The son drinks and does not want to work prayers. How does alcohol addiction begin? How to help your son stop drinking: in more detail

What is the right thing for a mother to do if her son drinks heavily, does not work and does not start a family? How to help a drinking son so that he does not abuse? What are the causes of drunkenness young man? Psychologists know the answer to all these questions, and we have tried in our article to briefly outline the essence of scientific research and monographs on this topic.

Having not found the answer to the question why the son began to drink, one should not try to help him without his knowledge. Before you do anything to the mother of the son of an alcoholic, you need to understand the causes of alcoholism.

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Causes of drunkenness in men

Alcoholism consists of physical and psychological dependence, especially dangerous and insidious. Psychologists have identified the main reasons that young strong and healthy men are drawn to the bottle.
1. Failure at work.
2. Problems in personal life.
3. Inconsistency of own forces with the set goals.
4. Depression.

The first thing a mother should do if her son drinks is to understand her child and in no case judge him. Who knows what's going on in his life. Maybe his girlfriend left him or there was a conflict at work. Often men over the age of 30 drink because of their disorder. Peers already have families, separate housing and successful work, but he has none of this.

Understand your child and gently push for frank conversation. Psychologists know how to help an alcoholic son, He needs to see the root of the problem for himself. Push him to the right thoughts. Let him analyze the situation himself.

Psychologist's advice: how mothers behave with an alcoholic son

What definitely cannot be done if the son is a drinker is to blame yourself and justify him. Lamenting over an alcoholic and crying about the injustice of life, you form in him the position of a victim and infantilism.

· a drinking person must himself realize that he has a problem and alcoholism poisons not only his life, but also the life of loved ones;
· the consequences of all his "adventures" the alcoholic must disentangle himself. If he fell asleep on the floor, do not drag him to the bed, let him wake up there in the morning, do not help him come up with excuses for the boss at work and do not give him a hangover. The main thing is not to feed the demons of an addicted person, do not give money, even if he says that this is the last time;
You can not scare a person that you will kick him out of the apartment or leave him. Over time, he will understand that you are not capable of such a step and will not think about the consequences;
· all alcohol should be removed from the house and all household members should also stop drinking;
· Screaming and scandals will not help a drinking son in any way. Do not raise your voice at him and do not throw tantrums. An alcoholic is the same drug addict, he is inclined to look for the guilty not in himself, but in the surrounding people and circumstances. As a result, he will begin to justify his dependence by the fact that he was brought to such a state.
· Do not talk to your son while he is intoxicated. When he sobers up, try to calmly and reasonably convey to him the need for treatment.

Every fifth mother knows how to live with an alcoholic son, but not everyone can boast of a victory over drunkenness. Indeed, often those who quit drinking again return to the bottle through the fault of their parents, who made a gross mistake. Many mothers, knowing how many troubles and misfortunes the drunkard and rowdy brought them, cannot forgive the offense and try to remind them of it at the first opportunity.

When dealing with a former drunk, you must be careful not to provoke a breakdown. Try not to touch this topic with either an evil or a kind word.

If you constantly praise a person for not drinking, he will perceive every day of sobriety as a real feat, and not the norm of life. In no case do not sniff at your son and do not refuse family holidays. Such a reaction of relatives will cause humiliating feelings. Forget the past and move forward.

What are the prayers for the son not to drink

The church believes that a drinking person is possessed by demons, and only God and prayer can help him. However, God does not come where he is not expected, and an alcoholic is often in a difficult spiritual state and cannot understand his problem himself.

In this case, it is up to his relatives to save the demon-ridden person. Priests recommend reading a mother about a drinking son a prayer to the martyr Boniface or the prayer "The Inexhaustible Chalice", which is read near the Icon of the Mother of God.

Mothers of the sons of alcoholics should be church-going, take prayers seriously, and do good deeds in the name of saving the sick.

Prayer to the Holy Martyr Boniface

O long-suffering and all-praised martyr Boniface! We are now resorting to your intercession. Do not reject our prayers, but graciously hear us. Heal our brothers and sisters (names), who are obsessed with a serious illness of drunkenness, and for the sake of falling away from their mother the Church of Christ and eternal salvation. Oh, holy martyr of Christ, touch the hearts of their given ty from God by grace, soon recover from sinful falls and bring them to saving abstinence.

Pray to the Lord God, for His sake, and suffered thou, but having forgiven us our sins, will not turn His mercy away from His people, but may He strengthen us in sobriety and chastity, may His right hand help those who are sober to keep their saving vow to the end, but in days and in awake nights about Him and repay a good answer about Him at the Last Judgment.

Accept, servant of God, the prayers of mothers who shed tears for their children; honest wives, weeping for husbands; children of the orphans and the poor, abandoned by drunkards; all of us who fall to your icon, may this cry come with your prayers to the Throne of the Most High. Cover and keep us from crafty trapping and all the machinations of the enemy. In the terrible hour of our exodus, help us to pass through the aerial ordeals without fail, with your prayers deliver us from eternal condemnation, and may the mercy of God cover us, forever and ever. Amen.

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How to deal with an alcoholic son? The question is topical, because alcoholism is getting younger. Drink not only husbands, but also children. A person encounters alcohol very often and at first more often forcibly. Why is alcohol so attractive? Because of its two main properties: uplifting and, inducing serenity, eliminate fears, tension and stress. All holidays, corporate parties, meetings are always associated with alcoholic libations. At first, it becomes interesting to feel a change of mood, fun, a feeling of lightness in oneself, then gradually there is a desire to repeat and feel it again, imperceptibly the person is drawn in. 56% of the Russian population suffers from alcoholism and drunkenness.

What should I do if my son drinks?

The son is an alcoholic, what could be worse? Life with an alcoholic is by no means heaven. A drunken alcoholic is disgusting: his eyes are cloudy, his gaze is meaningless, he barely moves his tongue, he is always torn somewhere, he demands to be understood, and he can even shed a tear, but more often he begins to threaten, climb with his fists. Then a woman comes home from work and worries: how is he there, how will he meet him, drunk or not? If this is repeated constantly, then women think that heaven is in heaven, hell is here.

What behavior would be appropriate in this situation?

How to behave? If we are talking about a son, first acknowledge the fact of his illness. There are many cases when a mother does not pay attention to her son's drinking, believing that he does not drink so much. This is a huge mistake, because every disease has its beginning. But do not blame yourself for everything, do not cultivate infantilism in your son. Do not look for the guilty, and even more so do not blame yourself. Accept your son's situation, stop fighting him. You don't have to fight the problem, you have to solve it. Any struggle always gives rise to confrontation, there is no result in the end.

Start with yourself, live in harmony with yourself, do not make your son the center of the universe, shift your priorities to other children, grandchildren. Don't focus only on your son. Let your son feel your presence, but at the same time show that you will no longer save him, pull him out of trouble, but always help him if he wants to stop drinking. Now he has long been an adult, and if he wants to remain a drunkard, then this is his choice, let him live as he sees fit. Wait a while.

Living with an alcoholic is very difficult, often just scary for your life, so remember: only those who have a strong character, who do not give in to pity, show patience and equanimity and remember that alcoholism is the choice of a son, can endure drunkenness in this situation, He is an adult and is responsible for his own life. An alcoholic will find excuses and never admit his drinking. He doesn't need to be a babysitter. You have already done the most important thing for him in your life - you gave him life. You are not a single entity with your son, he is responsible for himself.

Step by Step

So: stop patronizing. Do not shout, do not go over to emotions, do not convict him of deceit, because he is always sure in his soul that no one from his family will notice his drunkenness, do not threaten, do not blackmail. Alcoholics are very sensitive to your false threats and do not respond to them. If you have already threatened something, fulfill the promise, the alcoholic should know: you are capable of deeds, your word is flint. How to get rid of addiction? Be consistent in your behavior: don't serve your son on binges, don't drink together to reduce the amount you drink, don't shorten your life. You don’t need to undress a drunken son who has fallen asleep in order to drag him to bed, cover him so that, God forbid, he doesn’t freeze, let him wake up where he fell asleep. Do not run for him for drinks and do not get him drunk. Do not cover for him in front of the boss, do not drag him out of the police, do not repay his debts, do not clean up the traces of drunkenness, do not try to arouse pity in him, do not beg him. Alcoholics themselves often know that drinking is bad, but they do not tolerate criticism, believing that this is their own business.

Be calm, firm and confident, this will cause your son to be insecure, he will begin to listen to you. Don't hide bottles of booze, don't pour them down the sink, don't control how much you drink. If he threatens to leave the house, let him go. It is unlikely that he will be able to live without you even for a short time. Access to material values ​​​​in the house for the drinker should be closed: do not keep stocks of money at home, do not give your son a drink - any amount of money will not be enough for him.

Shows aggression - call the police, not the neighbors, let them know that you will act according to the law. Let him grow up and solve his problems, he himself admits his powerlessness, he himself will come out to talk with you. Only when you show rigidity, he will begin to understand that this is something new, unknown, it will not be possible to live as before, and only then will the thought of changing something appear.

Do not argue, do not reproach, talk to him, help him and provide moral support only during his period of sobriety. Not in the morning when he woke up from a binge, no. Let him recover physically, but not mentally yet, then it is necessary.

Make the situation open to the family, do not fight one on one with your son, you should be in the majority. You can even use the shock technique when the whole family, relatives, colleagues gather and everyone speaks out about the drunkenness and behavior of the alcoholic son, his children, next to the alcoholic father, also begin to develop a stereotype of behavior: the son needs to drink to have fun and decide any problems. If you can’t live nearby, make a choice and, of course, only in your favor. There are a lot of “no” in your tactics of behavior, but this should not confuse you, because before that, apparently, there were too many “yes”.

He does not want to, let him not be treated, the consequences of the choice will be on him. If it is dangerous to let him in, but he is registered, change the apartment and write out on your own behalf. If you don’t have the strength and health to swear and prove your case, then live separately, get away from him.

The choice is yours

Don't give up on your life, it's worth it.

Judge for yourself: your humility is very convenient - you endure, you are always to blame, he has nothing to think about. Shelter, food, money - everything can be obtained without difficulty, and he takes everything for granted.

Deprive him of himself, then he will have the motivation to do something himself. Your changes in behavior will not go unnoticed by him, he will be alert and think.

An alcoholic is not a disabled child with a developmental defect, you do not need to feel sorry for him, to be indulgent towards him. It is useful to complicate his life, he needs to show that his way of life does not suit anyone and the family does not intend to endure this, he must change and “mature”. Remember for yourself as a formula: without his consent it is impossible to get rid of drunkenness. It is a pity, but it is impossible to cure without his consent. One day the binge will pass.

But if he takes at least some steps to change and reduce drunkenness, does not drink for at least 2 weeks, then encourage him, praise him. Don't forget the carrot and stick method. Some intimate conversations with your son, as a rule, do not help much, try to keep him busy, distract him from thoughts about drinking, from drunkenness. If the son nevertheless embarked on the path of sobriety, do not praise him beyond measure, because he did not accomplish a feat, but began to live like a normal person. Do not remind him of past mistakes, do not sniff and interrogate him, do not defiantly cancel the upcoming feasts in the circle of loved ones with a meaningful cough - this is humiliating for him.

Psychologists believe that the “victim” always has a hidden benefit: to hear the sympathetic words of others, to arouse in them a feeling of pity or admiration, that you should erect a monument during your lifetime. Believe me, this is too small a coin in exchange for your own health.

According to the criteria of harmfulness, alcohol is comparable only to heroin, but not everything is hopeless. It may not work right away, but you can succeed, and your son will get rid of drunkenness. How can I help my son quit? you are not alone, alcoholism is being treated, hospitals have been created, and groups of teetotalers, and groups of anonymous alcoholics, and in the end, various methods of treatment, drugs. But the main thing remains: without the desire of the son himself to get rid of it does not work. And no matter how much sympathy your tragedy causes, the facts are as follows: you can help when the son himself turns to you with a request. And this is possible for you.

If alcoholism has entered the family, then this problem affects all its members, including the addict himself. You can often hear the question: the son drinks, what should I do? What to do if your loved one drinks? It is most painful to watch if the closest people suffer from addiction to alcohol - mother, father, son or daughter. Every mother worries when her son drinks heavily, what to do in such a situation, she may not know. There is nothing worse for a mother than to admit that her son is an alcoholic. After all, you can’t leave your son or divorce him, and in any case, you don’t want to destroy the family, where recently there was harmony and love.

If the son is an alcoholic

Many do not know what to do and continue to live with pain in their hearts and watch how their loved ones ruin themselves. All their attempts to return a person end with the fact that they receive in response only excuses and unwillingness to recognize themselves as an alcoholic. Gradually, things begin to disappear from the house, as there is not enough money earned, and sometimes they simply do not exist, because often a person addicted to alcohol does not work.

When an alcoholic begins to drink, he becomes simply unbearable and begins to irritate people close to him, causing them only negative emotions and heartache. How should one behave in this situation and what to do if the son drinks?

In fact, there are no clear guidelines for dealing with an alcoholic. The development of the situation can only be affected by the personality of the person who drinks, as well as other unpredictable circumstances. However, there is one standard moment that is easy to predict. Regardless of whether a relative or other close person drinks, the fact remains unchanged that the psychology of the drinker and attitude towards alcohol changes over time.

Scientists have proven that this is the same for all people. The situation has two endings: a deplorable one, when people completely become an inveterate drunkard, and the other is more rosy, when an alcoholic stops drinking and begins to live as before.

Sometimes the drinker takes too long to drink right decision Therefore, the responsible role falls on the shoulders of relatives and friends to reduce this time as much as possible.

So, if the son is addicted to alcohol, and the mother does not know how to help him, then it is best to start by making a psychological portrait of an alcoholic. Thanks to this, she will be able to get answers to exciting questions.

Where do problems start

AT modern world people are exposed to alcohol at every turn. These are a variety of holidays, parties and celebrations that can not do without alcoholic beverages. When a person begins to drink, he treats alcohol with caution, noticing with interest the unusual changes that begin to occur in the body.

With each sip, it becomes more and more difficult for a person to control his actions, a pleasant lightness arises in the body.

Everything around becomes something unreal, and all problems fade into the background. A person feels more confident and sociable, there is a desire to live to the fullest.

On the this stage alcohol is practically harmless, and after its effect ends, a person does not feel bad, on the contrary, he is cheerful and cheerful. It is thanks to such consequences that the thought begins to creep in about what will happen if the dose is increased.

If you don't stop, this could be the start of a staircase leading down. Drinking alcohol uncontrollably, you may not notice how the body gradually gets used to the action of alcohol and requires more and more.

This stage is characterized by the appearance of a morning hangover, but this is not yet alcoholism, but the banal effect of toxins on the human body. The next morning, feeling disgusting, a person mentally reproaches himself for drinking yesterday, but he does not get drunk, so he does not get drunk. Often, after the state of health returns to normal, the desire to relax after work and drink a little appears again.

And a person starts everything from the very beginning. Before alcoholism finally takes over the human body, it may take a year or two, and for someone even decades.

Where does the disease begin?

One day, after taking a large amount of alcohol, a person has new, not entirely pleasant sensations. What causes such a strong hangover?

In scientific language, this is called withdrawal syndrome - in other words, the beginning of alcoholism. Experiencing such sensations, a novice alcoholic does not know what to do to get rid of bad health. The worst thing is that the former aversion to alcohol is no longer there, on the contrary, vodka or beer is a kind of medicine and alleviates the state in which the alcoholic is.

Hidden drunkenness is when a person feels the need to be in a state of mild intoxication. In this state, he feels confident and comfortable. He can still wait for the evening to relax after a hard day's work. But this is a delusion - this is how alcoholism began to progress.

It seems to a drinking person that he can easily not drink, but in reality everything happens differently. When the son drinks heavily, what should the mother do in this situation? If an alcoholic who is at this stage lives in your house, then it is useless to fight him, since he does not notice his problem and continues to behave as usual, that is, to drink when he pleases.

It often happens that relatives also do not attach due importance to the impending disaster and turn a blind eye to many things. When they catch on, it is often too late and the family doesn't know what to do with the alcoholic.

As the disease progresses, the withdrawal symptoms become stronger and the son begins to drink more and more. Each time, suffering from a hangover, the alcoholic starts drinking again, and so on in a circle. The problem becomes obvious to everyone who lives in the neighborhood.

Small doses do not deliver satisfaction, the body requires more and more. Relatives and friends do not know what to do and how to live with an alcoholic, there are constant conflicts and scandals on this basis. The addict also begins to realize that there is a problem, and besides, alcohol no longer delivers its former pleasure.

At this stage, there is a small chance that a person will recognize himself as sick and go to a doctor, but only a few are capable of this.

After that comes a crisis in the human mind. Once at the epicenter of the problems that have accumulated to this point, the addict understands somewhere in the depths of his soul that all the troubles are from alcohol. He renounces alcohol and stops drinking, however, when the opportunity arises, he finds a reason and breaks down.

It already seems to the relatives that nothing can be done and this will continue in the future, but this is not so. This period is characterized by the fact that the mind of an alcoholic is open to beliefs. However, only a specialist will do this best, just help a loved one gain strength and seek help from a doctor. However, remember: after undergoing treatment, the son can again take up the old.

Sometimes attempts to give up alcohol can drag on for several decades. Do not entertain yourself with vain hopes and believe the endless promises to quit drinking. There are only two ways for an addicted person:

1. He again and again makes attempts to quit alcohol and, breaking promises, returns to him.
2. He with the help loving people and competent professionals refuses alcohol forever, ignoring even the smallest doses.

As you can see, the higher the patient's level of conviction, the greater the chances of a 100% recovery.

When to start fighting

It is often believed that the main thing in the fight against alcohol is time, having realized the problem, the addicted person will ask for help himself. If a mother believes that her son does not drink so much and that nothing needs to be done, this is a huge delusion. It is necessary to be wary of any drinking and at any age, since every disease has its onset.

Of course, scandals will not solve the problem, the main thing is to remember that it is necessary to make comments and express your dissatisfaction with what is happening in a rather mild and friendly manner. Each mother, seeing that her son is drinking heavily, decides on an individual basis what to do. But in any case, one cannot do without qualified medical assistance.

Often, a person has good, in his opinion, reasons for drinking. Try to find out what is bothering you loved one and help him.

Most importantly, convince your son that alcohol is not the answer. Help him get over his hangover. For this, there are folk remedies, and pharmaceuticals.

Be tougher, do not feel sorry for your son and do not indulge him, otherwise it will only worsen the situation. Don't give him money, stop washing him the dirty clothes he came in after the party, and so on, show him that his drunkenness is unbearable.

It must be remembered that in no case should you change your position and firmness of character. Try to create everything the necessary conditions so that the son does not have a desire to drink at home.

Talk to him more, insist on your own. The task of the mother is to start sounding the alarm as early as possible. It is necessary to take action after the first trip of the son with friends to football or attending a party or other events that can not do without alcohol.

You can't give up! In men, the disease is more common, but it is easier to cure. A caring mother has good intuition, she knows the child from the cradle, so she will immediately notice changes in his behavior.

When to start sounding the alarm?

It is much easier to deal with your son's alcoholism if you notice the problem on initial stage. When a grown child drinks, he needs even more care and understanding. The psychologist's advice is aimed at finding the root cause of addiction and then trying to eliminate it. The following are ways to deal with the main manifestations of alcoholism to adjust the patient's life. Health care(droppers, coding), the use of vitamins, sedatives - this is an addition to psychological assistance.

The main factors that provoke the disease can be called the following:

• lack of goals in life (boredom, unloved work);
• stress (physical labor, parting with a girl);
• bad example (drinking family, aggressive company);
• excessive guardianship (the desire to prove one's independence);
• the child was humiliated all his life.

How to turn an alcoholic into a successful person?

Rich, respected people are less likely to be associated with alcoholism. They know how to invest in their favorite business, such men will win sympathy without any problems. beautiful girl, they are appreciated by friends and acquaintances. If the image of your son does not correspond to the ideal, you should not blame the child for this. Doesn't exist at all bad people, there are only individuals who have not revealed their potential. Look back into the guy's past - this will be the first step in the fight against alcohol addiction. Did he choose the university after graduation? Has your drunk son always liked his specialty, or has he spent a dozen years at an unloved job, dreaming only of the end of the working day? How much did the employer give out after hard physical labor? The main reason for drunkenness in men is the lack of self-realization in life as a person. Sometimes very wealthy people start drinking liters of vodka because of the realization that they have chosen the wrong path. They lack the support for change and the courage to stop drinking.

If the daughter drinks, what should the mother do? It's never too late to start a new life! If your child dreamed of becoming a doctor, help him with his studies. Take out a loan so he can train as a paramedic. Having done what you love, a person begins to feel complete and needed by someone. If someone considers the profession of an artist unpromising, still give the opportunity to draw. How to get a child to stop drinking and get busy? There is no need to press here.

Even an avid alcoholic, seeing the realization of his childhood dream through the veil, will begin to paint pictures. Push your child on the right path: we will sell the product, and with the money we receive we will buy you new material. Talk about successful people more often, but not for the purpose of humiliation. “Van Gogh had a unique style, your paintings are also different, they are very bright” is a great phrase to start with. Argument praise, give your son the numerical indicators of his success, you can specifically increase his sports record.

Come up with a buyer for the painting, write a note of gratitude on his behalf. Realizing the illusion of success, the son will soon get used to this image and will move on.

Build self-esteem

Ugly, overweight or too skinny people can acquire children's complexes due to the bullying of others. Sometimes low self-esteem arises from scratch. If the son was unlucky several times with a girl or was kicked out of his favorite job, he begins to engage in soul-searching. Remember, there are no losers! God created each person unique.

How to help the "ugly duckling"? It is worth finding a good stylist for your child, not stinting on quality clothes. Going to the gym with an active, upbeat trainer will give your son an incentive to get better. For comparison, show your child a photo before (groomed, angry, drunk) and after (stylishly dressed, fit person). At first, it will be very difficult to get a son who does not work anywhere to go out sober. It's sad to look at a slut-daughter, especially if she drinks. What to do to turn a girl into a beauty? The mother may have money problems, but do not skimp on affection and useful expenses (buy everything yourself, do not give money at first).

And some secrets

Have you ever struggled with alcoholism in your family? Judging by the fact that you are reading this article, you have a lot of experience. And of course, you know firsthand what it is:

• husband is constantly drunk;
• scandals in the family;
• all money is spent on alcohol;
• comes to beatings;

Now answer the question: Are you satisfied with this? How long can this be tolerated? And how much money have you already "leaked" for ineffective treatment? That's right - it's time to end them! Do you agree? That is why we decided to publish an exclusive story of Elena Malysheva, in which she revealed the secret of getting rid of alcoholism.

Everyone wants to take care of someone

How to deal with an alcoholic son? As mentioned above, the key to success is the maximum workload of a person, so that there is not enough time for boredom and satisfaction of the need for alcohol. To save a son from alcoholism, it is worth creating a warm environment around him. If a man has children, let them communicate with their father more often. Stop any attempt at rudeness. A person who rages and kicks out relatives from the apartment is an image created by prolonged drunkenness, which is very difficult to overcome. Phrases in the style of “do you remember, you and your wife went on a business trip 3 years ago, Sasha was still small, then he really liked to swim with his father in the sea” have a healing effect. Make an excursion into the past, remember the period of the son-excellent student, the son-assistant.

good, loving girl together with a caring mother is able to help a person get rid of alcoholism. What to do if the son drinks and no one wants to enter into a relationship with him? Get a pet. Even in a small apartment you can find a place. Morning walks with a pet will distract the guy from the desire to hangover every day. A loyal dog loves to lick the owner's palms, and barks joyfully at a meeting. Stroking a pet, the son will feel needed by someone. He will feel guilty because of hunger good dog if the guy constantly drank vodka and forgot to feed him.

Live sober communication

A happy person never gets drunk. Favorite work with a friendly team, a caring wife, obedient children, true friends... Having such a lifestyle, a person will feel comfortable in reality, he does not need to create illusions with the help of vodka. If there are people around who want to study and work, your son will begin to look up to them. Athletic, energetic friends who think soberly and positively will charge the guy with good energy.

Try to organize the isolation of the drinking person from bad companies. Show good examples, introduce him to the children of your friends. How to rid your son of drunkenness completely? Enroll him in a section or courses that will be of interest to him. New acquaintances will bring a lot to life good emotions. Comparing positive people with the former company, a man will sooner or later draw the right conclusions.

Don't blame yourself when your son drinks. A significant role in the formation of this unpleasant state is played by external factors, such as the situation in the family, the attitude of the work team, the presence of love and support in life.

ALCOHOLISM CAN BE OVERCOME
for 1 RUBLE!

The latest development of doctors and scientists! It's hard to believe but An effective drug for the treatment of alcoholism exists - Alcobarrier, which in 2 weeks (14 days) is able to form a persistent feeling of aversion to alcohol even in a chronic alcoholic. Any alcohol becomes disgusting to a person, even the smell of alcohol is disgusting.

It is very difficult when the daughter drinks, what should be done for complete healing? We need an integrated approach:

• support from family and friends;
• communication with a psychologist;
• help of professional doctors.

Drug treatment of alcohol dependence will not be enough, you first need to eliminate the root cause of the disease. Confidential conversations and mutual understanding can prevent this problem in loving families.

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Adult son drinks: how can a mother help?

What should a mother do if her adult son drinks? When alcoholism invades family well-being, the problem absorbs all its members. It is especially difficult to watch how a son drinks, and any mother has a desire to find a way to help overcome addiction, be it prayer or a conspiracy. If no action is taken, then a healthy, adult person who works and leads an active lifestyle will soon turn into an alcoholic. To know what to do in such a situation, first of all, you should seek help from specialists and hear the advice of a psychologist.

Any mother is sadly experiencing the fact that her child drinks heavily and has become an alcoholic. As a rule, she is looking for all kinds of ways to help her own child, and discourage the desire to drink alcohol. Trying to do something on your own, you can harm the health of the drinker, so you should know what methods are effective, whether prayer or conspiracy will help, and how to behave in this situation.

When the son became an alcoholic

Most do not know what to do and how to act correctly in this situation. They can only watch from the sidelines how their adult child destroys health with his own hands. At any attempt to hint at a problem, mothers hear resentment and constant excuses addressed to them, since a person, as a rule, does not recognize the presence of alcoholism.

After some time, valuables, money begin to disappear, work is walking, and the money earned by a person is spent on alcoholic beverages. When a young person drinks, he becomes uncontrollable in a state of intoxication, irritates, inflicts mental pain on his loved ones.

There are no specific prescriptions for the fight against addiction. The subsequent situation can only be affected by the nature of the abuser himself or certain circumstances. But there is one recurring factor in almost every dependent factor that can be predicted. It doesn't matter who in the family got drunk, because over time, the psychology and attitude to strong drinks in an alcoholic begins to change.

Experts have proven that this feeling occurs in every person. This situation can develop in two directions: the addict finally becomes an inveterate drunkard, the alcoholic decides to give up alcohol and begins to return to a normal lifestyle.

Often, in order for a person to come to the refusal of alcohol, it takes a lot of time so that he can break himself and decide on this step. Here, the relatives have one task - to minimize this period as much as possible, by all means inclining him to the fight against alcoholism.

A psychotherapist's consultation will help the mother find the right approach and help her adult son.

If the son drinks, the mother needs to seek specialized help. Psychologist's advice and consultation will help to correctly draw up a psychological portrait of an addict, based on these data, influencing your adult child.

Root of all problems

Today, alcohol accompanies all celebrations. Any holiday is not complete without alcohol. If a person is just starting to drink alcohol, then he, as a rule, treats it with caution, noticing that changes in the body occur during drinking, which may seem interesting:

• lightness hovers in the body;
• the person is happier;
• quickly finds a common language with the team;
• a cheerful mood emerges.

Under the influence of alcohol, problems fade into the background, there is no desire to think about any consequences. This stage of intoxication is considered safe, and after the effect of strong drinks ends, the person does not feel discomfort, but on the contrary, he is very cheerful and cheerful. Therefore, many begin to gradually increase the dosage, believing that the state of euphoria will be much stronger. If a person cannot stop, then this will be the starting point on the path to alcohol addiction. Excessive alcohol consumption is addictive.

At this stage, withdrawal syndrome occurs. But the presence of a hangover does not yet speak of alcoholism, since it is simply the body's reaction to the toxic effects of ethanol. Because of this, a person feels bad, he mentally regrets that he took so much yesterday, but in order to get rid of a bad state, he does not hangover. For this reason, he does not have binges. But most often, when the state of health stabilizes, the desire to drink alcohol again after difficult everyday life arises again and everything goes in a circle. In order for alcohol addiction to fully take possession of the human body, decades pass, and maybe even one year.

How it all starts

Alcoholism begins when withdrawal symptoms are relieved by alcohol. At the same time, in a state of a hangover, a person no longer feels disgust for strong drinks, but takes them for a drug that facilitates general well-being. Thus, the addict enters a drunken state, since after a “hangover” it is already difficult to restrain oneself.

When the son drinks in the evenings, this indicates a form of hidden drunkenness. He can still wait until the evening to relax, but if this continues almost daily, then alcoholism will begin to progress.

A person thinks that he can easily do without alcohol, but in reality this is not so. And what should a mother do in such a situation if her son drinks? At this stage, the alcoholic does not admit that he has a problem. He believes that he can quit at any time, just now he does not see the need for it.

The main thing is not to put the brakes on the situation. Something needs to be done, as there are many cases where relatives turned a blind eye to the situation until alcohol completely knocked their relatives down.

Reasons why my son drinks

There are several reasons that make you look for solace in a bottle. When the first signs of alcoholism become noticeable, the mother needs to show all her cunning and wisdom in order to understand what exactly is the cause of alcoholism.

If a person is addicted to alcohol, then this may be to blame:

• Problems at work.
• Failures in personal life.
• Uncertainty and inconsistency with their own goals.
• Depression.

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding in the team or with the immediate superiors, and there is a threat that he will lose his job or not achieve the long-awaited career growth.

If there are problems associated with personal life, then the son can also seek solace in alcohol, afraid to open up and talk about painful things with someone close.

Perhaps the reason that a man drinks lies in life's uncertainty, especially if a person is already over 30, and he still lives with his mother. This factor greatly depresses him, since peers have long had a family and their own housing. This discomfort constantly emotionally puts pressure on him, from which a person begins to drown his feelings in a bottle.

If a man has a depressive state, then most likely for this reason he abuses. Mothers need to try to unobtrusively find out what is troubling her child. If possible, you can invite him to visit a psychologist so that he can help sort out the problem.

Prayers and conspiracies from alcohol

Relatives are always looking for ways to save their loved ones from the "green snake", resorting to unconventional methods, hoping that prayer and conspiracy will help rid them of addiction. When a son constantly drinks, his parents try to do everything possible so that their child does not become an alcoholic.

Prayer and conspiracy is a kind of appeal to higher powers with a request to save a person from alcohol addiction. For them to work, the words must be pronounced with clarity and confidence. Prayer and conspiracy can work if people have faith in forces from outside. If a prayer is pronounced by experienced healer grandmothers, then the probability of a positive result increases dramatically, because when a person is brought to such witches in order to recover from addiction, this means that the whole family believes in its power and words. The prayer that the sorceress says sounds convincing, and people who decide to take this step must believe that the words are material and will certainly affect the current situation.

Prayer for alcoholism is pronounced by any person directly in the church with candles. It is within the power of anyone who believes in something higher. Usually a prayer is said by relatives, but the one read by the patient himself is considered the strongest, as this indicates an awareness of the disease and the current situation.

What is a mother to do?

When an adult child drinks, many mothers try to believe in the best, reassuring themselves that this phenomenon is temporary, thereby dooming their child. When prayer is not considered a way out of the situation, then the first thing a loving mother should do is to admit that there is a problem and try to do everything possible to persuade native person to fight alcoholism.

1. It is better to start immediately, as soon as it became noticeable that the son often comes home with a fumes or drunk. In this case, do not shout and show aggression. You should show grief and pain because the child drinks and ask him not to make his mother experience these unpleasant feelings anymore.
2. You should not press too hard on a person with constant reproaches and lectures that alcoholism is bad, and that it makes life together unbearable. You should find the courage in yourself and not try to impose on an adult man that the mother is the only main man for which you need to stop drinking.
3. It is advisable to build the most trusting relationship, trying to push him to a heart-to-heart talk in order to identify the cause and identify the problem. If he constantly leaves the topic, then it is better to postpone it, but at the same time, constantly reminding that nothing can be solved by silence. One way or another, the son will surrender and tell what is troubling him.
4. When the conversation takes place, one should not scold and reproach him for constantly drinking away funds. This factor will only further aggravate the situation, spoil the relationship and will not force a person to quit alcohol.
5. You need to try to show that he can always find support in his mother no matter what.
6. It is necessary to convey that his mother will no longer save him, since he is already an accomplished person who controls the course herself own life. From her, he can only get support and good advice. This will make him feel what a meaningless life he leads.
7. You should not give him money for a drink (even if some kind of event is planned). It is necessary to patiently explain that the mother will not destroy the child from her own supply, but will help financially if he agrees to undergo rehabilitation.

If you follow these tips, then the person will eventually understand that it is necessary to stop abusing and return to normal life. It should not be done in such a way that a young man feels abandoned by the most dear person - his mother. Even if it hurts and you want to scold him, you need to be as restrained and patient as possible.

All materials on our site are intended for those who care about their health. But we do not recommend self-medication - each person is unique, and one or another means and methods cannot be used without consulting a doctor. Be healthy!

The information on the site is provided for informational purposes only, does not claim to be reference and medical accuracy, and is not a guide to action. Do not self-medicate. Consult with your physician.

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It's important to know! People suffering from alcohol dependence do not have a chance to live to old age and die a natural death: 62.1% of them commit suicide, 72.2% kill, 60% die from pancreatitis, 67.7% from cirrhosis of the liver and 23.3% from diseases of the heart and blood vessels. Read more->

What should a mother do if her son drinks regularly

Unfortunately, the problem of alcoholism is very actual. The disease can befall a person both at an older age, or old age, and at a young age. The son's drunkenness always shocks the parents, because it is the parents who are the most baked so that their children do not become alcoholics. A person suffering from alcoholism loses interest in their own development, work and life. The usual methods of dealing with the problem of the parents of the son are: attempts to persuade, quarrels, scandals, or last resort - threats. Parents then ask friends, experts, or search the Internet for answers to the same questions: What to do if the son drinks? How can I help him deal with the problem? How to cure a son of alcoholism? First of all, you need to deal with the causes of drunkenness, its behavioral characteristics that lead to soldering, and what exactly parents can do in this situation, and what is absolutely impossible. Later, a method of therapy and a way to help the son cope with the problem are selected.

Possible reasons for son's drunkenness

The reasons why this trouble can happen to a son can be very diverse. Some circumstances in the family, at work, or in personal life can push on a slippery path. This usually happens for the following most common reasons:

• Overprotective parenting. AT this case, the son just wants to resist excessive pressure from his parents, so to speak, to prove to himself or to someone that he is already independent and can do whatever he wants.
• Complete lack of interests and goals in life. Alcohol simply becomes his vital interest, and everything he does is reduced to the intake of alcoholic beverages in the body. In this situation, the desire to find goals in life becomes less and less.
• Life disappointments and failures. Your son's indecision does not give him the opportunity to look for other solutions to existing failures.
• Stress. Loud failures break the human psyche. Usually they are associated with personal life, or a general perception of unpleasant situations.

How to understand that the problem has gained momentum

Most often, it all starts with a small beer. Often, parents do not have time to notice how the disease has already taken possession of their son. There are signs by which you can easily determine the degree of the disease of your native:

• Drinking frequency. The most important and most noticeable sign. Drinking has gone from celebrating to having nothing to do, or there have been too many important occasions.
• A sharp reaction to the excitement of the father with the mother. The alcoholic becomes short-tempered and rude towards worried parents.
• Rapid change in son's state of mind. No longer so worried about the needs of the family and indifference to their appearance and condition.

How parental actions affect addiction

The main task is to build relationships with your son, increase trust, and make it clear to your son that you are ready to save him by all means. For this, positive actions will be:

• Show that you want to build a relationship. Your actions should be perceived not as punishment, but as help in the situation that has developed by third-party factors.
• Bring to your son that it is not alcohol itself that interferes with his life, but its consequences in the form of destructive actions in a state of intoxication
• Give him vivid examples, albeit fictitious ones. To tell how an alcoholic, a family friend, had some kind of misfortune associated with alcoholism. An acquaintance had to amputate his leg due to gangrene, which he developed from an excessive amount of alcohol he had drunk, or, as an acquaintance in a state of “squirrels”, he beat and crippled his own mother. Such examples should shake the mind of anyone. thinking person and to force, albeit to a small extent, but still, to think about the consequences of hopeless drunkenness.
• Always speak only softly about his problem, show sympathy. Negative actions of parents

Parents, involuntarily, can only aggravate the condition of an alcoholic. After all, there is a response to your actions, which quite often turns out to be a kind of protest. But if the son is already drinking, then what to do is by no means recommended:

• Arrange scandals and quarrels. The dependent son in this case will feel that he is not loved, as it should be, and in turn continues to drink.
• Make your own decisions about medications that can add to the problems associated with other diseases.
• Indulge him in his bad state in the morning, do not feel sorry for him when he is ill from alcohol, or simply does not want to take care of himself. It is impossible to nurse him further and sympathize with the fact that he is poor and unable to work due to alcohol.
• It is categorically impossible to postpone the solution of the problem until later. Addiction can develop at an incredibly fast pace.

Is it possible to cure the patient at home?

You can deal with adversity at home. Of course, people are increasingly resorting to the help of specialists, but favorable conditions at home, the situation in the family can eliminate the need to turn to specialized institutions and experts. The main thing that parents should do is to understand what exactly made their son take this path. Then you need to reconsider your attitude towards him, and give him the opportunity to choose what else he can do, except to drink away everyday life. Be more interested in the problems and interests of the drunkard, but this should be done with extreme caution, because obsession can also negatively affect recovery.

Folk methods

Many people use spells. The mother can read the words of conspiracies to her son while he is sleeping. Talk about food or water that he takes. In this case, the alcoholic is treated even without wanting to. But such a method has not been scientifically proven, although the experience of many people has shown that if the method is applied correctly, it can be effective.

Sometimes, even the most inveterate alcoholics can be changed by faith. The fear of sin will make him think about whether it is worth killing himself and dirtying his soul, and then stop drinking. Rehabilitation centers are often located at monasteries.

Professional treatment for alcoholism

From a professional point of view, there are just as many approaches to curing a patient. Here a comprehensive approach is required. One type of therapy will not give a result, but if you deal with the problem from different angles, then the trouble can go away. The complex method mainly includes 3 stages. There may be more stages, but there are 3 main, mandatory:

• Body cleansing.
• Psychological therapy.
• Rehabilitation.

Each of the stages is important in its own way and performs unique functions.

Cleansing the body

Each drinking person has an individual rate of drug treatment. The number and type of drugs is prescribed by the treating narcologist. This is done to remove toxins from the body. Drug treatment - detoxification is only necessary if the patient has taken alcohol 2-3 weeks before the start of therapy. It also depends on the amount of alcohol consumed. But if the patient took alcohol in this period, then it is definitely impossible to start psychological therapy.

Psychological therapy

Psychological therapy is necessary for the patient to change his mind, and most importantly - to admit that he is addicted, and asks for help to cope with addiction. Qualified psychologists conduct courses and trainings. Patients work on themselves together with employees, and if the patient openly helps specialists, the process will go much faster and better. The construction of new outlooks on life, interests, inclinations is the main goal of the centers for the psychological rehabilitation of alcoholics. To date, the most effective healing program is the 12 Steps. It is practiced all over the world and has many positive results.

The problem from the point of view of psychotherapists. The principle of coercion

There is a very important principle - coercion. There is such a thing as therapeutic coercion. Attention, this principle does not portend violence. Violence categorically cancels the possibility of choice, and coercion should make it possible to make a choice, but with a hint that the choice is small, and a different path of development of events will lead to colossal consequences.

The principle of re-education

There is another important principle - "re-education", which is the return of responsibility. That is, if a person falls down when making a choice, then he should feel all the unpleasant consequences of this choice: loneliness, degradation, social indifference, health problems. Quite often this becomes a healing factor. Not out of revenge on a person, not a way to scare, but out of the principle of reality: if you do something, you will definitely get consequences, you will reap the rewards. We have to talk about this, because a number of parents are trying to amortize this, saying “he probably suffers, he is probably unhappy, and therefore we will do everything for him, wash him, stroke him, feed him and other methods to show the drunkard how sorry he is.” It is categorically not recommended to do this, because in this case, the problem will only deepen, and the patient's condition will only worsen. The son must be responsible for the consequences of his choice, and only in this case, the truth can come to him that leading such a lifestyle is not as easy as it seemed.

Social rehabilitation

After psychological therapy, it is necessary to continue working with a sick person. After all, it is so easy to break loose, and if it breaks once, then we can assume that the entire course of treatment was in vain. This is a program to maintain a person's condition after the treatment process. It helps to adapt to society and enter the world as a new person, or rather, the former one, before your son overcame addiction. Socialization is just as necessary as the previous points of complex treatment. It is necessary to kill a person's fear of society, to give him the opportunity to get used to a sober view of the world. Rehabilitation is the final factor in overcoming the problem that destroys families, especially if the son becomes the subject of destructive actions.