Is it possible to be the first godmother of a girl. Is it possible to baptize a girl or a boy to an unmarried girl

The rite of baptism contains certain signs and superstitions. To be godparents means to carry a responsible burden. After all, the duty of such parents is to take care of the child and his upbringing. Great responsibility raises many questions. Among the frequently asked questions is: why not baptize the first girl unmarried girl ? We will try to answer it in detail and learn about the features of the rite of baptism.

For some reason, men are never guided by superstitions, but emotionally malleable girls tend to obey popular superstitions, wisdom and signs.

Reasons why a girl should not be baptized by an unmarried girl

Considering the non-Orthodox reasons that girls often believe in, we note the following:

• 1st sign: a nulliparous and unmarried girl who baptizes a girl can take away happiness from her goddaughter;
• 2nd sign: an unmarried girl who has entered into the rite of the church sacrament of baptism can prevent her goddaughter from marrying in the future;
• 3rd sign: the fate of an unmarried godmother may in the future be reflected in the fate of the goddaughter.

There is also an opposite sign. If the first person to be baptized by an unmarried woman is a boy, then the girl’s life will be happy, and the future marriage will be strong.

It is up to you to decide whether or not to believe the superstitions associated with baptism. Refusing this honorable ceremony, you can offend the parents of the child. The sacrament of baptism is a special rite. Prejudice and superstition have no place here. Sometimes they help justify their own unsuccessful actions and mistakes.

The opinion of the Orthodox Church on the baptism of children by unmarried girls

Today, even the Orthodox Church has reached the question: “ why can't a girl be baptized by an unmarried girl? She considers such superstitions stupid and unfounded. Priests say that such girls during baptism will not harm either the health or the fate of the child. The only caveat that unmarried ladies need to take into account is that the godfather of the child should not be her future husband. The fact is that in the church young people become related, and relatives, based on Orthodox canons, it is forbidden to enter into a church marriage and get married. So beware of this moment.

What kind of girl can be a godmother?

Becoming a godmother, a girl must be brought up on Orthodox faith and observe the customs of the Church. Age limits are not limited here. The main thing in this case understand all the responsibility that lies in guiding and instructing the godchildren on the spiritual path. If you feel ready for this, then boldly baptize the girl even when you are unmarried. Baptism will help not only the child, but also you will get closer to the spiritual world.

It is not worth looking for reasons in superstitions and signs to refuse the holy sacrament. Before baptism, you can consult with the priests and learn more about the features of the rite.

12.07.2016

The rite of baptism has always been one of the most exciting and mysterious in Rus', so there is nothing surprising in the fact that our ancestors at one time associated this solemn event with various kinds of beliefs. One such superstition that has survived to this day is the assertion that the first girl should not be baptized to an unmarried girl.

The first version of the appearance of this belief sounds quite realistic and reasonable. The fact is that the godmother is the spiritual mentor of the child, who must explain to the child a lot about the spiritual component of our life. It is believed that a very young unmarried person does not have enough life experience to provide the child with adequate protection.

But we must also take into account the fact that in our time, some young girls are already independent mature individuals who are able to take care of others and, especially, of their godchildren. And some of the fair sex, having rich experience family life behind, are children even for their household members.

The conclusion is obvious: in our time, everything depends on the person. We must also take into account the fact that earlier in Rus', girls did not have so many options for personal development outside of marriage, so it is likely that the role of godmother was suitable only for those who had already married.

The second version of the appearance of this superstition is no longer so real and does not have any evidence. However, our ancestors were sure that if a young unmarried girl takes on the role of godmother of a little girl, then in the future she will have misfortunes in her personal life, and she will never be able to give birth.

Many people are still confident in the legitimacy of this statement, and, frankly, it is useless to argue with them. Among them are even those who are able to give examples from their own life experience. True, these “cases from life”, as a rule, turn out to be only an invention of the narrator.

Church workers, answering the question whether it is possible for an unmarried girl to baptize a little girl, are of the opinion that such a decision should be made based on their own willingness to take on such responsibility.

The only condition that the church obliges to comply with is that the godfather and godmother should never further bind their lives by marriage. The fact is that after the christening, these people already become relatives. However, this rule concerns mainly the wedding ceremony and also, to some extent, belongs to the field of superstition.

One of the most important events in the life of a child - the christening of a girl. The priest will tell you about the rules for parents and godparents before performing the ceremony. The baptism of a child is a great sacrament, after which the baby receives the protection and protection of God. He has a guardian angel who saves from misfortunes and troubles.

Many do not know at what age to baptize a daughter. Priests advise doing this in the first year of life, but there are no restrictions. You can baptize both infants and teenagers. The only difference in the ceremony is that small children are dipped into the font, and older ones are poured with water from it on their heads.

After 40 days from the moment of birth, the mother is already allowed to be present at the ritual. The Church advises not to delay the sacrament, because before it is held, the baby does not have a protector and patron. There are practical explanations for this: babies easily endure immersion in water, react calmly and are not frightened when they are picked up by a stranger. It is difficult for an older child to withstand the entire time of the ceremony.

There is a Slavic custom to carry out baptism for 8 or 40 days. On the first date, it was customary to name the newborn, and on the second date, the mother can already visit the temple, since the natural cleansing after the appearance of the baby has ended. If a child was born weak and sick, it is advisable to christen him immediately.

Until the age of seven, the decision is made by the parents. Children under the age of 14 must consent to the ceremony. Older teenagers are baptized only if they want to. If the child is in the hospital, there is a threat to his life or there is no way to bring him from home to church, then you should contact the priest and ask him to perform the ritual outside the temple. As a rule, doctors and clergy do not refuse people in such a situation.

Preparation for the sacrament

Native parents are not godparents for their child, they themselves choose where to baptize him. They need to agree with the priest about the time, it depends on the church schedule. It is advisable to choose godparents from among the believers: they are responsible before the Lord for the spiritual development of the child.

Choice of godparents

Godparents must be chosen for the girl. They meet the following criteria:

1. profess Orthodoxy;
2. are not officially or civilly married to each other;
3. are of legal age.

Pregnant women become godparents, but there are several nuances:

• a woman should feel good in order to be able to withstand the whole ceremony;
• she wants to take responsibility for this particular girl.

Parents need to know who cannot be godparents. These include:

• unrepentant sinners;
• young children;
• unbaptized and non-believers;
• nuns, monks;
• women who have recently given birth, if 40 days have not passed since the birth of the child;
• persons leading an immoral lifestyle, violating commandments;
• alcoholics;
• Gentiles.

For Orthodox who constantly visit the temple, additional preparation is not required. For others, it is obligatory to confess and take communion. The priest conducts a conversation before baptism, explains how to behave during the ceremony and what is needed for baptism. Close relatives: sister, grandmother, aunt can also be godparents.

What is needed for the ritual

The godmother is responsible for the upbringing of the girl in Orthodox spirit. Before the sacrament, you will need to visit the church and pass an interview at which they talk about God and the rules of the great sacrament. It is important that she be able to handle the baby, as she will have to undress him and put on the baptismal set.

The baptism kit includes:

1. For babies, a kryzhma (a large towel) or a baptismal dress for a girl. Godmother buys.
2. The godfather acquires the cross. It can be worn on a string or chain. For small children, it is advisable to choose a cross with rounded outlines without sharp corners so as not to be scratched.

A cross and a chain are chosen based on their capabilities: from simple metal or from gold, silver. There are no strict requirements on what to buy and to whom, so parents, grandfather or uncle can buy them.

Preparation and rules for godparents:

• visit the temple for confession and communion;
• observe a short fast (3 days), refusing meat food, bad thoughts and words;
• learn the text of the prayer for baptism "Symbol of Faith", "Our Father";
• acquire the necessary attributes for baptism;
• not to eat before the sacrament.

church rules

During the sacrament of baptism of a girl, the godmother is considered the main recipient. Church rules for the godmother say that her main task is to read during the ritual of prayer. If you are unable to memorize it, you can take a prayer book. By tradition, he buys a white towel (kryzhma), a baptismal set. As a gift, he acquires an icon with a saint whose name was given to the goddaughter during the ceremony. According to the church rules for the godfather, he brings the child into the church and holds it in his arms until the time comes to hand it over to the clergyman.

Godparents and spouses often do not know on which days the sacrament of baptism is performed. IN church rules there are no prohibitions on holidays, fasting or ordinary days of the week. Exceptions are made only for three great holidays: Christmas, Easter, Trinity. At this time, the father is unlikely to find free time for the sacrament. In many churches, a routine is established, baptisms are held only on certain days, as a rule, this is Saturday. In a conversation with the priest, they clarify how the ceremony goes, what is needed for it.

Parents and invited guests are allowed to attend the church. These include the next of kin, photography and video filming are allowed, but it is time to get the consent of the priest. Sometimes a professional is brought in to document everything. important points solemn ceremony.

How to dress for a christening

When going to a ritual, you need to know what to baptize in. There are church rules that provide for festive clothing for all those present. Allowed:

• skirt below the knees;
• closed jacket with long sleeves;
• head scarf.

You should not be in trousers, shorts, a short skirt in church. Clothing should cover the neckline, back and arms. Men can be bareheaded in a shirt and trousers, a woman must wear a headscarf.

The color and pattern of outfits is not regulated, but it is advisable to choose something light for baptism, because this is a big holiday for the family.

How does the sacrament happen?

During the ritual, crosses must be worn on everyone. Church laws stipulate the sequence of the ceremony. At the baptism of the girl, the godfather brings (brings) her into the premises of the temple, and after dipping into the font, the godmother accepts and dresses. The process of baptism is long, it takes place in several stages:

1. Entry into the temple of the baby by the godparents of the opposite sex.
2. Reading prohibition prayers to renounce the child from evil. The baby is wrapped in a diaper at this time.
3. Prayers against Satan, during which there is a renunciation of him. The priest asks the question of refusal three times, his godparents are responsible for the small child;
4. The combination to Christ and the reading of the "Creed" by the godparents.
5. The recipients take lighted candles in their hands, three more are installed on the font. The priest sanctifies water and oil.
6. The priest dips the child into a font of cold water three times, after which a cross is put on.
7. During immersion there is a cleansing from sins and a birth for spiritual life.
8. The godmother takes the baby in her hands and wraps it in a baptismal towel, then dresses it.
9. The priest performs chrismation by applying oil to the cross on the legs, arms, back, stomach and forehead of the child.
10. The godparents with the child follow the priest three times around the font, at this time he reads prayers.
11. A small strand of hair is cut off from the girl's head, they remain in the church, symbolizing the spiritual unity of the child with God.
12. The priest takes the child in his arms and puts it on the icon Mother of God. This means that the sacrament has come true and the child is churched.

Baptism is a lengthy procedure that takes from 40 minutes to an hour and a half. It also depends on whether one child is baptized or several.

A week after baptism, you should come to church for communion, the clergyman will tell the exact date.

Choosing a church name

During the ceremony, the child receives a new name. As usual, it is chosen from those that are consonant with the worldly or are in the lists of the saints. If there is no match for the name on the birth certificate, you should seek help from a priest. She will tell you which saint is revered on the girl’s birthday or baptism, her name will become the second for her. Will be used in church ceremonies. Thus, the children have another holiday - the day of the heavenly intercessor (saint), whose name was given at the time of baptism. church name do not disclose to outsiders, so as not to weaken the protection of the baby.

Responsibilities of a godmother

A woman who agrees to become a godmother takes responsibility for life and spiritual development girls. Her responsibilities include:

• pray for the goddaughter, ask God for help for her in a difficult situation;
• go to church together, confess and take communion;
• take part in spiritual education, development;
• be a worthy role model;
• talk about God, go to church together;
• wish happy birthday, give gifts on angel's day;
• give instructions, help with advice and practical deeds;
• to take the girl to be raised if her parents are dead.

Baptism cost

Not everyone understands why pay for the ceremony, because Jesus bequeathed not to take money for baptism, so that poor people would not be excommunicated from the church due to lack of funds. But earlier there was a tradition to give a tenth of the income in favor of the church, to donate funds. Now there are fewer contributions, so ministers are forced to draw up a price list in order to be able to pay for the maintenance of the temple. The cost depends on the chosen church.

There is no single price, so you can find out how much to pay only in the temple that has been chosen to perform the sacrament. Boxes are set up in churches to collect donations, the clergyman may say that there is no fee, but you have the right to put any amount you can into it. The estimated cost of the ritual is from 1500, there is no upper limit. For him, you will need a baptismal set, which includes: a white dress, kryzhma and a scarf (bonnet).

How to store baptismal things

There are no rules in the Bible for the use of things left after christening, but the clergy recommend that parents keep the roof and the baptismal cross. They can be folded into a chest of drawers and stored with the child's clothes so that they are not in front of strangers. If he falls ill, behaves restlessly, they cover him with a blanket.

What not to do with a baptismal towel:

• wash;
• throwing away;
• be used to baptize others.

There is an opinion that the baptismal shirt is a healing amulet that is applied to a sore spot for a speedy recovery. Not all parents know if a child should wear a cross all the time. This is desirable, but if necessary, then temporarily removed. This thing should not be thrown away, because it is the most the best amulet. Even if they bought a new cross and chain, they keep the old one.

Folk signs and traditions of celebration

After the holy sacrament, the celebration of christening takes place in the family circle. It is customary to cook dishes from cereals and vegetables, poultry, pastries, pies. Godparents and guests usually ask their parents in advance what to give the girl. There are no special rules for choosing a thing, but the following are considered a good present:

• saint icon;
• a silver spoon or a set of them;
• children's clothes, toys;
• Bible.

They believe that love relationship between godfathers - a great sin, there are many other folk signs:

• you can’t show the newborn to anyone before baptism, because at that time he is weak and defenseless, it is easy to jinx him;
• during the christening, the child appears before God, so he is smartly dressed;
• a bad sign is considered an odd number of guests present at the christening;
• during the ceremony, the candle must be held firmly in your hands, covering it with the second palm so that it does not fall, does not go out;
• after the christening, they immediately go home, without turning anywhere along the road, otherwise the child's guardian angel will weaken.

Main Traditions :

• to choose believing and reliable people as godparents;
• do not argue with the priest about the choice of name;
• do not purchase a gold cross for newborns;
• after the christening, the godmother brings the child into the house;
• baptize the child as early as possible;
• do not have drunken parties;
• invite the minimum possible number of people.

An Orthodox becomes a godfather any number of times, there are no restrictive rules. Baptism is the second most important holiday for a person after a birthday. The rite refers to one of the seven Orthodox church sacraments. After it, original sin is removed and God's grace and protection descend on the baptized. She cleanses and gives eternal life, means spiritual birth.

There are many signs and superstitions associated with the institution of godparents. Becoming godparents, it is necessary to take care of the child, if possible, try to take part in his upbringing, but no godparents can ever do without gifts. Why is there a sign that a girl cannot be baptized first. For men, such superstitions have no power and power, but more emotional women tend to take signs on faith and follow them. folk wisdom. Old signs and superstitions are intertwined here, that it is impossible not only to baptize the first girl, but also whether it is possible for nursing ones to drink milk, why it is impossible to sit on the table, why it is impossible to give certain things. The roots of these superstitions go back to hoary antiquity, but you can try to figure out what is terrible about the prohibition to baptize the first girl.

According to some beliefs, it is impossible to baptize if the future godmother is not married and has not yet given birth. It was believed that the goddaughter would take away future happiness from the godmother and she would not marry. There is also a belief that a girl can take over the fate of her godmother in the future. Therefore, those who are happily married should be chosen for this honorary role.

The next superstition says that if the first godson is a boy, then such a girl’s own fate will turn out happily in the future. Such friends who refuse to be godparents can seriously offend young parents, who may believe in omens, but the happiness of the child is more important to them.

An interesting belief from England can be read on the Internet. It turns out that in North and West England, this problem arose for a completely different reason. According to medieval English superstition, a girl cannot be baptized first because the witches flying around will give her the ability to take all the vegetation from the second baby - a boy, and he will be without a mustache and beard for the rest of his life, which in those days was considered a sign of Satan's assistant.

To believe in such signs or not, the parents decide. It is extremely shameful to refuse such an honorable mission as becoming a godmother to a child. After all, baptism is a sacred rite, and bad omens and superstitions are invented to justify one's own mistakes and failures. The Orthodox Church has never confirmed such superstitions, and not a single church minister will refuse to baptize a girl first, because it is the church that stands in the way of such signs. Therefore, you should not give up such an honorable right as becoming a godmother for fear of losing something in life. Baptism gives such positive energy that nothing bad can happen.

Do you believe in omens????

Can unmarried girls be baptized girls? Yes. To become a godmother, you need to have a firm faith in God, profess Orthodoxy, love your future goddaughter like your daughter, and trust her parents like yourself. Age, marital status of the future godmother do not matter. There can be only one restriction for a believing girl: you cannot baptize a child with her future husband. That is, a couple who meets and plans to start a family cannot become godparents for the same child.

superstition

Often, when choosing future godparents, mom and dad ask themselves: is it possible for an unmarried girl to baptize her first girl? This is due to folk signs and superstitions, nothing to do with Orthodox teaching not having. For some reason, it is commonly believed that an unmarried godmother gives her happiness to her goddaughter. This, in Russian, is "grandmother's fairy tales." "According to your faith, be it to you" - this is the correct attitude to all signs and superstitions. "And you do not believe and it will not come true," said the saint Reverend Seraphim Sarovsky about bad omens. If a girl believes with all her heart that she and her goddaughter find common happiness during the Sacrament, then that is exactly what will happen. You can evilly say to yourself: "In this way I call upon myself God's blessing on my own happy marriage and motherhood." And, believe me, this is exactly what will come true, if you truly believe. So, can unmarried girls be baptized girls? And it is possible, and necessary, if you take a responsible approach to your future title.

If a child was baptized together, you cannot marry

An unmarried girl? The girl is baptized by the godmother, the boy by the godfather. But at the same time, they often invite for a girl and a father, for a boy - and a mother. Here an important condition arises, which can become an obstacle to the choice of one or another person for the role of godmother or godfather. It seems very sweet when a future couple seals their feelings with a joint baptism of a baby. This is often done by people who are ignorant of church canons. The fact is that during the performance of the Sacrament, the recipients enter into spiritual kinship. This is the obstacle. If the couple subsequently wishes to marry, they will be refused. It is forbidden to perform the Sacrament of the Wedding on people who are in such a relationship, that is, who are the spiritual parents of the same baby.

In our time, such stories also happen: mom and dad get divorced, then dad wants to marry his godfather. Such marriages are also not blessed. The answer to the question: "Is it possible for unmarried girls to baptize girls?" next: it is possible if the girl is going to become a nun, she simply took a vow of celibacy, and also if the godfather does not take part in baptism or is not her likely fiancé.

What does it mean to be a godmother

"You can't baptize an unmarried girl's first girl!" - categorically declares a popular sign. Answer: it does not matter what gender the child is, whether he is the first or the tenth. It is important to responsibly treat the upcoming Sacrament. The baby does not yet and cannot have her own faith, the baby is baptized according to the faith of his or her godparent. The girl gives God her word that she will bring this baby to Him. The spiritual mother becomes the guardian of faith and piety for the goddaughter. On the Last Judgment godparents will answer for the sins of their godchildren, for the fact that they spent their lives outside the Church, outside the faith of Christ. That is, if the girl herself does not really believe or knows that the parents of the future goddaughter will not educate her in the Orthodox faith, it is better to refuse the proposed role. It is possible to baptize the daughter of unbelieving parents, provided that the godmother will be able to take an active part in the upbringing, for example, a governess or a very close relative. A good example: a believing girl baptizes a baby from the orphanage in which she works, firmly knowing that the upbringing of her goddaughter will fall on her shoulders at least for the next few years. But in no case should children be baptized by people who are atheists, non-Churches (Muslims, Buddhists, etc.) or unchurched (those who do not attend church services more often than once every few months, and does not take communion at least once a year).

How to get ready

It is best to ask the priest who will perform this Sacrament about how to properly prepare for the future godmother. In most temples, special talks are held on how to prepare yourself and prepare a child for parents and future godparents. If there is no such opportunity in the church where Baptism will take place, and the priest for some reason could not devote time to future godparents, then you can purchase the appropriate literature. In any case, it is advisable for the godmother to take communion on the day of the Sacrament or the day before, after having made the necessary preparation before that. Well, if you manage to find time to read the Gospel during the week before baptism. It is imperative that all week before and during the celebration of the Sacrament itself, you need to wholeheartedly pray to God and the Mother of God for blessings for yourself and your goddaughter, ask for help in fulfilling your obligations. Can unmarried girls be baptized girls? A girl can be baptized by any girl or woman who seriously, responsibly, reverently approaches her role in the Sacrament and all future life child.

When an unmarried girl is invited to become a godmother, she faces a dilemma: "Baptize a child, or refuse?" The future godmother often asks her relatives: “Can an unmarried girl baptize a girl?” These throwings are associated with fears and superstitions that are not supported.

People believe that it will be difficult for an unmarried girl who has become a godmother to get married in the future. Priests believe that everything is the will of the Lord, and personal life is in no way connected with the sacrament of baptism.

There is also a superstition that a godmother who is not married can give her fate to her goddaughter. They say in the church that each person is unique and cannot exchange their destiny with others.

There is also a myth that a young godmother will take on many of the goddaughter's sins when she enters adulthood. But even this cannot happen, since God perceives each person separately and sees only his sins and good deeds.

Another superstitious fear has to do with the child's parents. Some parents believe that a young and unmarried godmother can unwittingly or intentionally rob their daughter of good luck, youth, or beauty at the time of baptism. In Christianity, witchcraft is denied, so this fear remains at the level of "grandmother's tales."

What are the real reasons for unmarried people not to be godparents?

It would seem that fears are calmed, myths are debunked and you can safely become the godmother of a little girl. But in addition to superstitions, there are real prohibitions when an unmarried woman cannot baptize a child. Let's consider them in more detail:

All of the above are good reasons for refusing the role of a godmother. And the parents themselves should not invite a person who is not suitable for the above reasons to this important role. Now you have learned whether it is possible for an unmarried girl to baptize a girl. What does it really mean to be a godmother?

Godmother is an honorary title and a great responsibility. A real godmother can replace a girl's real mother if something happens to her.

The godmother should actively engage in the spiritual development of the goddaughter. She is obliged to participate in all events important for the girl, to attend her wedding.

The godmother is a spiritual example for the goddaughter. Their close fellowship should enrich the Christian outlook of the child. But worldly participation in the goddaughter's life is not forbidden.

A woman who has become a godmother should pray fervently for her goddaughter and support her in difficult periods life. After all, she was a witness to the introduction of the child to the world of Christianity.

Whether to agree to the role of a godmother is a personal matter for every woman. If fears due to signs and superstitions are too strong, you can tell the priest about them in confession. But to refuse relatives because of myths and beliefs is not worth it. It is better to understand your inner readiness for such a significant step. After all, the status of a godmother is for life. And it is impossible to refuse such a role, even if there is a desire.

It is also worth remembering that the fact that the godmother or godmother is being prepared is not welcome. It is better to participate in the sacrament of baptism after your own wedding. But if the desire to become a godmother is sincere and strong, then the church can approve such candidates.

So can an unmarried girl baptize a girl? According to folk omens- No. But the church looks at it positively. The main thing is that the future godmother is not too young and fully aware of the importance of this step. And then everything will go fine, and the girl will have the first named child - her goddaughter. And parents will find in her person an assistant who will not be indifferent to the fate of their daughter. After all, the more close and loving people a child has, the better.

Among the common superstitions there is this: you can’t baptize the first girl to unmarried girls. Let's try to understand the reasons for this superstition and find out whether it is really possible to baptize the first girl. We also give the opinion of the ROC (Russian Orthodox Church) on this matter.

Why can't the first girl be baptized?

There are two explanations for this: one is really from the realm of superstition, but the second is quite realistic, with which we will begin. It is believed that a young unmarried girl does not yet have enough life experience to be a full-fledged godmother for a baby, to really take care of her if something happens. However, it is worth noting here that, firstly, all people are different: someone is already quite mature by the age of 20 in order to take care of others, and someone at 50 remains a mere child. That is why, if a girl is serious and wants to be a godmother, and the baby’s mother also agrees, there are no obstacles to her desire and cannot be. Another thing is that christening is often not taken seriously, they do not realize that this is a responsible matter, because, in fact, we become responsible for the fate of the baby.

The second explanation belongs to the realm of superstition. Allegedly, if a young unmarried woman or girl becomes a godmother for a little girl, then this means that she herself will not be able to give birth and will be unhappy in her personal life. We will not argue with people who fanatically defend this point of view. Firstly, they are often deaf to the arguments of reason, and secondly, they will give you a lot of examples to confirm. So, on one of the forums, I literally read the following: “There are many examples from life when godmothers, being unmarried or without children, baptized girls - and they remained either with an unsettled personal life, or later had no children. I will even say: there are too many examples." And on the other hand: "My sister became a godmother to a friend at the age of 18. And it's okay: she got married and gave birth to her daughter!" - and I counted no less such examples. From this, an obvious logical conclusion suggests itself: the happiness or misfortune of a woman who baptized a girl before her marriage does not depend in any way on christening. There are completely different reasons that are not the topic of our conversation. Therefore, the question of whether it is possible for a girl to baptize the first girl should be answered not based on signs, but on her own readiness for such a serious step.

The opinion of the church on this issue

The Church believed, believes and will continue to believe that such conversations are just stupid superstitions that have nothing to do with reality. The priests say that, of course, you can baptize the first girl, nothing bad will happen to you. The only obstacle to this may be if the godfather is a young man whom the girl is going to marry. Since the godmother and godfather will become related after the christening, relatives will no longer be able to marry. However, this applies only to the wedding, there are no biological or civil prerequisites for this and cannot be, so everything here depends, again, on your superstition.

MYTH #1. A girl's godmother cannot be an unmarried woman. And the goddaughter will not marry.

No, these are prejudices and superstitions. The most important thing is that the godmother should be a truly believing person, feel responsible for her goddaughter. The social, material status of the godfather does not matter here.

MYTH #2. After the baptism of the child, the godparents, father and mother, cannot marry each other? There is even a saying among the people: "Godfather with godfather, like brother and sister."

The canons of the Orthodox Church directly prohibit marriage: a) between the godfather and the goddaughter, b) between the godmother and the godson, c) between the godparents and the parents of the baptized. There is no direct ban on marriage between godparents. Catholics are also not against marriages between godparents. The church is also not against the fact that a guy and a girl who have already decided to become husband and wife become godparents. In this case, the child is just lucky. If godparents live together, they have the opportunity to perform their duties much better in relation to their godson or goddaughter.

MYTH #3. The mother of the child (sometimes they say that the father too) should not be present at the rite of baptism of the child. “40 days after giving birth, death follows the mother”

Catholics say that the presence of mother and father is simply necessary. During baptism, it is they who speak on behalf of the child. During the ceremony, their responsible and conscious participation in the sacrament that radically changes the future of their child is required.

In the Orthodox Church, it is believed that if the baptism of a child occurs before the 40th day after his birth, then the mother cannot really be present at the baptism. This is due to the need for a complete recovery of the female body after childbirth. After the 40th day from the birth of the child, the presence of the mother is allowed and even welcomed.

MYTH №4. The child must cry when he is lowered into water or water is poured over his face. This is a good sign.

The crying of a child or the absence of one during baptism does not have any fateful significance. Regardless of this, God will keep a person as his son or daughter, they explain in the Orthodox Church. And in the church they remind you that in baptism you should not look for such external manifestations and give them a global, and even more sacred meaning. We must try to penetrate into the depths of the mystery that happens to a person and in a person through the direct coming of Christ into his life.

MYTH #5. Baptismal clothes should be kept for life

Orthodox believers really try to keep the white baptismal garment for life. She is a symbol of joy, purity, a reminder of baptismal vows. And Catholics support this tradition. But in the church they are reminded that clothes should be kept not as a talisman or protective amulet, but as a sign and symbol of holiness, the impetus for which was given by Baptism.

MYTH #6 A pregnant woman cannot baptize a child

Catholics answer: maybe. There are no prohibitions in this regard. On the contrary, a godmother will be a person who carries a new life in himself and certainly knows the price of it. Such a person can only become a good godmother. Orthodox: perhaps the only difficulty may be that the pregnant godmother will need to hold the child in her arms for about half an hour.

MYTH №7 You can't refuse if you were offered to be godparents

It is necessary to weigh your inner strengths, opportunities, life circumstances. But this honor should not be deliberately avoided. By participating in the spiritual upbringing of the godson, the godparent has a good opportunity to improve himself. Unfortunately, most godparents are, first of all, friends of the parents and only then are godparents. When choosing godparents for your children, you need to think about the person’s ability to really help you in the spiritual upbringing of your child, and not about how to further strengthen the bonds of your own friendship with someone.

MYTH №8 Godparents must necessarily be of the faith in which the child is baptized.

Catholics require at least one parent to be a Catholic. Orthodox believe that both godparents should belong to the church in which the child is baptized. The godfather is, first of all, an educator of faith for his godson. And if the godfather belongs to a different denomination, then contradictions inevitably arise.

MYTH #9. The name under which the child is baptized must be hidden from everyone.

Catholics: It doesn't make any sense. A name, by its very nature, is something explicit that relates directly to a person's identity. Therefore, at the very beginning of the rite of baptism, parents must publicly and openly name their child. Orthodox: the name of a person is holy, because it is associated with the name of one of the saints, people close to God. Superstitiously hiding the Christian name of the child, parents to some extent break the mysterious connection between their child and his heavenly patron.

MYTH №10 All the sins of the child automatically become the sins of his godparents

The Catholics answered this way: the church is not a nuclear power plant, and Baptism is not a chain reaction. God perceives each of us absolutely individually. Orthodox: in baptism, sins do not pass from one person to another, but are irrevocably washed away by the power of the Holy Spirit.

MYTH №11. A priest cannot refuse to baptize a child

Baptism is not denied, but is usually postponed for some time if there are any moral or personal obstacles. Most often this is due to the unpreparedness of parents or godparents.

MYTH №12. If the parents are not married, the child may not be baptized

Of course, the priest will advise the parents to get married. But if dad and mom do not do this, this will not become an obstacle to baptism.

MYTH #13. Godparents need to somehow specially prepare for the baptism of the child

Catholics have several meetings with their parents before baptism, during which they are explained to them what responsibility they take on. Orthodoxy believes that God-parents must pass an interview with a priest, confess, take communion, try to pay more attention to their inner spiritual world and prayer.

We thank the priest of Belarus Orthodox Church George Roy and the priest Catholic Church in Belarus Alexander Amelchenya for help in preparing the material.

Baptism is a Christian rite around which there are many signs and superstitions. People believe that an unmarried girl should not be the first to baptize a girl. But why shouldn't this be done? And how does the Orthodox Church feel about this?

Signs and superstitions about an unmarried girl as a godmother

A popular sign says that an unmarried girl who baptized the first girl is able to take away his happiness from the child. There is also a belief that an unmarried godmother in the future will prevent her goddaughter from finding her love, involuntarily "sharing" her fate with her.

Parents often refuse to choose an unmarried girl as a godmother for their daughter, as they are afraid that she will take away their child's external attractiveness and good fortune.

There is a superstition that a godmother who is not married can give her fate to her goddaughter.

In addition, participation in the sacrament of baptism will also affect the fate of the girl herself. People believe that an unmarried godmother can never marry. Another superstition says that in the future, an unmarried godmother will pay for the sins of her goddaughter when she enters adulthood.

Church opinion

The Orthodox Church refutes all signs and superstitions regarding this issue. The priests assure that the rite of baptism will in no way affect the personal life of either the goddaughter or the godmother, because the Lord has prepared for each person his special fate.

However, in Christianity there are real reasons why a girl may be denied the desire to become a godmother:

• she is under 18 years old (in Orthodoxy, they believe that only an adult who understands all the responsibility and is aware of the duties that fall on him during the sacrament can be a godfather);
• she is unbaptized;
• she professes another religion;
• the girl leads a wrong way of life, does not visit temples and does not believe in God.

Also, an unmarried woman should not accept the role of a godmother if she is not sure that she can introduce her goddaughter to spiritual life, devote enough time to her, and also raise the girl on a par with her mom and dad.

Duties of a godmother

Becoming a godmother for a girl is a big step. After the rite of baptism, the girl will have to become a second mother for the child, help her in raising her and completely replace her for the goddaughter if something happens to the parent.

The godmother must be present at the wedding of her goddaughter

The godmother should give gifts for all birthdays and angel days of her goddaughter. In addition, she must certainly be present at all important events in the life of the child.

It is the godmother who is obliged to instill a spiritual principle in the girl, visit churches with her, go to communion, and also pray for her goddaughter. She should become a good example for the child both in spiritual and worldly life, help him in difficult times.

The role of the godmother is very responsible and serious. A girl who agrees to baptize a child should remember that they become a godmother for life. This status cannot be waived under any circumstances.