult situations could support her beloved girl.
And she, for her part, would give him absolutely all of herself without a trace. It is the full support on his part that shows the correctness of the choice and the reliability of this person. After all, feelings are very good, but you won’t go far on feelings alone. Our life is filled with various events and not always all of them are purely positive.
To support your girlfriend, tell her that in any case you are on her side and ready for any action. This will help her open up and tell you what her problem is.
If the trouble happened through her own fault, do not tell her about it in the acute phase of the experience, you will draw conclusions later. For now, just offer to help, find words that can support your girlfriend in this particular situation.
If the conversation starts, try to look for a solution to the problem with her, two minds are always better than one. Then help her carry out your plan.
To support your girlfriend, try to distract her - take her to some interesting place, change the scenery, make her romantic or text her in the morning "everything will be fine, I know for sure!" or something similar. Such ways to support your girlfriend will not take you much time and effort, but you will be perceived by the girl as a reliable person who you can rely on.
What support does a man want from a woman in difficult moments of life?
Relationships can only be harmonious when loving friend Draga people feel support and complicity at the right time. A man will never let go of that woman who knows how to support a loved one in difficult moments of life. When a man feels bad, support from his beloved will be the best kind of help. But not all women know how to properly express support.
It's not their fault. They just act by analogy with the kind of help that they would like to feel themselves. Meanwhile, the psychology of men is very different from the psychology of women. Men in life are guided by slightly different rules and principles. Accordingly, support from a woman should look different. So, for example, none of the men will like it if a woman begins to show pity, believing that it is she who will act as a reliable support. Pity, even with very good intentions, hurts male pride. A man will not tolerate even a hint that he is pathetic in the eyes of a woman, completely powerless, weak. If in a particular case such qualities are really characteristic of a man, a woman must still demonstrate that he is the strongest for her. This will give the man faith that any difficulties will recede sooner or later.
You should not console a man in moments of despair. The consolation may be manifested in the fact that a woman will begin to look for the "pros" or positive aspects of the problem. But this will only root the man's belief in his own helplessness, and at this moment he wants to feel completely different feelings. If you see that a man is feeling bad, do not deliberately try to cheer him up with something. Sadness still will not be replaced in an instant by joy. And your feigned gaiety will most likely only annoy a man.
Men are arranged in such a way that they must survive all the negativity accumulated in their souls on their own. Do not be too intrusive at such moments. Even if you want to caress a man or somehow please him. Attempts to distract a man from problems will also be unsuccessful. Men are well able to distinguish the true female intentions from those deliberately built. And if you are obsessively affectionate, you will thereby exacerbate the problem even more.
Don't ask the man about what happened. Do not try to find out from him what could upset him so much. If heart-to-heart talks for women can bring relief, then it is problematic for men to share problems with loved ones, frankly. By asking him about the difficulties, you thereby force the man to make an incredible effort on himself.
Therefore, it is better not to pester, but give the man a chance to be silent enough. Indifference on your part in this situation for a man will not be offensive. On the contrary, it will be more useful than depressing questions. Remember the desire of a man under any circumstances to look the most successful and strong in front of his beloved woman.
Believe me, a man does not want to share his failures with you, not because he does not need your support, but for one of the reasons that in this way he will begin to feel his complete impotence. In the absence of knowledge about what kind of support men need, it is better not to try to provide it at all.
One wrong word will push a man away from you forever. Above all, be tactful. Many women, at the sight of their beloved man, in a state of sadness and despondency, immediately “turn the arrows” on themselves, asking the question: “Are you so sad because of me?” If a man is offended by you, he will definitely let you know about it. But do not exclude the possibility that the man at the moment feels precisely his guilt. You should not sort things out, trying to get the truth.
Just give the man the opportunity to be alone with yourself. After a while, he will definitely reach out to you. And if you obsessively climb to him with your unfounded suspicions, you will only make it worse for both of you. It is also not appropriate to constantly express offers of help to a man. It is better not to interfere in the situation at all for a while. Together, you still won’t solve the problems of a man. If a man has made a serious mistake in something, then he will prefer to deal with it on his own without your participation. You are not a mother for him, and he himself is already out of childhood. Therefore, do not try to save him or pull him out of life's troubles.
So you only deepen in him thoughts about yourself as a loser. Of course, problems can be completely unpredictable. And sometimes a woman can really lend help you need. However, in most cases it is better to wait for the moment when help or something specific man ask himself. The desire of a woman to support is quite natural. And if support in practice does not work, then this upsets the woman.
Support from your side should begin first of all with an understanding of what your loved one needs. Watch his mood. Such an observation is sure to give some clues. If, in the normal state of things, your sensitivity to each other is developed quite strongly, then there should be no problems with how to support a man. The correct tactics of action will turn out by itself. Your heart will certainly tell you the right decision. If, meeting your loved one after work, you notice sadness on his face and have no doubt that he is in trouble, then do not show it. Let your behavior be the same as always. However, be sure to watch male reaction. Women usually have an unmistakable guess about whether a man wants to talk, or whether this will upset him even more. If a man answers ordinary questions with great reluctance, it is better to give him the opportunity to retire. Short monosyllabic phrases on his part will be a signal to you that it is better to postpone heart-to-heart communication "for later." In this case, leave the man alone in the room for a while, without drawing him into any conversations. Do not disturb him by constantly checking how he is doing. If a man wants to talk to you, he will definitely start the conversation first. You can show participation by simply being nearby and silently at the same time.
Sit with a man or lie down next to him. If you see a man reading a newspaper, pick up the magazine and silently read as well. If a man reacts calmly to your touches, then they do not interfere with him. It all depends on his individual characteristics. Some of the men quickly calm down if the woman they love massages their neck and back, and someone from even a purely accidental touch will tense up in moments of difficulty. If a man wants you to be closer, he will come to you or sit next to you. The main thing here is not to impose. Even if a man sat down next to you or touched your shoulder with his head, do not regard this as his desire to talk. The man most likely does not want to chat at all. Just let him enjoy the peace in your presence. Cooking for your favorite tasty and satisfying dinner can be considered the right decision. You can brew herbal tea or cook what he especially likes.
Many men intuitively tend to "seize" problems and stress. And it should be noted that this option is by no means the worst. If he does not express stormy delight at the sight of delicious food, be sure that he truly appreciates your care and attention. This will be the best support on your part. For such an attitude towards himself, a man, of course, will be very grateful. Try for good intentions don't rattle dishes in the kitchen, don't start cleaning up as if there's no other time for this, don't ask a man to play with the children, just leave him alone. At the same time, be completely open to the man. He must understand that at any time you will respond to his requests and talk to him if necessary. There are situations when a man has problems, but the woman he loves is far away. You can also support a man from a distance, asking only once a question if you can help him with something.
If he says that you are unable to help, note out loud that he is a great fellow for you, that you see him great power and believe that a solution will surely appear. Be sure to express your approval of any of his intentions and decisions. It is better not to talk about the problem itself, not to get into, so to speak, details. Focus on hidden male resources, which, of course, each of the men has.
By creating an atmosphere of calm, eliminating tension from communication, abandoning obsessive courtesy, you will provide a man with the best support in moments of difficulty. This will not go unnoticed by him, and you will be convinced that the man, too, under any circumstances, will be ready to give you his reliable shoulder.
Every person, in particular a man, has situations in life, the so-called “black stripes”, when it may seem that you are left alone with all the problems and troubles. It is during such periods that support can become the main incentive for resolving all issues. native person who can find the right words, because they are simply necessary in such cases.
How to support the beloved man?
The main problem of misunderstanding between a man and a woman may be the fact that often women misperceive various changes in the mood of their man. If the reasons for a man’s apathy are due to troubles at work, and the wife makes a scandal on the basis of jealousy, then what kind of solution to the problems can we talk about.
It should be remembered that first a woman needs to listen to her husband in order to understand the true causes of the situation, after which she can offer her own solutions, which may be the best way out. When a man sees that his wife becomes a faithful ally and adviser, in most cases this is enough to lift his spirit and start action.
A good support option would also be the creation of an ideal environment in the house, because if there are only problems around, then the house will become a quiet haven of peace for a man. He will be able to relax, rest and subsequently - perk up. Pleasant little things can please a husband - cooking his favorite dish, favorite activities in the evenings, desired gifts, massage, etc. When a man can feel happy at home, this becomes an incentive for any accomplishments.
Words of support for a beloved man in difficult times
However, in addition to the above actions, it is imperative to be able to express participation verbally. But, in this case, you need to choose the right moment and the words themselves so that they bring the desired result, and not vice versa. After all, any careless word can unbalance anyone.
If your husband is not very willing to tell you the essence of what happened, then there is no need to insist - a more convenient moment will come for such a conversation. The main mistake is when the wife begins to regret, while pursuing good goals, but instead adds to the man a sense of insecurity and self-pity. It is best to say in any situation that you believe in your husband, in his strength and stamina, and no matter what happens, always support him. Tips are best left until the time when they are appropriate, because if your man does not ask for your advice, and you are trying to speak out on this subject, then you risk only causing irritation towards you.
If it seems to you that this or that act of your husband is wrong, then just calmly let him know about it. Criticizing men directly is not worth it under any circumstances. A man has the consciousness that he is the head of the family, and a priori he cannot be wrong, therefore he will perceive any criticism addressed to him as an attempt to lower his authority. In this case, the scandal will not be avoided, but this is not a way out of the situation. And especially this advice concerns criticism in front of other people, which can even cause aggression on the part of the husband, because you, as it were, give others a reason to doubt his decisions and actions.
Men always try to be responsible for their actions and keep all situations under their control. Psychologically, such tension is very exhausting, and when some kind of unpleasant situation occurs, it becomes a click to depression.
The main thing for a woman in this case is to try to convey to her husband that his guilt in what happened is not as great as he decided for himself. You can try to give examples different cases when there is no right or wrong. The words that he is not guilty can become the most important support, especially if he listens to you and believes in the logic of your arguments.
How to support a man in difficult times is interesting to many women, because it is not always easy to do. It all depends on the specific situation and the representative of the stronger sex. Each person needs their own individual approach.
How to support a man?
AT difficult situation men are often abstracted. It is quite difficult to find an approach to a person who is used to withdrawing into himself. First, it is important to identify the cause. It is especially difficult to understand the situation at a distance. If a person is dear, then you need to try to gently ask him about what happened. However, you should not immediately bother with a lot of questions.
Do not put pressure on a guy when he is feeling bad. He can completely withdraw. Instead, it is recommended to support him, try to motivate and cheer him up. If a person is in close proximity, then just hugs can help. This will give you a sense of security.
How to support a man? If he is strong and hardy by nature, not used to showing his weaknesses, then it is not recommended to feel sorry for him. You just need to ask more questions about what happened, try to find ways to solve the problem. Emphasize the strength of a man, his capabilities and the fact that he will definitely cope with the current situation.
“How to properly support a man during a period when he has difficulties with professional self-realization? My boyfriend has good job but he doesn't feel happy there. And now he is in a state of depression all the time.
I see how he despairs, trying to come up with an interesting application in life. He has been looking for more than a year and does not find his favorite pastime. Depressed mood has a bad effect on everything else. He is constantly sad at home, depressed. I worry about him and for the fact that I don’t know how to help him find his favorite job.
I understand that a favorite job for a man in life is very important, so my heart is also restless because of his dissatisfaction in life.
Tell me how to behave in such a situation? Love more, pay more attention and warm? Something for him to seek and advise? Leave him alone? I really want to understand how a wise, experienced woman would act in my situation ... "
How to support a man in this situation?
To do this, it is worth understanding what is happening to him, to designate not “difficulties with professional self-realization”, but promiscuity.
And you need to shake your man and not condone the debauchery into which he dived headlong.
What is clear from your story?
With some thought, your man decided that he could sit down and quickly figure out an interesting activity for himself. And this is where it doesn't work. And now he is in anguish, so that everyone can see how important it is for him to have an interesting occupation in life! What is his number one goal! That is why suffering is so bitter and long!
Yes, this, of course, is a passion, how important it is to burn, so that everything can be easily and brilliantly argued, and the society for this occupation would pay off a lot of money. Who doesn't want this?
And now you have to somehow, sitting by the window, dodge and discover in yourself a talent for something and instantly shine there.
Is it real?
From the point of view of an experienced woman, this is an empty idea. You won't be able to instantly shine anywhere. Only where it is planned to invest. And it takes ten years to invest in order to achieve brilliant results. And three or four years to get to the good ones. Therefore, with a running start it will not be interesting anywhere. It's interesting - after all, in the brain of many it is interpreted as "easy". Right?
And on any path you will have to plow, practically not getting results for a long time (recognition and money). And only the most stubborn who are ready to painstakingly improve their professionalism for years and decades will reach the results (an interesting lesson).
Has your man ever moved long and hard towards a goal?
Most likely he had no such experience. Because stubborn men don't get depressed for a year. They sit down, evaluate their opportunities and prospects at their place of work, and if they understand that both are zero, then they make a decision and move to another place. Yes, at the first stage it is lower paid, because there are no skills yet, you still need to learn, but more promising for his abilities.
Depression this man says that he would like to painlessly change one life opportunity for another. Does not develop painlessly. Then he sits and takes offense at life, pretending that he is looking for something in agony, but he can’t find it. Yes, it won't. He is looking for, as it were, so deftly and without pain (without difficulties), so that on a white horse and in sparkles to enter a new life. And this, alas… At moments of fateful abrupt decisions in our lives, there are almost always kickbacks, because we have to go not along the path of evolution, but along the path of revolution: to reject the old and create the new from scratch. It's scary. I would like to somehow attach a closet on the side and so that the house immediately becomes a palace. Yes, it doesn't fit. And so in your head you twist this fantasy project and so on. And everything doesn't pan out. You all sit on the priest evenly and, so that at least some work is visible, you give out suffering to the mountain. Familiar Russian game. We must stop her.
The advice is this: Offer him, like a wise woman, to end the suffering - there is little sense from them, but great harm. Offer to spend your energy on building professionalism in your work. Grip your teeth and build up. Then it will get more interesting. Not in two days, of course. If the work is completely across his throat, then let him appoint another one in three days (no more). Once again I repeat - on the decision three days! After that, he will sit down and analyze what he needs in order to get this other one (it is quite possible that retraining, preparation of a springboard for two or three years), and engage in this preparation.
How can he tell if he loves someone else? No way. We can fall in love with what we have seriously invested in, where we have become aces.
To do this, to become an ace, the best choice is to hammer at one point, not for one year. And spend less time on suffering. Doesn't add this skill to male life. So inform him that this is not the most masculine thing to do, to sit and rot, believing that it looks like "a man is seriously thinking." He rots, but does not think! Here is what you tell him.
Say it with love.
Men think in action. Everything else is not a thought, but an escape from life. And the more a man goes away from life, the more he gets used to being a coward.
Do not reinforce the cowardice of your man! Do not cherish his melancholy and depression. And it’s not even an hour, he will like this game. take away beautiful name“Depression” and explain that this is ordinary cowardice, an ordinary fear of a difficult fate, resentment at life for a difficult fate.
So that he would be less offended and fantasize about a difficult fate, let him read books about those who lived at the turn of the years - read Bulgakov, Solzhenitsyn, Frankl. Then his life tasks will seem like a cakewalk to him.
In general, you have a serious and demanding conversation with your man. I wish you good luck in this conversation, from the bottom of my heart. Don't be afraid, talk. And, if he doesn’t hear, doesn’t understand, will continue to “jelly” and “rotten”, then again, don’t be a coward and end the relationship with the weakling. You still have children!
