I don't want to live like this. If you are tired of the fact of your own existence. Let change into your life
The situation when tired of living can arise for any person: depression, lack of money, meaninglessness or life on someone else's orders always contribute to this.
Agree that you often exist, adjusting yourself to some standards, doing what is prestigious, and not what you need. In this case, life will definitely get bored. But it is quite possible to correct this and return the desire to live. Let's try!
First, the reasons
In order to understand what to do if you are tired of living, you need to deal with the reasons for your apathy.
- So, the problem may be to blame for this, which makes all previously planned events impossible. Another serious reason may be depression, which has dragged on for a long time.
- Our unfulfilled expectations may also be to blame.
- What to do? In the case of prolonged depression, go to a psychotherapist: who knows, suddenly this is not a whim, but an organic defeat.
In the case of unfulfilled expectations, it is important to understand whose they are: someone else's or yours. So, many girls expect to get married and have a child by a certain age, and guys by a certain age plan to get a specialty and make a career. What can I say? In fact, other people set age limits, and we adapt to them. And no one knows when your finest hour will come, or when you will reach such a level of development when you are worthy of a career or a happy family. Just move on if your expectations are not met. Well, and have a spare airfield (two possible) or a spare life scenario. Perhaps your self-realization should take place in a completely different way, and this is also normal.
It is also important to teach yourself to do what you want, and not what your parents, husband or friends require of you. You may not have been able to master this as a child, but if you do this now, you will still have time to change your life. And finally, do not think about how tired you are of living, but just live. There are other ways.
Two wheels
A bicycle or scooter will help diversify life. This is a hobby, and extreme, and movement (an excellent prevention of depression). It's you who are so angry because of the lack of bicycles, really. Try to go on weekends on a two-wheeled friend somewhere to an interesting place in your region: five hours there, excursion, five hours back, and the joy of life will return to you.
drop everything
At least for a short time. If you are single, nothing prevents you from selling your property and moving to the city where it is convenient for you. Or collect money and go on a trip for at least six months.
If you are a family person, change the environment often, but not for long. You can do it with your family too. So yours family life will be varied.
let go
If you don’t have the opportunity to quit everything, let go of the current situation. Well, what can be changed? So, there is no need to torture yourself. In life, everything is natural for us, so it remains only to take everything for granted.
Live for someone
No matter how fed up, know that there are those who need you. If no one is around, try helping someone you don't know or getting a pet. Know that while they are small, they need as much attention as small children. And then they will become your real friends, and you will have interest, and with it a new social circle.
Start a hobby
No matter how trite it is. Yes, even if it's trite. The most important thing is that the hobby should be, if not creative, then at least aimed at at least some kind of creation: if you feel like a creator, then this feeling can be transferred to your whole life. And if it is in your hands, then you can change it so that it cannot get bored.
Another boring platitude
It's about setting goals. This topic is stuck on the teeth and they write about it in all psychology journals: a big goal, etc. Can you suggest an alternative? Set a small goal for a certain period of time and do everything to achieve it. You can also come up with a reward. So you will definitely return interest in life at least for a while, and then we'll see.
Be sure to make changes in your life
And just in everyday life. Be open to new experiences every day. You don’t need to skydive or do anything else extreme, but you can add interesting things to the menu: cook dishes from the peoples of the world, for example. You can change something in your home. It is not necessary to overhaul, but new curtains or a bedspread are also an adjustment. Add interesting accessories to the room as often as possible and take out unnecessary trash from time to time.
Do only what you love. You can have it in parallel with work. If desired, your favorite business can become a source of such income, in front of which your salary will seem like baby talk. Look for your favorite thing, do not be afraid that it is not profitable for someone, experiment ...
Ask yourself questions
We take a piece of paper and honestly write the answers to the following questions:
- What causes the most negative emotions and what do you want to get away from?
- What do you want most and what do you enjoy doing?
If possible, avoid as much as possible what causes so many negative emotions. If this is a husband or wife, then it is better to disperse: there will still be no happiness. If you have a job, you can either leave, or look for a pearly grain of positive in it. So, one dentist hated his job, but was happy when he did teeth for young women: a woman's smile helped him live.
In the second paragraph, you can make a list. Now cross out everything that you can call secondary. That way you get what you really want. Let it be a couple of lines.
But the main thing is not a day without a new experience. You can even go to a boring job every day on a new road, and this is no longer a routine. You can wake up every day differently and drink coffee differently. Or don't drink coffee at all. If we are tired of living, it is because we do not know how to live beautifully and interestingly.
Hello! My name is Yana (I hate that idiotic name), I'm 25 years old. I was born in a complete family, my father left me and my mother, then he died (I don’t know why). My grandmother took me from my mother. This started a nightmare in my life. She hated me, called me a freak, a degenerate, a half-monkey. She scoffed, she could raise her hand. Every day of life was torture. I constantly thought about suicide, just to get rid of this horror. But I really wanted to live, so I held on. I persuaded myself to live for another day, in the hope that everything would change. Has changed. She died. Almost 10 years have passed, and I'm not feeling well. I could not really find a job, learn, get a profession. I'm afraid to leave the house once again, I'm afraid of people. I am ashamed of my ugliness, insignificance, and in general of my existence. I constantly have nightmares. Everything I do is doomed to failure. For example, for two years I did not have a warm jacket. This year, with difficulty, I managed to save money and buy it for myself. The joy was short-lived, it turned out that she was with natural fur. Others are deceived by slipping them a fake instead of a real one, but for me it’s the other way around. It turns out because of such a creature as I killed the poor little animal. This story was the last straw for me. AT recent times I feel old, very, very old. I'm tired of living, I can't take it anymore. I do not want. Tired.
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Nobody, age: 25/11/11/2015
Responses:Hello Yana. You know, you have a wonderful name. And I'm sure you're a wonderful person too. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to support, I don’t know how to speak plainly, only write a little (I’ll only say from my own experience. There are both ups and downs. You need to look for only the positive in every event, even if others see the dull. the other, wearing real fur, thinks about the fate of the animal? Hardly! And you excelled, and you are smart! Do you know how happy this animal would be that she is remembered and she gives you warmth for this. Take it as a keepsake from (after all, we carry gifts from people dear to us, even from those who have already died). And about my grandmother. You can’t let go of the past, it’s just that. And letting go, you will enjoy every moment of life. I have a conflict with my mother on a different basis "But I understand that I need to accept her for who she is and the conflict will go away. I'm working on this, step by step. Jan, don't be discouraged! I'm with you! The whole world is with you! And people who spoil the mood make things worse in the first place yourself!
Dima. With sincere respect and love. , age: 27/11/11/2015
Hello! Here, please watch this video, I hope you will no longer worry so much that you have a jacket with natural fur:
Honey, so 25 years old is not too late to start something! A girl is studying at my university a year older than me, she is already 30 years old :) She is a full-time student! And she's all great! Participates in events, lives full life! Come on and you! There are many places you could go. Do not be afraid of anything! Be sincere and easy, behave naturally.
What deformity can we talk about? We are all creations of God. So we are already beautiful.
You need to develop, read more books. Yana is such a beautiful name! And quite rare now, I think.
Strength to you and patience! I hug
Ksyu, age: 19/11/11/2015
Hello Yana! At this age, you can already take responsibility for your life! Even the name can be changed, you just have to wait a bit for the change of passport data. What was in childhood, you can not change, but you can change the present. You yourself know perfectly well what it is from childhood that haunts you. Work through these situations. Look at them from the position of an ADULT person, referring to the other side of your personality - to a CHILD. In every adult, everything is basic from childhood, from a child. You are well done for holding on, despite this attitude of your grandmother. But it's gone, and you're suffering. Try to understand WHY your grandmother acted the way she did. Yes, it is difficult, because you were an innocent child, and she is an adult who must be aware of what she is doing. Think maybe someone treated her the same way? Understand that this does not justify her, but it will be easier for you to understand her. Rigidity breeds ruthlessness if injuries are not healed. And now you are just as cruel, only... TO YOURSELF! Give yourself an account. Consult a psychologist to make it easier for you to communicate with people. around a lot good people ready to help. The fact that you could not get a profession is fixable, often it is not connected with a diploma, there are many books about vocation, stories of brilliant people without an appropriate education. You can do a lot, a lot, even if you do the most ordinary work. As for dreams, they are a reflection of what is in the head. Fall asleep with a feeling of love and forgiveness: love, forgiveness, peace of mind, work on yourself will give you pleasant dreams. Not right away. Gradually, positive dreams will appear more and more often than negative ones. Do not stop this work on yourself. As for your jacket, are you warm in it? Is it soft, cozy, does it protect you from bad weather? Does she decorate you? Be grateful. But the animal cannot be returned, but you can be warm, appreciate things and enjoy life. Love what is given to you, look for peace within yourself and pleasure from imperfect things, you have the main thing - your life, which only you create at the moment.
Katya, age: 21/11/11/2015
Yana, you can't think like that. Have you tried to see a doctor? to a psychiatrist? Or have you ever visited the Temple? The only thing I can tell you is that you have to fight on your own, no one will do anything for you. Such conditions have two ways out: 1. drug treatment (in case of endogenous depression or metabolic disorders in the brain, serotonin is not produced) 2. Development of spiritual life through religion. It is worth trying to go to church first, to confession. There are almost always youth clubs in the parishes - there you can find a normal human communication. Try it. Only you can do it. I am also 25 and have similar nonsense in my head; This must be done through "I don't want" and "I can't". Do not give up! And you are not the root cause of killing an animal - do not drive yourself.
Natalia, age: 25/11/11/2015
Hello! Yanochka, in vain you are so, very beautiful name you have quite a rare and feminine! You are still young, it is too early to sum up and put a bullet point. Have not learned - so do learn, did not find Good work- search! And you don’t have to be afraid of anything, you have to build your life, the future, no one else will do it for you! You feel older because you are sitting at home! Try to become a little more active, go in for sports, sign up for fitness, dance, go to the pool. Meet new people, communicate, go to the cinema, theaters, exhibitions. Find friends and girlfriends on the Internet. Do not be sad, develop and strive to change yourself and your life.
Irina, age: 27/11/11/2015
Hello. I'm brief but to the point. It's a miracle to treat animals like that. Well done! In general, you know, the whole problem is in your thoughts. It is necessary to deal with them, analyze, sort them out and stop not loving and limiting yourself. You are a good girl. Your time has come. Be happy!
Dima, age: 26/11/11/2015
Yanochka, I think that you are very good man, kind, since you feel sorry for the poor little animals). You had a difficult childhood, that's where all the problems come from. But 25 years is not the end of life. I don’t know how to speak beautifully, but if you knew how I sympathize with you and sincerely wish you happiness! Life is still life, and we did not create ourselves to spontaneously leave it. We must endure, spit on everyone and live in spite of everything. And create happiness, with sweat and blood, remember every moment. Need to live. everything will work out for you. Let your grandmother go, mentally forgive her and you will see how it becomes easier on your soul. Believe me evil people first of all, they themselves suffer the most. Happiness to you.
Anya, age: 20 / 12.11.2015
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How to get rid of fear
Spiritual weapons against fear
It is in churchness that a person finds peace, tranquility, and confidence. It’s different for everyone, but I know for sure that before I came to the Church, before I became a conscious believer, by my nature I was inclined to worry, worry, and the state of anxiety, the expectation of changes for the worse was very inherent in me. I remember that I often could not get away from this anxious state. But with my churching, when at first I became just a believer, I was baptized, I began to read prayers, go to church, go to confession, this state disappeared. To say that now, when I am already a priest, anxiety is completely uncharacteristic of me, it would not be true. It happens that I worry and worry about what I shouldn’t worry about, but this is already completely different, incommensurable with how it was before.
What should I live for? I constantly think about suicide. I am completely alone, never understood by anyone. One on one with your black hole instead of a soul...
Do not want to live. It is not clear how to justify this life. There are no answers to the questions: “Why do I live? What's the point of this? If I am only a particle in this world, neither life nor death of which decides anything ... ”The finiteness of life makes everything meaningless, brings any of my thoughts to a dead end.
I don't have a goal. No interests. No desire to do anything. Nothing brings joy. Food is tasteless, sleep is torment. I can't sleep at night, I can't wake up in the morning. And every day I hope to die in my sleep. I don't even have the strength to lift a finger.
From the point of view of an ordinary person, in principle, everything is fine with me. But I feel unbearably bad.
The outside world still demands something from me. Snarling, trying to win back personal peace. I want to close myself in the room, and so that no one climbs. But the desired loneliness does not bring relief. The head becomes even heavier. Life is boring. Nauseous. Painfully.
There are only idiots around who live by their idiotic rules. It's just that none of the people around me dare to think about the meaning of what is happening. So they rejoice in food, rags, stupid jokes, empty chatter.
In moments of despair, a fierce hatred for everything that exists rolls over. And the only desire left is to end the torment. Wish to die.
What should I live for? I constantly think about suicide. I am completely alone, never understood by anyone. One on one with his black hole instead of a soul.
Why does the soul hurt so much?
More precisely, not the soul, but the psyche.
Man is the principle of pleasure. We live desires. When I want, but I don’t get it, I experience emptiness, pain. Desire grows, but there is no fulfillment. A person is struck by energy deficiency, exhausted irritation, apathy, depression sets in, thoughts of suicide do not leave.
Sensual and conscious comprehension of the meaning of life is the main desire of people with a sound vector. Only for them the question of the meaning of life is a matter of life and death. The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals the nature of the unconscious, the reasons for the throwing of the owner of the sound vector, one of the eight vectors, the only one who does not care about material life.
Their main interest is what's inside? - what is the purpose, the root cause, the essence. Soul, my I - that's the subject of their research and endless night thoughts. Depression occurs where these questions remain unanswered. Depression and suicidal thoughts, like the hunger of the soul, are pushing to find out: “Why am I living? Who am I? Where did I come from and where am I going? What is the meaning of existence?
Finding answers that are mathematically accurate and unmistakable, sound engineers comprehend life consciously. This brings people with a sound vector enjoyment from the realization of their own desire. Along with this comes a sensual understanding of the meaning of life, its justification.
And not finding answers, not filling his own “I want”, the sound engineer experiences the suffering of the soul. The psyche is writhing in pain, turning a person's life into hell.
Suicidology as a state of mind
Life without enjoyment is devalued by a sound engineer. Thoughts do not leave my head: “I will die, my sense of the world will die. A world that brings so much suffering. Everything will end, blissful peace will come. Gradually, the desire to die gains strength until it grows into a confident decision to commit suicide.
The soundman associates his "I" with the soul, and perceives the body as something alien to his own nature. Wishing for death, in fact, a person with a sound vector wants to free immortal soul from the mortal body with its obsessive needs. But he is mistaken: the body is not to blame for the suffering of the psyche.
The nature of the sound engineer, the unfilled "I want the meaning of life" pushes a person either to put an end to his own existence, or to make an effort towards self-knowledge.
If you are tired of the fact of your own existence
Not finding answers again and again, disappointed, a person loses the desire to try to find. But he always has a choice: to lose the fight with his own nature or to win pleasure from life. As many people have already done, who have gone through the same difficult thoughts and states that you are now. Hear what they say:
Read what they write:
“I came when it became completely unbearable. The pain of being alive. If you try to describe it, then it was just a hell of a pain from the very fact of life. I vehemently hated the fact that I had to live. I hated myself, my body, my thoughts, everyone around me, the sunlight and the day in general.
... The training ended.
Since I came to it, I have never wanted to go to the next world ... These thoughts no longer cause any enthusiasm, rather, on the contrary, a complete feeling of error ... Acceptance of life has come ... I accepted the fact that I live with all my heart . I feel alive. I feel that life is happening to me, or something, that life is happening here, what is it for real that I am inside life, that I am part of life. I myself open the windows from the curtains even. And the most interesting thing is that it happens, as if by itself. It's like it's always been that way."
“And now, out of hopelessness, I began to conduct my own countdown of life. I gave myself the last 50 days of my life. Just imagine, he voluntarily passed a sentence on himself, and quite consciously. … As soon as I went through the sound classes, a certain discovery appeared. It was as if they extended a helping hand to me in this pitch darkness, pulled me into the light and said, "Live."
System-vector psychology removes suicidal thoughts. For one reason - this knowledge of the mental fills the sound desire to know one's Self and the pain of incompleteness goes away.
The process of knowing one's Self turns out to be a process of comprehending the nature of a person as a whole, a sound engineer reveals not only his place and role in this life, but also realizes the place of everyone, the whole picture of life, where each person and phenomenon has meaning and meaning.
By revealing the unconscious, the structure of one's own psyche, a person comprehends his life, and this changes everything! You are forming a new consciousness, a new worldview, where there is simply no room for suicidal thoughts and depression. This is something completely new that Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology offers. Register for free nightly online trainings at the link to take the first steps towards your real self:
The article was written based on the materials of the training System-Vector PsychologyThere are moments in every person's life when he is overtired. In this case, life ceases to have a certain meaning. What to do if you are tired of living? Look for the reason!
What to do if you are tired of living
The presence of a problem that makes it impossible to further, previously planned events.
Life according to a pattern, generally accepted standards that are alien certain person.
Protracted depression.
Often we plan ahead all the events in our lives based on our own desires. A striking example would be the desire to get married before a certain age and give birth to a baby for a woman, or career growth in a certain activity and a certain family model for a man.
However, we do not always get what we want, and if we do not get it, we fall into despondency and longing. The most convenient option in this case is the availability of an alternative. You should think about how you can get something else if it is not possible to get what you want. So there will be no panic, but there will be a ready solution to get out of this situation. There should always be multiple options.
What to do if you are tired of living? It is not uncommon to find cases where society or a certain group of people has a huge impact on our behavior. Constantly adhering to someone else's opinion means living someone else's life. For example, parents consider it wrong for their child to want to go to university and then work as a teacher.
The argument is undeniable - a small salary. Thus, the child receives a completely different specialty, to which he does not have a soul. This leads to the fact that all his life he regrets his choice. Moreover, when deciding where to go, a person may not feel obvious pressure, but his idea of the future has already been formed due to the opinion of his parents.
Therefore, you should teach yourself to do only what you want. Never start doing just that.
No one is immune from depression. The further, the more common is this mental illness. If you suspect that you have depression, you should immediately contact a specialist. He will prescribe the necessary course of treatment and help to avoid consequences in the future. Learn to enjoy life again.
What to do if you are tired of living? We need to think about the fact that there are too many people on our planet whose life is much more difficult than ours, but they find strength in themselves and cope with the problems that have arisen.
What to do when life is boring?
However, changes can also be made in everyday life so that thoughts of boredom do not arise. There are several ways to do this.
1. Make possible changes in daily life
This is much easier to do than it seems at first glance. The simplest method is to change the route to work and the method of transportation. You can just get off one stop early and walk to your destination on foot. You should go without plugging your ears with a player, but enjoy the sun or rain, people passing by and especially funny kids.
2. Let change into your life
You should abandon what you are used to and experiment more. You don't have to cook the same food. There are a lot of new recipes, and it is always a pleasure to please loved ones with an unusual and tasty dish. What to do when life is boring? Useful changes in intimate life. Romance has never left anyone indifferent, so pleasant music and aromatic candles will create a magical atmosphere and cheer you up.
Changes can also apply to housing. It is not necessary to rush to extremes and start repairs. Sometimes getting rid of the accumulated rubbish and new little things in the form of a bedspread or new curtains can work wonders. This also applies to clothing. New accessories in bright colors will make the image new and unique. Psychologists have long noticed that color has an amazing effect on a person's mood.
3. Be selfish
AT Everyday life each person has a large number of responsibilities that put pressure on the psyche and eventually contribute to depression. In order to prevent the occurrence of the disease, you should take care of your life in advance. Many people have good intuition. It shouldn't be ignored. The rules of good manners force you to restrain emotions. Excessive tightness harms the state of the whole organism.
4. Learn to enjoy life and appreciate it
There is one useful game. Any problem has a worse version. Finding it, you can learn to enjoy what you have.
How to get back the will to live
"Hello! I have such a problem: the desire to live is completely absent, I see no meaning in life. Every morning on the way to work, I ask myself the question: “Why? What is the sense of life?" I come home with the same question and, not finding an answer, I just go to bed. I feel like I need to change something in my life, but I don't know what. I try different options, but none brings me satisfaction, peace and tranquility.
For every answer I find, I immediately have a counterargument, and therefore I don’t move, I don’t do anything. I can't concentrate on one thing, I can't catch the ground under my feet. In the evening I just want to lie down and die. I feel that I am on the verge of a breakdown, and I see no way out of my terrible state. How to return the desire to live?
Marina Eremeyko.
I'll tell you a little story about how to get the will to live back. "Who knows why, can survive any how." This phrase belongs to one of German philosophers. She became known thanks to V. Frankl. At a very young age, he ended up in the Auschwitz concentration camp, where he spent about three years.
Inhuman conditions of existence, hunger, every minute anxiety that you will be the next to be taken to the gas chamber, betrayal, humiliation, cold, death of friends - this is only part of what he had to endure.
But he survived it and remained a Man - as best he could, he saved and supported his comrades, risking his life in the process. He didn't give up. He lived until the age of 92. He wrote many profound works that were translated into 30 languages of the world. He created a new direction in psychology and traveled the whole world with lectures.
Such people as Pope Paul VI, X. Clinton, K. Jaspers and others were looking for meetings with him. He is put on a par with such bold thinkers as Socrates and Giordano Bruno. What helped him survive all these losses and hardships and live? he had the meaning of life. Something worth living for.
Once in the concentration camp, he took with him the manuscript of his book with the first version of his future doctrine of meaning. His concern was first to preserve it, and then, when this failed, to restore the lost text. and he hoped to see his loved ones.
After his release, he learned that all his relatives (for the sake of whom he did not leave for America and thus did not escape from the concentration camp) died. But this did not harden him (later he would write that one of the meanings may be the value of the relationship - if we cannot change the situation, then we can change the attitude towards it). He called this "stubbornness of the spirit" - the ability of the spirit to go through all the suffering of the body and prevent the discord of the soul.
I want to ask you, what happened to your spirit? To return the desire to live, remember: your happiness and your success depend only on you!
If we consider that a person is the same brainchild of nature, like the rest of the living beings known to us, then he is to a certain extent endowed with the same qualities as they are. If we consider that animals are not endowed with such a mind as man, then their only point of contact is instincts.
As a rule, two basic instincts are distinguished in a person: the instinct of self-preservation and the instinct of procreation, that is, reproduction, which, in turn, are made up of many instinctive factors. Moreover, these two instincts are interconnected.
The instinct of self-preservation includes the following sub-instincts: nutrition, growth, respiration, movement, that is, those necessary vital functions that make any organism alive. Initially, these factors were very important, but in connection with the development of the human mind (I), these factors as vital ones have lost their former significance.
This happened because a person had devices for obtaining food, he began to use food not only to satisfy hunger, but also to satisfy the greed inherent only to man. Over time, food began to get to him easier and easier, and he began to spend less and less time on its extraction. Man began to build dwellings and other devices for himself and secured his life to the maximum.
To return the desire to live, remember: the instinct of self-preservation has lost its significance, and the instinct of reproduction, or, as Freud calls it, libido, has come to the fore. Such human aspirations as aggressiveness, the desire to advance, which previously belonged to the instinct of self-preservation, according to the second law of dialectics, passed into another quality, that is, they passed into "libido". The desire to get ahead, or leadership instinct, has become one of the most significant.
Remember the words of Marina Tsvetaeva: "Success means being in time." To have time to do what you feel is destined for you by fate. Indeed, for such a short period of stay on earth, a person needs to be in time. Understand yourself and realize your potential. It is no coincidence that by the end of their lives, many regret the missed opportunities: they dreamed about the wrong thing, did the wrong thing ... And hence the various diseases, sometimes incurable.
After all, dissatisfaction with one's work may not be expressed externally, but may be seen inside in the form of some kind of illness. The absence of this “instinct” in human nature gives rise to a vacuum, whose product may well be some kind of dark theory like Raskolnikov’s about “trembling creatures” or “why create if you can take away” and so on.
Yes, and people who are obsessed with satisfying their sexual instinct are not satisfied with the instinct of leadership, they simply do not have an interesting business for them. But with all this, every person has the opportunity to realize himself. It would seem that it is necessary to start with a trifle - to accept yourself as you are, with all your imaginary and real shortcomings, with your abilities, and even, no matter how difficult it may be (especially for a woman), with the appearance given by nature.
Is it possible to return the will to live?
Audrey Hepburn (revered by many as the standard of female beauty) believed that beautiful eyes should radiate kindness, and lips become beautiful only when kind words are spoken. That's all wisdom. Why is accepting yourself the way you are so essential to success?
To return the desire to live, remember: for most losers, their self-image does not at all agree with the opinions of others - colleagues or superiors. Very often, men suffer from such a mismatch between “ambition and condition”. In many ways, the parents who raise narcissists are initially to blame, who then think so that everyone owes them everything.
One of my acquaintances, a man with an excellent legal education, has been continuously changing jobs for many years, and nowhere “could he be appreciated”. Moreover, he was always looking for a place not in his specialty (in a company for the resale of consumer goods, and so on).
Initially, this man made a good impression: smart speech, good manners. Then, having already settled down, he began to demand an inflated salary, a car, various benefits and exceptions. And after a very short time, it became clear that, apart from ambition, there was nothing in this worker. Over time, the unfortunate careerist began to drink (due to constant misunderstanding and rejection of his wonderful business qualities) and now he is sitting without a seat again. It is already difficult to take it as a courier ...
To accept yourself, you must accept the world- with understanding and gratitude, and most importantly, the way he is. And you need to perceive it quite clearly, for which intuition and insight will not interfere. For some reason, it is believed that for the sake of a successful career, it is necessary to go over the heads, thereby showing that you are ready to fight, you are militant against the whole world. It is useless: the world will answer you the same.
Who will overcome whom - do not go to the grandmother, it is clear from the very beginning. But you need to fight with yourself, your complexes and problems. Constant striving for self-development, healthy ambition and self-improvement are the conditions for success. For example, train the ability to express your thoughts well, which is necessary in any activity. “What is it, in your resume you are such a wonderful specialist, but you really can’t tell about yourself,” is a typical phrase of an interviewer conducting an interview.
It is important in the process of self-realization and independence from the opinion of the majority. This is not about a disrespectful attitude towards other people, but only about a kind of autonomy of one's deeds and actions. Being constantly in a team, a person necessarily falls under its influence.
In order to return the desire to live, remember: in order to develop independent thinking and even wisdom, which are indispensable in the process of self-realization, you need to take a break from the public at least for some time. One of my acquaintances, a big businessman, goes out to the mountains alone at least once a year for several days. He would not trade this mountain therapy for anything, because, according to him, “time seems to stop there, problems disappear, and only one thing remains - the stunning beauty of the earth.”
Are you familiar with the situation when colleagues condemn you for wanting to move to another company, they say, something is missing here? And you have long grown out of your position and you are simply not interested. Or pensioners on a bench condemn a certain Ekaterina Vasilievna from the tenth apartment, who is “hunchbacked” at work.
But Ekaterina Vasilievna herself feels great and does not complain either about her health, or about the weather, or about the fact that she does not have enough bread and meat. She simply has no time to do this, she passes on her experience to boys and girls, and she herself is getting younger with them. The concept of "independence" also includes a calm attitude to the position and various awards.
How to return the desire to live? If for you in the first place in terms of importance is internal satisfaction with the result of your work, this is the main indicator that you are on the right track. But you can be satisfied with yourself even after a not entirely beautiful act, there are a lot of such examples ... Therefore, do not forget about ethics.
As for inner satisfaction, without it there is no real success. How many people in a moment of frankness cried that they were not as good as it seems from the outside, they were not so successful, but, on the contrary, devastated and unhappy. Only the poor want to be rich, and the rich want... to be happy. But is it possible to be happy when a job, albeit a very prestigious one, as they say, is neither mind nor heart?
Try to find a hobby. For example, one major politician once admitted that he likes to pickle cabbage. Try to find it at work the good side. One dentist said that he likes to put teeth in young women. Often, young mothers lose their teeth while expecting a baby or immediately after childbirth. And he who has thirty-two teeth laughs well! Therefore, there is no greater happiness for a doctor than seeing a beautiful smile.
Whatever your work is, if you are internally satisfied, you should not react to the attacks of others. Even if it's your parents! Unfortunately, they can be wrong too. Life will judge you. How famous actors they said that it was their relatives who categorically did not advise them to enter the theater ?! And how many great artists were considered "muffs" by their fathers and mothers...
Or scientists who made discoveries - they were almost mad by rumors! But these people have realized themselves not even one hundred, but two hundred percent. Eleanor Roosevelt is absolutely right: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Consider this, even if your self-realization seems small and insignificant to your loved ones. Often those who have not found their destiny fall into condemnation.
To return the desire to live, remember: self-realization can be called a “basic instinct”, and the fact that people sometimes stop sleeping and eating just to fulfill their plans confirms it. The husband of my old friend spent many years vegetating at the research institute, developing an interesting topic for him, the name of which for ordinary people is a pure Chinese letter.
Perestroika broke out, he created his own laboratory. He did not sleep, did not eat, did not receive money, he lived only by faith in success. I recently met him at the airport - he turned out to be right in his calculations, not only in Russia, but also in Japan, they became interested in his developments. Now everything is fine in the family, her head looks just great ...
Don't forget the sense of humor though. It should not leave you, moreover, in difficult times it can even save you. The inimitable Faina Ranevskaya once said: “I knew actresses better than Ranevskaya.” Of course, in order to be able to laugh, including at yourself, you need to look at the world in a special way, from a positive point of view.
