home > Psychology of divorce > Why can't a married couple be godparents. Can a husband and wife be godparents? Can a husband and wife be godparents of the same child, for different children from the same family? Why can't a husband and wife be godparents?

Why can't a married couple be godparents. Can a husband and wife be godparents? Can a husband and wife be godparents of the same child, for different children from the same family? Why can't a husband and wife be godparents?

When a long-awaited baby is born, the task of parents is to carefully introduce him into the world, protect him from misfortunes, put him on the righteous path. Orthodox parents share this enormous responsibility with heavenly patron and godparents. After the rite of baptism, the life and fate of the child are entrusted to the aspirations of the Lord and the instructions of the godparents.

How to choose godparents

Baptism is a church sacrament, at the moment of which the further fate of the human soul is determined. At baptism, the child's godparents are determined. How to choose godparents for your beloved child, to whom to entrust such responsibility, can there be godparents husband and wife?

In fairness, it should be noted that there are some disagreements within the church on this issue. There is an opinion that in our time a married couple can become godparents, and this is being discussed. But these doubts are theoretical, and on Everyday life Churches are practically not reflected. In the interests of the further well-being of godparents and godchildren, it is better to follow the approved order of things when choosing.

The role of godparents in the life of a godson

According to church rules, godparents at the rite of baptism can be adult Orthodox parishioners. After all, the godfather and mother should become spiritual mentors to the child for life. Can, for example, your friends husband and wife be worthy godparents for your child? After all, their role only begins after baptism: they must introduce the godson to the church, introduce Christian virtue teach the basics of religion. These should be responsible, sincerely believing people, because it is their prayers for the godson throughout his life that are paramount to the Lord. The choice of godparents for a child is a responsible step. The main thing is the ability of these people to answer for the godson before God, to take care of him spiritual development and guide him to the right path. The Church believes that the godfather should take all the sins of the godchild, who has not reached the age of 16, onto himself.

Who should not be chosen as godparents

When choosing godparents, the child's family is puzzled by the problem, can a husband and wife be godparents? For example, a familiar married couple, close to the godson's family in spirit and in the church, is the best suited for the role of mentors. Their family is a model of harmony, their relationship is permeated with love and mutual understanding. But can this husband and wife be godparents?

Can a husband and wife have the same child as godparents? No, according to church laws, this is unacceptable. For the spiritual connection that arises between the recipients at baptism gives rise to a close spiritual union, which is higher than any other, including love and marriage. It is unacceptable that spouses could become godparents, this will jeopardize the further existence of their marriage.

If the husband and wife are in a civil marriage

The doubt whether a husband and wife in a civil marriage can be godparents, the church unequivocally decides in the negative. According to church rules, neither a husband and wife, nor a couple who are on the eve of marriage can become godparents. While preaching to Orthodox people the need for a church marriage, the church at the same time considers civil marriage, that is, registered in the registry office, legal. Therefore, the doubt whether a husband and wife who have approved their union by registering in the registry office can be godparents is resolved by a negative answer.

Engaged couples cannot become godparents, as they are on the eve of marriage, as well as couples living together outside of marriage, since these unions are considered sinful.

Who can become a godfather

Can a husband and wife be godparents to different children? Yes, this is a completely acceptable option. The husband, for example, will become the godfather of the son of close people, and the wife - the goddaughter. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, older sisters and brothers can also become godparents. The main thing is that it be worthy Orthodox Christian ready to help the child grow into Orthodox faith. Choosing a godfather is a really responsible decision, because it is done for life. The godfather cannot be changed later. If the godfather stumbles on life path, descends from the righteous direction, it is fitting for the godson to take care of him with prayers.

Rules for the rite of baptism

Before the ceremony, future godparents are trained in the church, get acquainted with the basic rules:

Before the sacrament of baptism they observe three day post, confess and take communion;

Be sure to put on a pectoral Orthodox cross;

Dress appropriately for the ceremony; women wear a skirt below the knees, be sure to cover their heads; do not use lipstick;

Godparents must know and understand the meaning of "Our Father" and "Symbol of Faith", as these prayers are pronounced during the ceremony.

Controversial cases

In exceptional cases, situations arise when parents have no other choice for godparents, except for a single married couple. Doubts whether a husband and wife can be godparents for a child are more than relevant in this case. It must be remembered that, according to church rules, it is quite enough to determine for a child only one godfather, but of the same sex, that is, we choose a godfather for a boy, and a godmother for a girl.

In each case, when parents have individual questions or doubts about whether it is possible for a husband and wife to be godparents, they should be discussed with the priest during preparation for baptism. Rarely, but still, there are cases when the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents, with special permission and in view of exceptional circumstances, is resolved positively by the church.

Christening is the second birth of a baby, but already before God. Parents carefully prepare for this important event, scrupulously approach the choice of godfather and mother. Often the right choice is given with great difficulty, because not everyone agrees to take on such responsibility. The Church says that anyone can baptize a child, but he must become a true parent from the holy spirit throughout his life. Whom to choose for such a responsible title, and can a woman and a man who are husband and wife become godparents?

Godparents husband and wife: the opinion of the Moscow Patriarch on the reasons for the ban

The main requirement of the Orthodox Church for those who baptize a child is that they must steadfastly believe, live a church life, know at least the most basic prayers (“Gospel”, “Our Father”, for example). This is urgently needed so that in the future they can fully fulfill the role of teachers for their godson. Church parents should give basic knowledge about the Orthodox faith, spiritual principles human being. If the recipients are people ignorant of such matters, then there are great doubts about their original desire to become godparents.

The Church strictly monitors the fulfillment of every condition regarding the sacrament of baptism, and has a negative attitude towards cases when people consciously do not follow certain rules. There is an acute issue with the possibility of becoming godparents for a man and a woman who are married. On this score, the Orthodox religion has its own view, which is worth dwelling on in more detail.

According to Orthodox canons, a husband and wife cannot become the spiritual parents of one child. It is believed that they are already a single entity, being married. And if both will baptize the baby, it's wrong. This position is explained by the fact that during the sacrament of baptism, the recipients must acquire integrity in relation to the child, and if they are already spiritually united, then the rite will not be recognized as valid.

Some priests are loyal to this issue and argue as follows: if the marriage was not concluded in the church, this gives the husband and wife the right to baptize one child, since their relationship was not sealed in heaven. To make sure whether a husband and wife can be godparents, enlist strong opinion higher religious ranks and listen to what the Moscow Patriarchate thinks about this. Watch the video below for an in-depth discussion of the topic.

What the Catholic Church Says

A newborn baby must appear before God immediately after birth, be cleansed of original sin, unite with the church. This is how any religion argues and calls for christening at an early age. The process of the ceremony is almost the same everywhere: the baby is washed with water from the font in the temple, the liturgy is read, and at the end they put on a cross. Only the requirements that allow or forbid believers to take certain steps differ. The Catholic Church disagrees with the Orthodox on many issues, and the rite of the sacrament of baptism was no exception.

It all starts with the fact that parents come to the church a couple of weeks in advance to discuss with the priest (priest catholic church) all questions on preparation for the ceremony, set a date, agree with the one who will baptize the child. Godparents in the Catholic faith are endowed with important powers in the life of a child, which include the obligation to take him to Sunday school, prepare for religious rites (communion, confirmation). The approach to choosing godparents here is doubly complex and is an important task for any believer.

In addition to the awareness and high responsibility of godparents, in catholic faith there are rules for choosing a spiritual father and mother. According to the requirements of the church, only people who:

They believe and practice Catholicism.
They have no family ties with the baby.
Have reached the age of 16. If the reasons are good, then the rector can make an exception.
Catholics by religion who have passed the sacrament of the first Communion and confirmation (bezhmovanie). This is a rite of anointing, which is carried out, being in adulthood. So Catholics confirm that they accepted the faith consciously.
Are not the parents of the child.
They are husband and wife.

A married couple - godparents of one child: superstitions and traditions

According to the traditions of the Orthodox Church, a man and a woman who baptize a baby enter into a spiritual relationship. It is valued so highly that no other union is more important than this (including marriage). There are several traditions in the Orthodox faith that cast doubt on the possibility of baptizing other people's children for a married couple. Here are the main points when spouses are forbidden to be sponsors:

It is forbidden for a couple of people to participate in the sacrament of infant baptism if they are spouses. If this happens, then their marriage will not be able to exist on a spiritual level: it will not have sacred bonds.
Similarly to married spouses, a couple who intends to enter into a marriage union does not have the right to baptize. Since at the time of baptism they will acquire a spiritual unity (kinship) exalted above the physical, they will have to give up their relationship in favor of acquiring the status of godparents.
A couple who lives in a civil marriage also does not have the right to become godparents to a child, because initially such bonds are condemned by the church and are considered fornication.

Despite these prohibitions, there are options when a husband and wife have the right to baptize children of the same family if they meet other requirements of the Orthodox Church. They must do this separately: the man baptizes one child, and the woman the other. That is, spouses can christen their siblings (or blood brothers, sisters). If they do this individually, they will not lose the sacredness of their marital union.

If baptism with spouses still occurs due to ignorance, then only the highest authority of the church (the ruling bishop) can resolve such a situation. The couple is petitioning the ruling bishop for a way out of this situation. The outcome can be in the following ways: the recognition of the marriage as invalid or the spouses will be called to repentance for a sin committed out of ignorance.

Who else cannot be made godparents

If you decide to baptize your child, then you must definitely know all the requirements and customs of the church, which forbid taking as godparents (except for husband and wife):

blood parents of the baby;
someone who has not been baptized or does not believe in any of the religions (atheist);
a person who denies any truth of the Orthodox religion;
if the one who baptizes refers to the sacrament of baptism as a magical rite, and pursues his goals (in the pagan sense);
people who do not want to become godparents for this child;
foster father or foster mother;
people who are members of other faiths;
children under the age of 14;
monks and representatives of church rank;
people whose views are not subject to morality;
persons with mental disabilities;
women who experience the days of cleansing by menstruation.

Who can be taken as a successor

When parents think about choosing a godparent for their own child, they should be guided not only by their own considerations. All must be observed religious rules, according to which, godfather or mother can be:

His relatives are grandparents, aunt or uncle. Perhaps it will be an older sister or brother who has reached the age of fourteen.
Kumovya (those whose child you yourself are the godfather).
Godmother of the first child. It happens that a person has already baptized a baby in one family, but a second one was born to them, and the same godparents who baptized the firstborn were taken as godparents.
If there are no godparents, then the priest who performs the ceremony can become one.
Pregnant woman.
Unmarried girl who has no children.

Dear parents, you need to understand that you need to choose a godfather who will not only take part in a church ceremony, but will truly love the baby, who will be able to become his spiritual mentor for life. Answering the question of who is allowed to be taken as a successor, the church means a person who is a believer, responsible, conscious and loving, so that the rite acquires the correct meaning and final destination.

Hello. Tell me, please, why is it impossible for people who baptized the same baby to then marry? How serious is this sin? Before the wedding, no one asked me and my husband about this, but we could also be the godparents of one baby? Thank you.

Priest Afanasy Gumerov, a resident of the Sretensky Monastery, answers:

In the "Desk Book of the Holy Church Minister" (M., 1993; reprint from the edition of 1913) prot. S.N. Bulgakov explains: “By the Decree of 1810, the Holy Synod, “in accordance with the rule of the VI Ecumenical Council, limited marriages of spiritual kinship to only two degrees, that is, forbade marriages between godparents, adopted and these parents; the godfather and the godfather (godfather and godfather) bear in affinity; more… at the baptism of the saint, there is only one person, necessary and really - masculine for the baptized male, and female for the baptized female. Thus, by the decree of the Holy Synod of 1810, spiritual kinship was recognized as an obstacle to marriage only between the recipients, on the one hand, and those who were adopted and the parents of the latter, on the other. On the same page of the quoted text of the “Handbook…” in a note we read: “The recipient and the recipient are not considered to be spiritually related to each other and within the meaning of the decree of the Holy Synod of 1810 (Collected Cer. and civil. Marriage Law, C .Grigorovsky, 16 pages); by the decree of the Holy Synod of 1837, it is quite definitely not recognized between the recipient and the recipient of spiritual kinship that prevents their marriage ”(vol. 2, p. 1184). Although everything is clear, I will add a few explanatory words. liturgical books when performing the sacrament of baptism, only one person (corresponding to the gender of the baptized) is provided as a recipient. Therefore, if a husband and wife were present at the baptism of one person, then only one of them canonically considered to be a recipient. There is no other recipient. Godfather and godfather, godmother and godmother are folk concepts.

When a long-awaited baby is born, the task of parents is to carefully introduce him into the world, protect him from misfortunes, put him on the righteous path. Orthodox parents share this enormous responsibility with their heavenly patron and godparents. After the rite of baptism, the life and fate of the child are entrusted to the aspirations of the Lord and the instructions of the godparents.

How to choose godparents

In fairness, it should be noted that there are some disagreements within the church on this issue. There is an opinion that in our time a married couple can become godparents, and this is being discussed. But these doubts are theoretical, and practically do not affect the daily life of the church. In the interests of the further well-being of godparents and godchildren, it is better to follow the approved order of things when choosing.

The role of godparents in the life of a godson

According to church rules, adult Orthodox parishioners can be christening recipients. After all, the godfather and mother should become spiritual mentors to the child for life. Can, for example, your friends husband and wife be worthy godparents for your child? After all, their role only begins after baptism: they must introduce the godson to the church, introduce him to Christian virtue, and teach the basics of religion. These should be responsible, sincerely believing people, because it is their prayers for the godson throughout his life that are paramount to the Lord. The choice of godparents for a child is a responsible step. The main thing is the ability of these people to answer for the godson before God, take care of his spiritual development and guide him on the righteous path. The Church believes that the godfather should take all the sins of the godchild, who has not reached the age of 16, onto himself.

Who should not be chosen as godparents

If the husband and wife are in a civil marriage

Engaged couples cannot become godparents, as they are on the eve of marriage, as well as couples living together outside of marriage, since these unions are considered sinful.

Who can become a godfather

Can a husband and wife be godparents to different children? Yes, this is a completely acceptable option. The husband, for example, will become the godfather of the son of close people, and the wife - the goddaughter. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, older sisters and brothers can also become godparents. The main thing is that it should be a worthy Orthodox Christian, ready to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith. Choosing a godfather is a really responsible decision, because it is done for life. The godfather cannot be changed later. If the godfather stumbles on the path of life, deviates from the righteous direction, it is fitting for the godson to take care of him with prayers.

Rules for the rite of baptism

Before the ceremony, future godparents are trained in the church, get acquainted with the basic rules:

Before the sacrament of baptism, they observe a three-day fast, confess and take communion;

Be sure to put on a pectoral Orthodox cross;

Dress appropriately for the ceremony; women wear a skirt below the knees, be sure to cover their heads; do not use lipstick;

Godparents must know and understand the meaning of "Our Father" and "Symbol of Faith", as these prayers are pronounced during the ceremony.

Controversial cases

Godparents: Who Can Become a Godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? Answers in the article!

Briefly:

The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main duty godfather - to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith.
The godfather must be church man , ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and monitor his Christian upbringing.
After the baptism is done, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed a lot for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents for both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
Godparents cannot be the father and mother of the child, as well as a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.

Many of us were baptized as infants and no longer remember what happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or maybe even happier - our own child is born. Then we think again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents for someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.

Replies Prot. Maxim Kozlov to questions about the duties of godparents from the Tatyana's Day website.

— I was invited to become a godfather. What will I have to do?

— Being a godfather is both an honor and a responsibility.

The godmother and father, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Of course, a godfather should become a person who also has some experience in church life and will help parents raise a baby in faith, piety and purity.

During the performance of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.

The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help those received from the font grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity to the fact of Baptism alone. According to the teachings of the Church, for how we have taken care of the fulfillment of these duties, we will be asked the same on the day of the last judgment, as well as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very big.

- And what to give to the godson?

- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, no matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form adopted in Orthodox Church.

In the old days it was traditional church gift for christening - this is a silver spoon, which was called a "gift for a tooth", it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he started eating from a spoon.

How do I choose godparents for my child?

- Firstly, the godparents must be baptized, churched Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not only in practical circumstances. And, of course, the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship should be an important criterion. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child's church educators or not.

Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

- If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to perform the ceremony without him, but write him down as a godparent?

- Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godfathers, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand ducal mercy, agreed to be considered godparents of one or another baby. If it's a similar situation, do it, and if not, it's probably best to go with common practice.

- Who can't be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on, cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends of the child's parents and no matter how pleasant people they are in communication.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are sure of the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian confession: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become sponsors.

- And which of the relatives can be a godfather?

— An aunt or an uncle, a grandmother or a grandfather can become the godparents of their little relatives. It should only be remembered that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it is worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child, help us raise him. Are we cheating in this case little man love and care, because he could have one or two adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important at a time when the child is looking for authority outside the family. The godfather at this time, in no way opposing himself to his parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his relatives.

Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or to baptize a child for the purpose of a normal upbringing in the faith?

- In any case, a child cannot be rebaptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his relatives, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, godlessness, a blatantly impious way of life - in fact, they say that that a man has failed in his duty as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered terminated by the godmother or godmother, and you can ask another churched pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to bear the care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

- I was invited to be the godmother of a girl, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first. Is it so?

- The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by in any way.

- They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

- On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who takes a girl from the font will either not marry herself, or it will impose on her fate some imprint.

On the other hand, in this opinion one can also see a certain kind of sobriety, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) are chosen as godparents for the baby, who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the baby's physical parents. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

- Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, will you have time to take care of him, for advice to the parents of the baby, in order to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, and in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting off once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“Recently, I got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even argued with her. She argued that godparents, like biological father and mother, are obliged to educate their godson. But I do not agree: a mother is a mother, to whom she will allow to interfere in the upbringing of a child. I also once had a godson in my youth, but our paths diverged a long time ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? Something is unbelievable…”

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths turned in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. Even their names could not be retained by memory, they baptized me long ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they don’t remember themselves, they shrug their shoulders, they say that people lived in the neighborhood at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

And where are they now, what to call them, to magnify, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance has never been a flaw, I grew up and grew up, without godparents. No, she was cunning, it was once, envied. A school friend was getting married and received a gold chain as thin as a gossamer as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it, she boasted to us, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I envied it. If I had a godmother, maybe I would ...
Now, of course, having lived and thought, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who don’t even keep in mind that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler in the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. To hold us responsible for the godchildren and goddaughters scattered from their parental nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, he is passed from hand to hand, they go outside with him, they distract him so that he does not cry. Waiting for christening. They look at the clock, nervous.

Godmother and father can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially concentrated and important. They rush to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle bags of christening clothes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, goggles his eyes at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him”, among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But the father invites - it's time. They fussed, got excited, the godparents are trying their best to maintain importance - it doesn’t work, because for them, like for their godson, today’s exit is God's temple- a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, it’s still easy to determine from awkwardness and tension that godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the vaults of the church. Father will ask questions:

Do you carry a cross?

Do you read prayers?

Do you read the gospel?

Do you celebrate church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something indistinct, to lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly conscience, remind of the duty of godfathers and mothers, in general, of Christian duty. Hastily and willingly, their godparents will nod their heads, humbly accept the denunciation of sin, and whether from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into their hearts the main father's thought: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now, and forever. And whoever remembers is likely to misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to invest in the well-being of the godson a feasible contribution.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp solid banknote - for a tooth. Then for birthdays, as the child grows - a chic set of children's dowry, an expensive toy, a fashionable satchel, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to the gold, to the envy of the poor, chains for the wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the church as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us with, how it is more worthy to prepare for it.
Godfather - in Slavic godfather. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest passes the baby from his hands into the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By perception, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission to lead the godson along the path of ascent to the Heavenly heritage. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember, in the Gospel of John: "Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God."

In serious words - "guardians of faith and piety" - the Church calls the recipients. But to keep, you need to know. So only the believer Orthodox person maybe the godfather, and not the one who, together with the baby being baptized, first got into the temple. Godparents should know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mary”, “May God rise again ...”, they must know the “Symbol of Faith”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, to wear a cross, to be able to be baptized.
One priest said: they came to baptize the child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on a cross, but he can’t, unbaptized. It's just a joke, but it's the real truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But one cannot demand faith and repentance from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called, having faith and repentance, to pass them on, to teach them to their godparents. That is why, instead of babies, they pronounce the words of the "Creed" and the words of renunciation of Satan.

Do you deny Satan and all his works? the priest asks.

“I deny it,” the recipient answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a bright festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, which means spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, all those standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby three times into the font and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, a servant of God, will be handed over to the godparents. And he will be dressed in white clothes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a light robe, put on light, like a robe ...” Accept your child, godparents. From now on your life will be filled special meaning, you have taken on the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you now have an answer to God.

On the first Ecumenical Council the rule was adopted that women become the gossips for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl only needs a godmother, a boy only needs a godfather. But life, as it often happens, has made its own adjustments here. According to the ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. It, of course, will not spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know quite certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as the parents of a child cannot be godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... Behind the baptism of the baby. He has a great life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to those who gave birth to his father and mother. Ahead is our work, our constant striving to prepare the godson for the ascent to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the smallest. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked down from the worries that have fallen on them. They are, as they say, nothing. Now is the time to lend them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in the temple, order prayers, constantly, like your own blood children, commemorate in prayers at home. Of course, you don’t have to do it instructively, they say, you are mired in fuss, but I’m all spiritual - I think about the high, I aspire to the high, I feed your child, so that you do without me ... In general, the spiritual upbringing of the baby is possible only in if the godfather in the house is his own person, desirable, tactful. It is not necessary, of course, to shift all the worries onto yourself. The duties of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this one cannot be justified before the Lord.

This is a really difficult cross. And, perhaps, you need to think carefully before you lay it on yourself. Can I? Will I have enough health, patience, spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering into life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for an honorary post. Who among them can become a truly good helper in education, who will be able to give your child true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, then there are other criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers, unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. As old as the world, such stories are banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the baptismal font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can turn mountains. Doing good is also good. It is not in our power to drive away a fool-man from half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter or to sing “make peace, make peace, make peace” to two frowning halves. But it is in our power to take away to our dacha for a day at the dacha a boy weary of affection, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there, and to pray. Prayer feat is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests are well aware of the severity of the feat of the recipients and do not bless to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are just from there, from childhood loneliness, childish sadness. From a big child's misfortune.

This man's name is Alexander Gennadyevich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children's Rehabilitation Center, or, more simply, in an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, digs through funds for equipping classes, selects cadres from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his wards from the police, collects them in the basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, tells them about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. Pray a lot, a lot. In Optina Hermitage, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveevsky Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He is very tired, this man, sometimes he almost collapses from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, realizing this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in business say about him. Godfather from God - is it possible to say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and villages, his ministry to children is an example of true Christian ministry. I think that many of us cannot reach its heights, but if we do life with someone, then just with those who understand their title of “grandparent” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
One can, of course, say: I am a weak, busy person, not so hot a church person, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It's more honest and easier, right? Easier - yes. But more honest...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly come to stop, look around, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I owe nothing to my own child. We are indebted to everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them away. Children have grown up and do without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents got old. But conscience - the voice of God - itches and itches.

Conscience requires a splash, and not in words, but in deeds. Can it not be such a thing to carry the duties of the cross?
It is a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of the daughter of my childhood friend was a great and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. Sat down, poured wine, waiting for a toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the parents of the bride skip ahead with the speeches of the groom's parents, they are vice versa. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He got up in a very businesslike way. He raised his glass:

“I mean, as the godfather of the bride…”

Everyone quieted down. Everyone listened to the words about young people living long, together, having many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulia, and from under the luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought. Thank you for carrying the love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding. Thank you for reminding us all of something we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How many - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.

14.12.2020

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